3 year ago I was sitting in the garden, scrolling, in my dressing gown with a goblet of gin, wondering what the hell had happened.
I’d cancelled my wedding and broken up with my long term partner.
I thought I’d played my cards right and by the book.
But I felt lost, lonely, low confidence and confused.
The thought of dating again and making the same mistakes terrified me.
Fast forward to now, I am loving life and attracting amazing women that are right for me.
I got aligned with what is most important to me and I live life on my terms every day.
I turn up confidently because I know what I want and where I am going.
And I help men go on the same journey…
..to get back in the game and learn to speak & live their truth.
💬 In limbo and wondering how to comfortably get into your next relationship?
DM me LIMBO and we can jump on a quick call to discuss how I can change your life ☎️
Not a bad day at the office… 🏔️
I recently had the chance to photograph Soner Osman in Chamonix. Let’s be clear: he’s not just a man in a van; he’s a man on a mission.
Son is a fearless adrenaline junkie and a dedicated life coach for men who are tired of “just getting by.” He works with the “normal guys”—the ones who’ve nailed the career but feel disconnected, or those navigating difficult or broken relationships.
His philosophy? We only get a limited number of spins around this planet. Living in regret isn’t an option.
Through boundary setting and emotional growth, Son provides the brotherhood and mentorship men need to build a life they’re actually excited to wake up for.
⚡️ Ready to stop overthinking and start living? Reach out to @sonosman_ to find out how.
📸 Need to tell your story through visuals? Let’s chat: @storybrandcreative@lucyjtomsphotography
#MensCoaching #ChamonixLife #PersonalGrowth #RelationshipCoach #MensHealth
Hi, my name is Son and this is why I help men.
Anxious, overthinking, overwhelmed, lost, stuck, confused or lonely.
I’ve been there, I found the way out and now I help guys do the same.
Why?
Because I now know there is an actual way to have healthy relationships 🤯
Seriously, so many of us men:
👉🏻 Just think things will get better.
👉🏻 Bury our heads in the sand,
👉🏻 Kill her with kindness or
👉🏻 Think it’s just how relationships are.
The problem is that no one taught us how to be good at relationships, school doesn’t and most of our parents had no better idea themselves.
While the funny thing is that human connection is arguably the most important need.
So here I am, from my own pain and struggles I am sharing with men so that you don’t need to go the long way round like I have.
It’s not easy but then again what actually is.
Share, or if you can relate send me a DM with the word NOW and I’ll send you the next steps 💙
1. You stopped having opinions.
“Whatever you want.” “I don’t mind.”
You think you’re being easy. She’s lost interest in asking.
👉🏻 Mr Wallpaper
2. You’re going through the motions.
Saying the right things. Doing the right things. But you’re not actually present. She can feel the difference.
👉🏻 Mr Faraway
3. You’re keeping score silently.
Something bothered you. You didn’t say it. It didn’t go away - it just turned into resentment.
👉🏻 Mr Silent
4. Her mood controls yours.
If she’s stressed, you’re stressed. If she’s happy, you relax. That’s not love - that’s anxiety inducing. And it exhausts her.
👉🏻 Mr Caméléon
5. You’ve confused peace with passion.
Less arguments, sure. But also less fire, less effort, less of you. That’s not maturity. That’s just fading out.
👉🏻 Mr Avoidant
The funny thing is, you may not be one of these, you could be doing a mixture of them at different times.
Please know none of this makes you a bad partner. But it does make an absent one.
Many men don’t blow up their relationships dramatically. They slowly disappear from them. They stop saying what they actually think. Stop asking for what they actually need. Stop showing up as someone with edges, opinions, desires of their own.
And the cruel irony? The more you abandon yourself to keep the peace, the more the connection you’re craving disappears. She can’t feel close to a man who isn’t really there. You can’t feel loved by someone who only knows the edited version of you.
That loving connection you want - the real thing, not just coexisting under the same roof - it only exists when you’re fully in it.
When you speak your truth. When you stop managing the relationship from a distance and actually show up.
A free man doesn’t shrink himself to be loved. He shows up whole and lets that be enough.
If this landed, start with my free guide The Pause. Link in bio.
The skill that separates the relationships that last from the ones that don’t.
The moment gets uncomfortable. Most guys check out.
They go quiet. They pick up their phone. They start an argument about something else entirely. Or they just leave - physically, emotionally, sometimes both.
And I get it. I’ve done all of it.
Most guys I speak to are stuck right here. Not bad guys, not checked-out guys - just guys who were never shown what to do when it gets hard. So they do what feels safe to them. Avoid, deflect, disappear.
But that moment - the one that feels like too much - that’s not a sign to bail. That’s the door 🙌🏻
That’s when you lean in.
The Pause isn’t about fixing anything. It’s about staying in the room - with her, with yourself - long enough for the real (maybe ugly) stuff to come out. Long enough to actually grow.
It’s only a dysfunctional relationship if you don’t lean in to connection.
It’s not too late to learn how to do this.
Link in bio ✌🏻
This climb had me bricking it.
Which apparently is exactly what you want.
There’s a part of your brain called the anterior mid-cingulate cortex. Scientists think it’s basically your willpower muscle. And just like a muscle - it only grows when you stress it.
Type 2 fun. The stuff that terrifies you before, breaks you a little during, and quietly makes you proud after. Climbing. Cold water. Hard conversations. Whatever your version is.
Every time you do the thing you don’t want to do - that brain region gets thicker. Literally. And the next hard thing? Slightly less hard.
Most men I know aren’t struggling because life is too difficult. They’re struggling because they’ve been avoiding difficulty for too long.
Get on your wall.
🧗🏻♂️ Tours d’Areu - Vie de Garçon 6C
Meditation is your gym.
Same as can be breathwork.
This is where you get good at creating presence.
Recognising the unwanted thoughts in your head.
Noticing feelings in your body.
Being able to slow down and give a tough moment what it needs.
Being in hard times with a partner without running away, or abandoning yourself.
Who you are when you go silent is the real you.
When you slow down, chill, be silent and still….this is where you master presence.
This is what your relationships needs, for you to be able to grow.
To go deeper and create a stronger bond.
Being able to stay present when your partner wants to talk or even argue,
This is the moment when you will start to speak your truth.
Saying how you really feel about XYZ.
But until you can cultivate the calm stillness.
You will repeat the pattern, which has so far not served you well.
Peace brother 🙏🏼
~ to read more about the important of presence, check out the free PDF in my bio 🙌🏻
This relationship skill would have saved my last long term relationship…
And honestly I’m a bit pissed off nobody taught me it sooner.
It’s called The Pause.
And it’s not complicated. It’s just - before you respond to her, you actually listen. Like, fully. Not planning your defence while she’s still talking. Not waiting for your turn. Actually hearing what she’s saying.
Then you check in with yourself. What’s true for you right now? Not what sounds good. Not what keeps the peace. What’s actually true.
And then you say that.
That’s it. That’s the skill.
Sounds simple. It’s not. Most of us have never done it once in a relationship.
I made a free guide on exactly how to use it - The Pause - link in my bio. Go grab it.
Men need to come together like brothers, to support each other where they are slacking.
This is where I am at with “men, make women feel safe”.
It’s not about taking sides, causing divide and making one of us wrong.
A lot of men are hurting and lost inside.
Thanks to generations of men being told to suppress their emotions, soldier on and their value is in external success.
There is a severe lack of good role models and healthy masculine behaviour being displayed, for our greater wellbeing.
Recent history has not served men well..as well as women.
We are all one.
And we are in it together.
So it is never a time to attack another man for his actions.
More so pull him up, get his attention, make him aware…and give him the opportunity and guidance to become a better man.
This is our work.
This is what our women need.
And this is what we all need.
Men, let’s stand together - I invite you to boldly share this post and use your voice.
This is not a man’s world. It is our world to share.
Women still don’t feel safe walking home alone at night, getting in a taxi, or now - in some cases, in their own homes.
That is not okay. And silence makes us complicit.
This is not me shaming or pointing at all men. The vast majority of us are good. And women know that.
But the dark side in this modern world is visible now - and we can’t unsee it.
So what are we going to do about it?
Here’s what men are actually good at: getting together, backing each other, and creating change.
So let’s do that.
Let’s stand up to the men who slip, who get it wrong, who misbehave - before their behaviour escalates and ruins someone’s life.
Let’s be the men our women are proud of.
Brave. Confident. Supportive.
Let’s undo generations of damage.
Let’s make predators and creeps know they are being watched, and they’ll be stopped.
For our partners, daughters, mothers, sisters, friends, neighbours.
We share this planet - so let’s act like it.
It continues at the football, at work, on the train, in the pub. That guy who makes a slur - tell him it’s not okay. Don’t look away.
We’ve seen actions like BLM change how we look, talk, and act. I’m asking for the next movement.
One where men make women feel safe. Where we change how we behave.
Where we stand up - every time, everywhere.
Let’s make women safe. Let’s make men proud.
Men. We need to talk.
Too much behaviour is slipping by because calling it out feels uncomfortable. Because it might cause conflict. Because it’s easier to say nothing.
We all know we’ve done it.
But silence is agreement.
My girlfriend was shouted at twice last week coming home from work, on the tube and on the street in daylight. I’ve learnt that is normal for her and her friends. And that’s the everyday stuff - the stuff that gets normalised because no one says anything.
From the Epstein files, to porn sites collaborating with pro-rape communities, to Inside The Manosphere showing a rapidly growing movement pulling boys and men away from valuing women - this isn’t fringe anymore. It’s escalating. And it escalates because we let the small stuff go.
I’m not asking you to wrestle anyone. I’m asking you to say something. To not look away. To hold your fellow men to a higher standard.
Because when we don’t - they take our silence as permission.
The world is better when men and women understand and respect each other. Women bring the best out in men and vice versa - but only when we choose love over fear, respect over control.
So whether it’s a stare, a comment, a joke, or worse - call it out.
Our women deserve to feel safe. To know we have their back.
That’s on us.
Share this with a man and a woman - so she knows where you stand.
He doesn’t lose relationships. He repeats them.
Do any of these sound familiar? 👉🏻Gives everything at the start, then slowly disappears 👉🏻Picks the wrong women, every time, somehow 👉🏻Shuts down when things get emotional 👉🏻Keeps the peace instead of speaking his mind 👉🏻Gets close then finds a reason to bail 👉🏻Feels more himself alone than in a relationship 👉🏻Loves hard but can’t quite let someone fully in
The common thread is that every single one of these is a way of staying safe.
You probably don’t even realise it’s happening.
But somewhere in childhood your nervous system learned that letting a woman in close leads to pain.
So it taught you to run, disappear, chase what feels familiar, wear a mask, keep the peace, stay alone.
It made sense back then.
It doesn’t serve you anymore.
The good news - these are learned behaviours. Which means with the right awareness, they can be unlearned.
And you can actually have what you want.
If this landed - I work with men on exactly this. Link in bio.
