A message to mum,
It’s hard to belive today is the last day of the last year we will ever have spent together. 6858 days living at the same time as you. Losing you at 18 is hard, knowing you only got to spend 52 years alive only makes it harder. You have taught me how to live so freely and made me feel normal all the times I have felt like an outsider, you’re the one person that’s exactly like me. We have a connection that I’d only want to have with you. Every day I wonder if you think of me from heaven as much as I think of you from earth, but I know you’d be telling stories about me and you to all your new friends and your family. You have lived a hard life losing your dad and your sister, you spoke about them every day. You used to say I helped you when we went to the places you used to go with Papou, but I wish you knew how much I need you now for the same reason. Everyone tells me it gets easier, but I know you know exactly how I feel, you have been through the same thing and you know it could never get easier. Some words from Jim Carey that have helped me a lot recently - “Grief is not just an emotion, it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided. The pain softens, but the imprint remains, a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly “move on.” You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay. Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life.”
We always shared love for Starry Night, I will always remember the day you went to heaven seeing 1 singular star in the sky, I know it was you telling me you were okay, I hope the day I get to see you again in heaven will be the starriest night in the world ❤️
Leaving 2025 doesn’t feel right without you, but I know you know that you share a piece of my soul that will live forever
Mumou forever 🕊️❤️
