novelty is as old of the hills, so they say, so i walked down one, bathing in rashomon's dappled light, certain i knew the path because there really only is one to follow and that is the one you follow, the one that makes the motley flesh, that tumbles down roundy wells, the path that leads to my own name and by the way, what was it again? something borrowed, something lost, something gained, but this is where i am now, dancin at the rodeo
i ate an orange today for breakfast and in between the second and third slice it started to rain which was new and a little old too like trying to remember a dream i thought i had last year which really isn't any more than a couple of days ago, but anyway, that's all beside the point, which is to say, not the point i want to make which is this: some times the sky looks a little bit nicer when you're looking out the window in the kitchen and you can hear your neighbors making small talk from their back patio and you don't know em all that well
BIG NEWS ALERT
to all who may be concerned: there are many pieces of news to be shared, first and foremost, i'm movin ta san diego! on sept 30, i will be leaving detroit to live with the wonderful, the outstanding, the stupendous gillian, who got a fantastic job out there. i'm real excited to see what the sea says, and mostly to be with her!
the next piece of news is that i finished my apprenticeship! i am now a fully fledged union journeyman carpenter, so that's pretty neat and i'm super grateful to everyone who helped me along this fun lil journey, every foreman, coworker, teacher, and friend i've met and made.
last piece o' news before the biennial report on what's goin on is over, i took 3rd place in the michigan regional council of carpenter's golden hammer construction contest for apprentice carpenters! it was a pretty fun time and i'm proud of what i built and to have been given the opportunity to showcase the things i've learned. got some cool stuff too.
and that's all folks! sorry it wasn't too entertainin of a read, but i gotta lotta things goin on that i was figurin people would wanna know, and now that's all i gotta say, other than imma be real busy for the next couple weeks but if yr around i'd love to see ya!
i've decided to stop rambling incoherent thoughts hoping and thinking about the rooms of interpretation because meaning has to be clear, it has to be precise, it has to be unspoken and known and said out loud. it doesn't make sense anymore to say one thing and have it be another, the things that were whispered should be sitting on the coffee table and we will sit on the couch and we will drink tea and we will celebrate birthdays and anniversaries and weddings and funerals because there has been too much time apart and there will be more and there will be less. it is time for closeness, i've been away from home for far too long and i am ready to be recognized by no one, and i am ready to return to open arms and welcomed because you are my neighbor and we breathe the same air of history and my face has changed as it always will and i hope that is ok and i hope that is clear.
been tryna be lately, to exist as i am existing, to breathe when i breathe, to eat when i eat, sifting through time and settling on the present, when i am working i am working, when i am thinking i am thinking i will not think i have not thought i am thinking, hearing blood flow through my fingertip as i bleed, when i am in love i am in love, when i am reading i am reading, to be is to be, to eat, to pray, to live, to laugh, to love, to infitize everything i can infinitize for the sake of the infinitive, to be corny when i am corny, to consider as i am considering, a river runs and along it i am running because it is what it is, ain't it?
i was getting a hair cut a coupla weeks ago and she was tellin me all bout how she usually raises bees but wasn't this year and things felt different now, like there was some kind of separation in the earth and that was when i decided i wanted to learn about clouds. and i haven't. at least, not scientifically because i'm not good at remembering vocabulary words but i've been staring at the sky a lot lately, trying to bridge the gap that i know is there and i've been telling stories to the clouds and listening to them drip drip drip down on everything. this is all to say that i have been trying to notice and listen better. this is me with some people who i love. this is me looking at clouds
every time i think i have a meaningful thought, y'know, something beautiful that will really wow people, the words are whisked away as soon as i open my mouth to say them. it's frustrating, and i find myself gasping for air, searchin for images, and the only things left are cinnamon and loam.
the noble platypus closes its eyes when it dives into murky waters. it floats for a minute, waiting for electromagnetic pulses, little symbols of movement, to rebound back to its bill so it knows that there is life, sustenance in the streams and rivers where it hunts. and sometimes when i'm bowling, or reading, or looking off into the sky to read clouds like a haruspex, i also close my eyes. i stand there and wait - to hear pins fall, feel the paper in my hands, the breeze on my neck, waiting for that little pulse in my brain to tell me yes, there is something swimming here. there is sustenance all around me.
been thinkin a lot lately about candy cane smoke stacks and eternal flames and factories with thousands of blinking lights that look like cheap imitations of the stars their smog is smothering and how i pay too much in rent and what is my cat is thinking about when she rubs her furry little head against my cheek when i'm sad and how much i love my friends and the cracks on my hands on cold autumn days and how i miss my family and everyone i love here and there and everywhere and how all my favorite things were created by people i love and how hard it is to do the dishes because they just keep getting dirty no matter how many times i wash them and don delillo and tony takitani and all the books i will never get to read because there just isn't enough time to get around to all of them and bowling and getting older and how nice the color blue sounds when the sun is going down and how grateful i am to have so many people who love me and the plants on the windowsill in the living room that are barely clinging on to life and did you know there are only 24 hours in a day?
i have had the distinct pleasure of sharing a home with this beautiful kitty for the past year. she is the cutest lil kitty there is and i love her very much. thank u bb murakami sweet lil mury for being my friend
some day i will abandon all of my ambition and go off with the crickets to hide in the tall grass and chirp away all of the words i have eaten but until then i will sit in a big chair and tell you that i am ok, overall
