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Some snap shots from end of last year🫶🏼✌🏼 - - 1. My favorite older sister 2. Mudderrrrrr mystery 3. 💗🫶🏼 4. Women making film 🫶🏼💪🏼💃🏻 5. The director and cinematographer 6. Chica noche 7. Max always keeping it focused 👏🏼👏🏼 8. Camera photo 783 9. Camera peeps doing camera things 10. Yo 11. My face when slating 12. A treat to end the day.

Oh grief what a journey you’ve been so far. Although everyone will grieve differently in their life I think one sentiment is true. It doesn’t go away. It’s only been two years without this wonderful human in my life. In the second year, the grief has shifted to feelings of unfairness and sucks…for lack of better words because you can’t help but feel what could’ve been. And I don’t just mean the idea of my life with her, but more so what she could’ve been what she could’ve done, discovered, created, and made, and so much more. Another form of grief is mourning the person they could’ve continued to become. She was a whole universe, constantly evolving. I think that’s where the feeling of unfairness and just plain this sucks really hits in this journey. And I know, I know and well aware life is not fair. We don’t always get our way, etc. But there’s something strange about the kind of unfairness that strikes so deeply. It shifts our view on life and turns grief into this rollercoaster of emotions. I don’t believe that it’s unhealthy to say, “I can’t get over this. This is bullshit.” Grief is painful, fucked, and real, and it’s okay to call it that. We don’t have to rush through the hurt, we just have to feel it. This doesn’t mean we are “broken” or “sad”. We are NOT JUST grief, we are love, joy, sadness, all of it. Two years in, some days feel like ten days, others like ten years. So ending on a ~hopeful~ note. Love the people in your life while you have them. Don’t wait, tell them you love them, do the things that matter, because life be so unfair sometimes. - - -

Start of and end of fall 🍁🍂photo dump. - 1. Me, myself and I 2. Littering streets in LA. 3. Soup kitchen’s Tuesday 4. The heaviest lens on the most smallest camera 5. Girls night 6. Interview day 7. Happy Halloween 🤡🐉 8. Happy Howdyween🤡🤠 9. Dia de los Muertos for mama.

End of Summer gig photo dump. 1. Set selfie 2. 583 photo of a camera in my roll 3. Miss. Ray going 110% on set 4. Andrew in the trunk ( I have at least 4 photos of him in different car trunks) 5. Camera car rig 6. Wrap photo 🫶🏼 7. Finding the shot 8. Making gains! 💪🏼

Summer photo dump. - - - 1. Commercial set up 2. Dead Funny promo☠️ 3. Long commercial day🤪 4. Who needs a man?💃🏻 5. Five out of ten still 🤷🏻‍♀️ 6. My favorite twin sister in the world.🥺 7. Baby sitting the camera 8. Camera team vibes 9. Short screening 🫶🏼 10. Sister night 💕 11. That’s a wrap wrap

Celebrated my birthday with a White Lotus Vibe Murder Theme Party🔪🩸🌸 Thank you to everyone who showed up! My birthdays are unfortunately not something that I look forward to as much anymore, but these group of people made it a little better. Thank you to the people who came to my birthday party and to the people in my life who continue to show up and support me. Here’s to another year closer to the end 😀💕🫶🏼 — Photo list 1. Just in case anyone was confused on who died. 2. “Characters” getting to know each other 3. Someone’s the killer maybe 4. Sunset photos op 5. Vibes 6. Mirror selfi 💕 7. Selfie selfie 8. Clues unfold 9. Final clue 10. Birthday drinks 11. Birthday hang 🫶🏼 12. Cluessss - - - Celebré mi cumpleaños con una fiesta temática de asesinatos con ambiente de The White Lotus. Gracias a todos los que vinieron! Lamentablemente, ya no espero mis cumpleaños con tantas ganas, pero este grupo de personas lo hizo aún mejor. Gracias a quienes vinieron a mi fiesta de cumpleaños y a las personas en mi vida que siguen apoyándome. Por un año más cerca del final! 😀💕🫶🏼 -#mudermysteryparty #whitelotus #morbidhumor.

The last 2ish months. 1. Lady camera team unit 2. 🤠 3. Indie series 4. Bull’s-eye 5. Ren Fair shenanigans 6. Portland girls trips 7. POV cam 8. Sony cam 9. Lights, camera, pizza 10. That’s a wrap.

Happy Mother’s Day to my amazing mother who was taken way too soon. And to all the other mothers who aren’t here anymore. I wish all my friends, work colleagues, hell even acquaintances, in my life could’ve met her, she was a tiny little sassy thing, incredibly smart, my biggest cheerleader, and in many ways, fearless. I feel like days like these are heavy for a number of reasons. And although people will come out of the gate and say “time heals all wounds, she would’ve wanted you to be happy!” etc I think what I’ve learned in my short time of grief and loss is time doesn’t heal anything. We just learned to grow with it. To everyone who might be grieving right now I see you and I feel you. 💗 - - - Feliz Día de la Madre a mi increíble madre, que demasiado demasiado pronto. Y a todas las madres que ya no están. Lo deseo tan a menudo ahora Que todos mis amigos, compañeros de trabajo, e incluso conocidos, la hubieran conocido mu mama. Era una cosita ingeniosa, increíblemente inteligente, mi mayor apoyo y, en muchos sentidos, intrépida. Gran parte de lo que soy hoy es gracias an ella y sólo ahora que soy mayor lo veo más y más y estoy muy orgullosa y agradecida por eso. Desafortunadamente, la muerte te hace darte cuenta de todas las cosas que dabas por sentado cuando la persona aún estaba viva. Siento que días como estos son difíciles por varias razones. Y aunque la gente diga abiertamente: "El tiempo cura todas las heridas, ella habría querido que fueras feliz!", etc.creo que lo que he aprendido en mi breve periodo de duelo y pérdida es que el tiempo no cura nada. Simplemente aprendimos a crecer con él. A todos los que estén de duelo ahora mismo, los veo y los comprendo. 💗

I’m making a thing. Going through grief has really shook up my world. It’s made a very isolating at times, through these times I thought wouldn’t it be great to be able to talk about it? Well through that I thought to make a stand up night show in honor of my mom who enjoyed a good laugh and for those who are grieving to be able to laugh and for those who aren’t to be able to understand. Please come and check out the show. It’s donation based it’s for good cause. And an angel will get its wings.

Found this in my camera roll from a bit ago. Thank you @dannykimfilms for getting BTS. I would love sending these kind of BTS photos to my mom to let her know I was all right and doing what I set out to do. 💗📽️ thank you to everyone who has remember me for work. Here’s to figuring it out regardless of grieving. It’s tough. And sucks. No sugaring coating it.

Te amo mamita linda. Miss you every day. ❤️ They say that the first are the worst and boy is that true. Wanted to make a post because not talking about her seems unfair since it’s all I want to do on a day like this. For those of us who had amazing mothers there’s other love like it. She was my biggest cheerleader and always looked out for me and my sisters. I’m thankful for all the wonderful memories she’s left behind. Happy Mother’s Day to those who are mothers and for those whose mothers are not here anymore. - -Dicen que los primeros son los peores y vaya que es cierto. Quería hacer una publicación porque no hablar de ella me parece injusto ya que es lo único que quiero hacer en un día como este. Para aquellos de nosotros que tuvimos madres increíbles, existe otro amor igual. Ella era mi mayor animadora y siempre cuidaba de mí y de mis hermanas. Extrañar a alguien que se ha ido es muy difícil. Estoy agradecido por todos los maravillosos recuerdos que dejó. Feliz Día de la Madre a las que son madres y a aquellas cuyas madres ya no están.

Twas a nice day to shoot outside.