QUEUE UP THEM EMERGENCY CONTACTS FOLKS—Bushwick about to go through an Entertainment EMERGENCY On Sunday ——SIX/SEVEN—— (June 7th) Sam’s Picks RETURNS to Brooklyn’s favorite Christian Dance Venue (@moodringnyc ) for a COLOSSAL Comedy event that funny people everywhere are calling a Gut Busting Calamity that will endanger each of the five boroughs (the splash zone). A level 11 on the Fuck Shit scale!!! I’m NOT KIDDING folks, this one is going to give you early onset dementia - We’ve got sets from ABE SHAPIRO ASHTON WOMACK CARRIE ROSS ERIK JOHN ISA MEDINA NICK NANEY And PETER LIU Yall have not lived through something like this - DON’T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY (We on some Drew Barrymore dancing in the RAIN type shit) SUNDAY 6/7 - 7PM MOOD RING FREE YOU’RE WELCOME, FUCKERS!!!

STRAP IN FOLKS… With only a few weeks until Bushwick is MANGLED by as @tommybayertime calls it, the Ancient Art of Standup Comedy, it’s time to go DVD mode… We’re kicking things off with the very funny Abe Shapiro’s 2017 cult hit, 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙇𝙚𝙛𝙩… After years of relentless punching down, Captain of the football team Steve Schroeder (Shapiro) gets transported into the 8 bit world of Die Hard the Video Game - a notoriously difficult NES classic that only the most skilled of players can beat. The architect of his digital prison is of course computer science major Ethan McDowell, who was known to Steve exclusively as “Professor Pussy.” The only way out is to win the game - and with just one life, that’s going to prove quite difficult. Will Steve emerge victorious? And if he does, will he be a changed man? Or the same swirley-slinging Steve Schroeder, king of the tea app and terrorizer of nerds everywhere? Come get SMUSHED by Abe Shapiro’s surgical jokes at @moodringnyc for no money at all on SUNDAY, JUNE 7th at 7PM….unless of course you’re a little bitch :)

On Sunday May 3rd, Sam’s Picks WALLOPED Bushwick with laughter, love, and a great sacrifice: a 30 year old man’s PlayStation 5….. All of these shows are special to me, but getting to dance along to the beautiful and hilarious music of @park_slope_arsonist —like are you kidding me? Congrats to our PS5 winner @bigwinjim ! Sam’s Picks WILL RETURN next month on…. 6/7!!!! Photos by the immaculate @enemypixels

This SUNDAY….Mood Ring will VIBRATE with laughter and love in a way many experts are calling “Potentially Cataclysmic,” and what better day to see the legendary JO SUNDAY (SNL) Perform for a packed crowd of Budding Bushwickians… To celebrate, let’s take a look at Jo’s 2017 HEART ATTACK of an action flick: To Die On a Sunday After defecting, CIA operative (Sunday) is being terrorized by a corrupt (United States) government, and with little left to lose, they’re determined to make sure the people responsible for their mother’s death get a heaping helping of hot lead before their light goes out. They can’t possibly kill em all, but their record shows they can get pretty damn close… Come watch @jo.llofrice murder you and your peers (with jokes!) at @moodringnyc this Sunday at 7 for FREE NINETY NINE….You may even walk away with a free PS5 - what more do you people WANT?

3 DAYS UNTIL THE BIG NIGHT FOLKS To satiate your Bushwick Brains I’d like to give you a glimpse into @brittany.goblin.carney ’s 2007 Romantic Comedy : Where We Met After years of putting off group therapy, Alissa (Carney) finally caves. She’s not loving the experience until the borderline non-verbal ramblings of one particular member of the group gets his turn to share. A friendship forms like a cataclysmic explosion, which turns romantic just as quickly. But like Alissa’s individual therapist has always said, people can be vices too… Come see @brittany.goblin.carney show you just how wide you can open your mouth to howl with laughter for FREE - THIS SUNDAY at 7PM at the one and only @moodringnyc - and yes folks, you may walk away with a PS5 owned by our host @samschild_ - Come get it before it ends up in the alt-comedy rock and roll hall of fame in 2068! RSVP at the link in the bio - or just show up like a true fan >:)

ONLY 4 MORE DAYS until Bushwick gets a front row seat to a comedy-induced tear in the space-time continuum! Today we’re showcasing one of my favorite comedians PERIOD: Jill O’Connell ( @jilljilljilljillj ) A true comedic original, Tim Heidecker collaborator, and a lover of making people experience early onset incontinence with her characters and jokes! To celebrate, let’s take a look at her 2015 Sci-fi Email Drama: 𝙀𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙚𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙝 Way-Dell industries is known first and foremost for its mediocrity - a data recovery company left in the dust by its competitors. They’re all but ready to close up shop when a new hire seems to turn everything around. Sally (O’Connell) blasts through paperwork like a bat out of hell, and crafts emails like she’s the CEO of LinkedIn - but what’s the catch? What could possibly motivate any human to devote every fibre of their being to a 9-5? Well it may have something to do with Sally being the sole survivor of the planet Memo, and whether she’s here to enslave or send Slack messages remains to be seen…. Come see @jilljilljilljillj and 5 other incredible humorists brutalize Bushwick with goofs and gaffs this Sunday May 3rd at @moodringnyc for FREE….You may even walk away with Sam’s PS5 with low key all of the good games on the damn thing already….

It’s your LUCKY DAY, COMEDY HEADS!! Today’s DVD is that of one of my humor heroes, Ena Da ( @park_slope_arsonist ) Below is a synopsis of her 2018 sci-fi thriller, 𝑩𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝑰𝒏 The new season of Great British Bake Off is almost here—and they’re looking for a new Judge. Lindsey (Da) has been doing everything she can to prepare for the audition: Perfecting her inquisitive chews, learning the language of subtle condescension, and practicing breathing techniques to protect her from the smell of Paul Hollywood. Her hard work pays off and Lindsey gets the part - but she’s puzzled to find that like new popes, judges for the show are initiated behind closed doors in “The Proofing Room.” What she’s shown inside provides the very essence of her being with a substantial “technical challenge.” Come see the LEGENDARY @park_slope_arsonist for FREE (no cap) at @moodringnyc on Sunday May 3rd at 7PM and witness what happens when a lineup so goated threatens the very fabric of space time. You may even win a @playstation 5 —which comes in 𝙦𝙪𝙞𝙩𝙚 handy while attempting to isolate completely!

RELAX FOLKS, DON’T WORRY - ANOTHER DVD POST HAS ARRIVED If a barrel of laughs is the type of thing you’re into, you might wanna revisit Zivan Vasquez’s 2013 travel based comedy, “𝑯𝒆’𝒔 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔𝒏’𝒕 𝒉𝒆?” Buzzfeed Staff writer Thomas Dribble (Vasquez) has a relatively stress free life - so long as his cat Sir Derpington isn’t knocking over stuff on his computer table! But that changes when he’s sent on a work trip (yikes!) to write a listicle on the best pop up stores in Denmark that deserve all your money right now. Little does Thomas know, there’s *gulp* a killer on the loose?! Will this budding journalist make it out alive, or will his article end up being titled 𝙩𝙤𝙥 𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙮𝙚𝙧 𝙙𝙖𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙛𝙛? LISTEN TO ME YOU MOTHERFUCKERS: Sam’s Picks 6 is set to be the most insane show yet with a lineup that makes you go “oh fuck, guess I’m cancelling plans with the love of my life on Sunday May 3rd!” Swipe for the full lineup, just make sure you’re not chewing/drinking anything - wouldn’t want a fellow under employed person to choke :) Come see 6 of NYC’s greatest comics for FREE and get a chance to win my PS5 - if you don’t come, that’s kind of on you!

GATHER ROUND Sam’s Picks-heads! I know yall are HUNG-Y Today we spotlight another performer with a glimpse into the 2013 documentary GHOST NOTES: My life as a Bass Fucker…. For years Sam Otter did what legendary bass players do best - keep a low profile while arranging radical thumping accompaniments that bridge the gap between an average radio rock song and an undeniable hit. But behind closed doors, Sam was taking his love for the bass a step further - engaging in a romantic relationship with his instrument. While many found this to be disturbing - one cannot deny his incredible skills which he claims go hand in hand with his low register love affair. But just how does one copulate with an inanimate object? “The same way you do with a human companion—your head, and your heart. Peanut butter don’t hurt neither!” - Sam Otter, Bassist for 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒔 and narcolepsy survivor. Come laugh with glee for FREE watching Sam do his thing (crush) at @moodringnyc on Sunday May 3rd. You may even win Sam 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙞𝙡𝙙’𝙨 PS5! Either way, you’ll have a great story to tell your mom on your weekly call to ask her for 400 dollars to supplement your GrubHub habit. DON’T SLEEP KIDDIES

With the show of a lifetime rapidly approaching, it’s time for our first DVDeification - the very funny @nickviagas Here’s a synopsis of his 2015 breakout hit, “𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙒𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙐𝙥 𝙏𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚” Despite what most people think, being tall isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, chandeliers and bespoke angular bathrooms at AirBNBs in Vermont can actually make it quite infuriating. After a miserable day getting squawked at by tiny Young Thug fans at Coachella, Ben (Viagas) reaches his breaking point. The whimpering giant catches the eye of a highly skilled wook-shaman - can her DMT alchemy turn things around for our hero? Or will she do what wooks do best: make things much, much worse? Come see Nick make you laugh your ass off for FREE while he’s touching the ceiling at @moodringnyc on Sunday May 3rd at 7PM - You may even leave the bar with Sam’s fully functional PS5 - what more could the largely unemployed population of Bushwick possibly ask for?

BRACE YOURSELF BUSHWICK - Sam’s Picks WILL RETURN on Sunday May 3rd, and on top of having a SICKENINGLY STUNNING lineup, Sam is giving away his Playstation 5!!! All show-goers are eligible to participate, just enter your name in a bucket at the door and at the end of the show a winner will be drawn! He’s dead serious—come watch live comedy while cutting a 30 year old humor artist’s screen time in half! Folks - this is not one to be missed, as usual the show is stacked with certified comedy heroes and if you don’t like to laugh until you develop a stomach ulcer - stay home and shelter in place! Otherwise come on down to @moodringnyc and make that thing HURT See you there sickos :)

Folks—Sam’s Picks 5 wasn’t just a comedy show, it was what Tony Soprano would’ve referred to as one of “the little moments….like this…that were 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙.” A packed house of comedy enjoyers lapping up the the 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 stuff is about all I can ask for as a host/christian/chaperone/sales associate. Yes it’s true—this time we had a few more casualties due to ROFLing too much, but they were all bi runaways so the parents did 𝙣𝙤𝙩 care. The citizen app apparently posted an alert during show time stating: ❗️NEARBY INCIDENT - reports of Bushwick healing through laughter at 1260 Myrtle Avenue! For once computers got it right, and despite warnings from several law enforcement entities—we’ll be back next month you sick bastards :) Scroll to the end to see Sam doing his first set ever in 1958–crowd didn’t get it Photos by the ASTOUNDING @enemypixels