ya know,, i’ve always been the kind of person who thinks way too hard about the shit i post on here..
i feel like it really comes from growing up with this app being such a big part of my development as a teenager, constantly seeking the approval of others, feeling like i need to learn the Laws of Socializing and how to perform well enough so people will like me.
my inner teenager is longing to be free to exist as whoever they wanna be.
so i must be that for them!! life is too fucking short to care about such silly things,, so here’s to not caring so much 🎆
anyways, this pic of me in 2020 is wild to me,, im so handsome ☺️☺️
today is the day i leave my home in sf that i’ve been at for basically 3 whole years and move out of sf for over 4 years. this is not by choice or even desire right now. rent recently went up and i’ve been attempting to support myself as an artist since february. before that, i was already struggling to support myself as a barista because after months of working and having to mask and be in an environment that depleted me, i would burn out and have to take time off work.
i have gone through so much since being in this home. from ages 19 to 22 is such a big time in ones life and so much has happened since i started here, it’s so wild to reflect on how many versions of myself i have seen myself through over this time, how much i’ve learned, how many different relationships cycles that have started, ended, blossomed here.
people often are posting their exciting life transitions and accomplishments but thats not what i’m doing today. i hardly post anything these days because things are not all sunshine and rainbows over here. i am here to reflect on the time i have spent in this home and feeling appreciative for all the love and beauty i’ve gotten to experience here.
it is deeply and beyond upsetting that we live in a world where we have to prove to a landlord that we deserve to have a roof over our heads by coming up with a ridiculous amount of money each month just to feel any semblance of safety.
housing is a human right. EVERYONE deserves to be housed and protected.
i imagine a world where we can build our own homes and communities with each other. where we can have community gardens and gatherings and share meals and create our own support systems within.
i am so lucky to have the love and support around me that i do to even let me come this far and also to help me feel safe in my next steps. catch me in oakland from now on.
