The Aussie sun is built different.
The skies are clearer, the ozone is thinner, the Earthâs orbit even sticks us physically closer to it in summer, so the UV shows up every day choosing violence.
You donât get it tilâ youâve felt it. So, SLATHER UP. Specially formulated to protect your skin suit from the most brutal UV rays on the planet.
We live in a sunburnt country. Literally. Australia is no.1 in the world for skin cancer. And itâs mostly men.
We all love a day in the yard, surf, or beer garden under some rays - but weâre not very good at looking after ourselves while weâre out there.
So we made SLATHER. A 100% Australian inspired, made, and owned High Protection Broad Spectrum SPF50+. Specifically built for those who live on a giant desert island under the ozone layerâs sunroof yet still go around thinking, âah, sheâll be rightâ - which is probably everyone reading this.
Stay safe and SLATHER UP, Australia. Grab yours today đ .au
Say hello to SLATHER.
Aussies might love the sun, but it doesnât love us back. The only thing worse than the sunâs radioactive rays is our attitude to skin protection. Especially you, lads. Weâre officially No.1 in the world for skin cancer. And weâre hell bent on changing that.
SLATHER is a High Protection Broad Spectrum* SPF 50+ Sunscreen AND Hydrating Daily Moisturiser, designed to help protect you from the harsh Aussie sun, carrying with it the not so subtle reminder that THE SUN IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.
SLATHER UP.
*âBroad Spectrumâ isnât a 13 minute Tool song, it means it protects you from BOTH UVA and UVB rays.
Per our previous e-mail, UV protection is mission critical.
We need to leverage SPF 50+ to move the needle on skin health.
Slather should be the North Star on your epidermis wellness roadmap. A paradigm shift in holistic skin optimisation. We're talking the full-funnel coverage, top of face to bottom of feet, your carapace has been expecting since Q1.
Team, letâs do a deep dive. Are you applying with enough bandwidth? Are you reapplying every two hours as per the SLA? If not, we need to flag that. Sunburn is a non-negotiable blocker and, quite frankly, not something we want to unpack in a post-mortem.
So, if youâre looking for a best-in-class, vertically integrated, broad-spectrum solution that really moves the needle on not looking like a tomato while putting a pin in melanoma - then make sure you Slather Up before you open your laptop, your calendar invite, or your mouth in that 9am standup nobody asked for.
Scientists at SLATHER HQ recently conducted a world-first study into whether âsheâll be rightâ is a valid strategy against the sunâs ultra-violet radiation.
A variety of common defenses falling under the âsheâll be rightâ strategy were tested, including âfair bit of clouds up thereâ, âmy grandpa was 1/8th Malteseâ, âitâs Aprilâ, and âcan just outrun the sun if I have toâ all failing to win a boss fight against a giant ball of fire in the sky.
SLATHERâs specially formulated broad-spectrum SPF 50+ sunscreen and moisturiser was also found to perform significantly better than âtan lines are big on TikTok rnâ and âsunscreen was invented by the Freemasonsâ.
The hottest sunburn tanline trends of 2026 are officially in.
However, if you'd rather not look like a dickhead and stare down a skin graft in 2042 from a doctor who learnt how to use a scalpel from ChatGPT, then grab yourself a twin-pack of SLATHER for just $58 inc. free shipping! (That's only like... 1/8th of a tank of petrol??)
Until today, black has been the only colour that t-shirts come in. But now, thanks to technological advances, the SLATHER SPF corporation is proud to announce the worldâs first âwhite t-shirtâ. Printed on AS Colour 180 GSM 100% combed cotton, so itâs not going to turn into a square block of gravel after three washes.
Wearing a graphic of the sun while you protect yourself form the sun is the ultimate F U to the sun. Also kind of looks like an obscure band shirt, giving you +5 respect the next time youâre at a basement noise show.
Youâre not imagining things.
Unless you think the dentist put a microchip in your back left molar during your last check up, then you might actually be.
But aside from that, someone really is following your every move. Tracking you every time you leave the house. Every step you take, every move you make.
No, itâs not Sting, itâs that big yellow bastard in the sky.
The good news is though, unlike your weird uncle that's always trying to get you to watch YouTube videos about lizard people, you donât need to wear an aluminium suit to protect yourself from enemies in the sky - just slather up and everything will be sweet as.
Weâve been told by sales to tell everybody about the âfeatures and benefitsâ of SLATHER, so weâve made this easy to read and nice to watch spinning animation of a SLATHER bottle with some words and arrows to let you know that SLATHER is a high quality SPF 50+ that doesnât feel like something you usually have a guy mix in a tin at Bunnings. Itâs also a daily moisturiser, so you donât end up looking like the guy who mixed the tin at Bunnings. And it comes in a handy, but generous, 200ml tube so you can go to town and just slather up all your friends and family. (Yes, we will pay for you evil sun tattoo if you get one.) If this still isn't enough to convince you, then the following endorsement should get you over the line.
âI love this product.â - Slather CEO
"Sunscreen? Never used it once in 35 years."
Yeah, alright leatherface. Looks like old mate is gonna be blasting the entire country with UV rays all week. If your stocks are low, we'll sort you out.
Slather up out there! Free shipping on 2 packs!
It protects you from the sunâs UVA and UVB rays.
It hydrates like hell.
It goes on smooth.
Itâs Australian made and owned.
Itâs always got your back (and neck and face and that super annoying spot in between your shoulder blades that you can never reach and have to awkwardly dangle your fingers around until you inevitably have to ask someone else to do it for you).
Itâs SLATHER SPF. Because the sun is not your friend.
