If we want to beat the manosphere, we need to offer boys an alternative story of male success.
There is a moment, somewhere between puberty and adulthood, when something ignites in many young men: an almost physical conviction that you have to make something of yourself. Earn money, get fit and, perhaps most pressingly, become high-value on the dating market.
After Louis Therouxâs documentary and a thousand outraged op-eds from the fruit-juice-and-therapy-speak establishment, one might treat the manosphere as evil theatre: hate speech sprinkled with six-packs and cryptocurrency, engineered for a digital ecosystem that rewards shock and awe.
In the
@financialtimes this weekend, I argue that the manosphereâs core appeal is instead about đąđšđŠđŻđ€đș, about giving young men a navigable path through a world that grades them hard on success but offers them little guidance on how to achieve it.
In a capitalist society built on meritocratic assumptions, where failure lands hard on menâs material security, their dating prospects and their sense of self, there is a strong appetite for a definition of success and a map towards it. The manosphereâs advice is, mostly, terrible. But there is a demand.
Polite society doesnât answer that demand. For us, talking too openly about success is not quite the done thing. Success, examined closely, is an uncomfortable subject for anyone who takes seriously how much of it is unearned.
This logic is defensible in a university dining hall. As a message to the generation that actually has to go out and live in this system, it is the worst pep talk in history.
The manosphere wins simply because it shows up, because a crude map beats no map. Itâs ultimately about demand and supply. There you have it, the market failure beneath the manosphere.
Gift link to the full piece in bio