Today, I was received by Kangbyeon Church.
I missed my own graduation ceremony, so receiving flowers today felt beautifully awkward.
To be received, I had to prepare a โGanjeungโ (a testimony). Iโll confess, I had to search for the wordโs meaning. I thought it was a moment to recount โmiracles.โ Having seen no miracles, I thought I had nothing to say.
But a testimony isnโt a miracle; itโs a โwitness.โ
I hope this witness finds someone still in their โboyhoodโ who needs to hear it. This is what I offered.
Boyhood is a time spent fighting the current. A time of relentlessly having to โproveโ yourself with โmy own ability.โ Success only bred a stronger arrogance, making me swim harder against it. Failure was the deeper despair of drowning in it.
Adulthood is a time of learning to โsurrenderโ to that current. It is the courage to honestly admit, โI cannot do this on my own.โ
Itโs the wisdom to stop thrashing. To step out of the narrow, frantic frame of โmyselfโ and willingly make room for a greater wisdom to guide you.
I think of all the young people in Korea who just finished their Suneung (the Korean SAT), now standing at the banks, ready to dive into that same exhausting river of โproof.โ I know too well how tiring that swim is, believing only in your own strength.
It was only within that complete, desperate surrenderโletting go and trusting the water to hold meโthat I finally found true โclarityโ and โpeace.โ
Perhaps this crushing weight of โproofโ we all try so hard to carry, is just a heavy stone. And perhaps itโs the one thing we must set downโฆ before we can truly learn to float freely.