RR Sigel

Today was supposed to be Ollie "Smalldog" Sigel's 14th birthday. She and I were side-by-side for nearly 13 years. We said goodbye to her on November 6 and - if I'm honest - until the neurologist showed me the brain tumor on her MRI a few days before that, I was convinced she'd live to be 20 years old, spry, bright, herself, by sheer will of personality.  That any unexplained decline could be reversed.  She was immortal to me and still is. Losing her and saying goodbye was the most brutal, beautiful, and human thing I've ever gone through.  But knowing what was right and getting to take the days to prepare for it was something I'll always be grateful for. (And I couldn't have gotten through it the way I did without @link_yaco by my side) In those final days, I got so many accounts from friends and family who'd had relationships with her over the years. I read them all out loud to her (if you knew Ollie, you know she understood every word).  I can't thank people enough - it helped me embrace the full trajectory of her life (and my life with her), laugh, and sing with her, rather than sit only in the sadness of losing her.  It was a fucking amazing life she led, and that she led me through with her.  See Photo 2: Those accounts were a reminder of how well known she was by friends and family (she had all her own friendships) and how well known and understood I was as a result.  You can't tell me that the Mary Oliver poem @beeceeishere sent me the night before we said goodbye to her wasn't written specifically about Smalldog. People used the terms "well-adjusted," "well-travelled," and "self-assured" to describe her. People had their own friendships with her, totally independent of me. She had a genuine sense of humor. The dog could land a joke. (Ask @freddy_got_fuzz about his collection of photos of 1) Ollie with bunnies and 2) Ollie's nose sticking out from under covers) See Photo 3: I am an incredulous atheist and believe in those things I can touch and see and feel - but you can't convince me that the dog didn't go straight into the center of my chest when she passed away. I physically felt it.  [More below - see ‘Continued 1’]

I got top surgery a little more than a month ago and this is the earworm that's popped into my head at least once a day/night/morning ever since. The Boston-born puritan in me thought top surgery recovery would be an opportunity to train myself out of a habit that I knew was bad for my neck and back. But damn if I don't long for the kind of simple pleasure and specific nightly rejuvenation that's been kept from me these last weeks.  And heck if I don't look forward to re-embracing it when my body decides it's ready in the next week or so. So to the niche audience of people with a love for a particular kind of bedtime comfort and who have (for whatever reason - and there are many options) been kept from that comfort: this is for you. The lesson in all of this is: Where possible, choose joy. Thanks to @sippwissett and @freddy_got_fuzz for the epic care in the first week of recovery, to @jessgoldschmidt who made sure I didn't lift things too soon, and to many others who sent great care packages and delectable food items.

Tanglewood Learning Institute presents postWinterreise 7:00pm April 25, 2026 What a journey it has been. music: Franz Schubert poetry: Wilhelm Müller bass: Andrew Munn piano: Elenora Pertz live electronics: Jared Redmond video design: Daniele Lucchini cyclical sound environment, data sonification and scoring: Andrew Munn field recordings: Ludwig Berger (glacial recordings), Sabrina Bühn, Cornell Lab of Ornithology, Kilian Jörg, Daniele Lucchini, Andrew Munn. neck piece research, design, and creation; aesthetic consultation: Margherita Pevere technical development & score supervision: Jared Redmond musical & conceptual thinking: Kat Austen, Jacob Greenberg, Marlene Heiß, Andrew Munn, Elenora Pertz, Jared Redmond environmental data: Institute for Atmospheric and Climate Science Eidgenössische Technische Hochschule in Zürich, Institute for Interdisciplinary Mountain Research at the Austrian Academy of Sciences, National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Centers for Environmental Information* technical advice: Samuel Hertz, Timo Kreuser, Phønix16, Sebastian Reuter performance producers: Qingqing Ji (Shanghai Concert Hall DigiMuse), Natsumi Kirscher(Queen Elisabeth Music Chapel), Armands Sils (Sansusī Festival) creative producer: RR Sigel

I am so excited that "The Oyster Radio Hour" will be brought into the world later this month @littleislandnyc and would be so honored if friends, family, and anyone else reading this would please attend. (Runs 5 nights - July 31-August 4)  In February of 2023, @yoyoma , @little_miss_echo , @ayliot_lmao and I spent a day on Governor's Island engaging with Elliot's underwater field recordings from NY Harbor - the interconnected sounds of health and depletion. From there, the idea of the humble oyster being at the center of a show about ecosystem, interconnection, and sustainability was born. So with the oyster at its core, we now present a live show that tells (through science, story, and song) of underwater interconnections, how human behaviors devastate (ecosystems and one another), and how we might rebuild.   But this show couldn't possibly have happened without the energies of the many people involved and a remarkably interdisciplinary group of creative minds: brilliant interviewer, writer and podcast producer @anagonz101 ; @little_miss_echo bringing sound, scape and synth to illustrate this world (and also a common love of the Radiolab "Colors" episode - one of the key inspirations for our format); killer instrumental collaborators, @darian.donovan.thomas and @matt_evans_in_the_simulation ; unbelievable voices from Broadway - @jasonmichaelwebb , @amberiman_ , and Amber Gray, with brand new songs from @sonnen_blick (and a few familiar songs you might recognize from decades past); brilliant Director Keenan Tyler Oliphant; @winokurz , Little Island, and the unbelievable Ciera Miller - who understood the idea from the start and helped steward it with care (and who infused it with her writing voice with Emma Harlow), all of us drawn by knowledge and whimsy in the pursuit of hope. It now feels like surreal circumstance that I get to invite you all to it. But I genuinely think you're going to enjoy this thing, and I hope you'll join us! Tickets available at littleislandtickets.com

It’s pride month! And folks in all places and statuses will celebrate and acknowledge in all different ways. I want to share a thing I did that - to me - made me feel like I’m putting my voice out in a new way that is (hopefully!) useful, productive, honest, and constructive. Last week I had the privilege of being a part of @our_common_nature in Knoxville, TN. Mostly developing and supporting behind-the-scenes. But I also had my own opportunity to share - from the stage and in front of 6000 people - what that area means to me.  In planning for the week of events, we talked about this show as being one where  we wanted those in attendance to feel like they were completing a circle with those on stage. What I felt from the stage was the vocal support (laughter! Cheers! Validation!) of appreciative voices and the active reflection and engagement of many. And all of us were a part of a circle together that felt safe and listening. It is hard and scary time to trust people, but I don’t know a better way forward. The basic text of what I said from the stage is in the images above. (If I’ve done this Instagram thing right) I am remarkably lucky to have the support and care of many people as I get to be me. Big thanks to @yoyoma and @sophieshackleton for their clarity and support when I asked ‘what does it mean to be a queer/non-binary producer doing a big show on these themes in TN right now?’ @christhile for the most loving introduction.  All of the artists on that stage who brought their whole selves so that everyone else could feel safe, bold, and empowered to engage in a dialogue. Gratitude to @amythystkiah who let me play along with her badass new song. My dearest sweetheart @link_yaco for understanding when I said - in the days before - ‘I legit can’t talk about this til it’s over because if I do I’ll realize it’s scary.’ And to all those involved @bigearsfestival and @ourcommonnature for creating a place where artists and audience could trust each other and be part of a circle together. Also @og.honeybear …it all started with the double rainbow over Purchase Knob.

Officially introducing OTIS! Finally getting around to the formal introduction of the new member of the crew. Apparently my dog type is ‘rugged little dogs with oversized ears who look like shrink-wrapped versions of larger dogs.’ Here’s some info to answer questions that have come in about the new guy: Otis is now 7 months old, I’ve had him for 3 months, and it seems like he will max out around 20-25 pounds. He was found as a stray and is probably a cattle dog/blue heeler mixed with something small. Ollie (the smalldog) is spry and robust at 12 years old but she did get diagnosed with Cushing’s Disease - an old dog thing - in May, which was the kick in the pants I needed to adopt the next generation (Otis) for her to influence. Glad she is teaching Otis everything she knows! He is going to be a very good dog and already loves romping through fields and trails with his sister. He is pretty mellow for a cattle dog, but that may be (in part) because of Ollie’s influence. He is still a puppy and even the best puppies are - it turns out - A LOT. Otis already had the name ‘Otis’ when I got him from the rescue, but his name was part of the reason I thought ‘that’s my dog.’ It’s one of my favorite names AND linked to great music (Otis Redding) and great creatures (‘Milo and Otis’ and also - more importantly - ‘480 Otis’ the bear in Katmai National Park (IYKYK)) Ollie and I are working on keeping him humble after he got his first New York Times mention before he hit 5 months.

Our old summer camp made the tough decision yesterday to cancel this summer's programs. So here's our love letter to campers, counselors, and camp family far and wide in the form of a camp skit (just imagine you're in a perfect clearing in the woods on a quiet Sunday morning in late July). Here's to lifelong friends getting through these times together - near and far. @alohafoundation @camplanakila @campaloha @ohanafamilycamp @aloha.hive @mushcrush

The smalldog turned ten years old yesterday and was celebrated with a meatbowl, woodswalk, and belly rubs.

In honor of the three year anniversary of the pooch and me finishing the Long Trail, made a quick graphic to illustrate how her hiking strategy has evolved over time.

Happy National Puppy Day, all!

Watches me pack a bag for travel. Is told she will not be joining. Barricades herself in her room. Sulks.

Dog booties lost in transit.