This is me at my 8th birthday party in 1990 dressed as Madonna, leaning up against some classic Laura Ashley in our hallway. Thanks to my mother who hand sewed the Jean Paul Gaultier rip-off, drew on my eyebrows & lent me her earrings.All the other parents were horrified when i answered the door to their basic children.Thanks to my dad who bought me albums and covered our house in pattern.Thanks to my siblings who dressed up as MJ, Prince & Kylie in solidarity.
My childhood really informed my lifelong enjoyment of dressing up.Since my cancer diagnosis I’ve stopped doing it so much, whilst somehow trying to make peace with dying.
For 4.5 years I’ve mostly been in a hospital wearing the same black fake Issey Miyake (RIP) trousers from Topshop Oxford Circus ⚰️ and a black LA Raiders ⚰️ hoody.
An apt ensemble for someone who has largely felt like the walking dead since 2018 and also enjoys an elasticated metal free fit because of multiple surgery scars and constant CT scans.
What can I say I’m a practical bitch.
I’ve been loosely scheduled to die this Christmas but it seems maybe that isn’t happening quite yet.As both my hair and hope have grown recently, I’ve started to tentatively dip back into my brighter wardrobe.
SO, I’m thrilled to be alive to discuss this and more about my love of pattern with @laurengodfreystudio in her new podcast @patternportraitspodcast
Me & Lauren had previously only met once over zoom during lockdown to discuss bowel cancer (how chic!) and so it was wonderful to meet her irl.I say Baroque/She says Bacchus.I knew instantly she’d be a friend for life.The Edina to my Patsy?
It was also my first ever podcast so I was really nervous! I hope you listen and enjoy.
Find it wherever you get your podcasts or via the link in my bio 🌹 #expressyourself
Today marks 4 years since my last lung operation and therefore 4 years clear of cancer and about 3 years off treatment.
I remember the morning of that op clearly because it was during covid and I wasn’t allowed anyone with me or to travel by public transport so I woke up at 5am, packed a bag and walked alone to Guys Hospital as the sun came up over London Bridge.
Quite cinematic really.Especially as hours later I was having both lungs operated on via a robotic machine called da Vinci which made it all feel very Total Recall. “See you at the party, Richter!”
The roses in my local park have had another sensaysh season.Most of my operations happened in summer so I spent a lot of time hobbling around this park as it was all I could manage and the roses always gave me a boost of life.They were particularly useful before chemo when I would come here first and smell as many as possible, trying to fill my nose with this life affirming scent before the stench of the chemo ward would hit me in the face, bounce off the back of my eyeballs and trickle down my throat.
I can still taste it now.
Herb watched me do it so much in the first few years of his life that as soon as he started walking he would follow behind me, close his eyes and smack his whole tiny face into the lower blooms like a custard pie.
My sweet baby.
Tending to my own curly little bud everyday helped keep me alive.So has doing these little doodles over the endless pics I take of them each year and now Herb brings home his own rose drawings that he’s done for me at school.
Thank you to the gardener who originally planted these roses, you will never know the pain I have attempted to sniff away here.A fragrant companion in some very stinky times and a gorgique marker of another year of survival.
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Despite still finding it incredibly hard some days to just be alive, I know what a privilege it is to be able to try.
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Love to my family in Iran.
Free Palestine.
Trans women are women
Justice for Grenfell
God bless the NHS
Fuck Cancer
Deepest thanks to everyone who bought from my Christmas charity collection.I’m incredibly pleased to announce that we raised £4016 for @mummys.star this year.As always thank you to the team at @wrap_magazine who always deliver such beautiful high quality products so generously & thanks to @jessluck87 and @pipamstell for being my pro bono PR and most reliable customers from day one 💘
I lost two friends to cancer in the last 18 months, both young creative women.i think of them all the time and how unfair it is that I remain alive whilst they are not.All the work they would be making that we’ll never get to see.Im still very confused about how to use my creativity post cancer & motherhood but keeping Penni and Poppy at the front of my mind always encourages me to keep making despite not really knowing what I’m doing.
The first year I did the cards I assumed everyone who bought them just felt sorry for me because I was going to die.No offence taken, so did I!
But 5 years later and even though everyone has less money and the world is even worse people still buy them and tell me how their friend loved it and it reminds me that I get so much from making things that others enjoy.And also it’s crackers that I’m still alive! I have to keep going for my friends that cannot.
So thank you all for your support & kind words.The money will mean so much to the families dealing with one of the worst combos life can throw at you (Cancer + a new born).
And thanks from me, it distracts me out of my sadness for a short period of time and for that I am always grateful.Oh life! Oh art!
Lots of love to you all 🌹
Still time to do some charitable shopping in the next few days with UK posting or you can pick up for free in Dalston! My Christmas gift tags with @wrap_magazine make your presents look splendid and once gifted can hang out on the tree for maximum enjoyment.All profits going to @mummys.star helping mothers like me who received a cancer diagnosis whilst pregnant.
Perfect gift for a friend with no manners💅🏼
6 gold foiled cards with premium envelopes, printed in the U.K and £10 from each pack going to @mummys.star You can’t beat these for an ethical yet stunnalina present this Christmas.Link in bio!
Bring back saying a proper thank you via post! 💌 #shopsmall #nicemanners
Look at these beautiful babies 🪩 Full Christmas charity collection with @wrap_magazine is now all online, all profits going to @mummys.star Thank you to everyone who has already bought over the weekend, I love you all and admire your Christmas organisation.Please continue to share and repost for me if you can, I really want the charity to make as much as possible this year.Link in Bio! #shopsmall
CARDS ARE ONLINE NOW! Delighted to be back for a 3rd year with @wrap_magazine for our charity Christmas cards.As usual all profits go to @mummys.star A charity that really supported me during the worst year of my life (and the following three after that too 😂) With every purchase you are helping mothers receiving a cancer diagnosis in or around pregnancy.A whopping £10 from each pack is donated making these the most legit AND most opulent cards on the market this season! Link in bio for full collection! 🎄
Hand cut and embellished golden girl cards for the @theofficialselfridges Christmas windows this year which are created and inspired by legendary sparkle master and personal maximalist hero @andrewlogansculptor 💎 Go see the windows they are FABOOSH
Some sparkles to distract from real life 🌎 💎How chic & gorgique to be asked to make some cards for this years @theofficialselfridges Christmas windows 🌞🎀🫒 Let’s all climb into a martini with a glittery olive!
My next scan is in a few days and if it comes back clear I will be lucky enough to have another cancer free Christmas.I know the alternative too well and I can already feel my mood changing as we get closer to my least favourite season.Making my Xmas cards for @mummys.star is always a good distraction, I would really love for them to do better than ever this year.If you think you can help me with getting some coverage in the press I would really love to talk about why this project is so important.Final designs to be revealed soon, I will let you all know when they are up for sale on @wrap_magazine Sorry to everyone who hated the shoe but @zeziifore spoke for the sessy people 👠💘( as did many glamorous friends and I appreciate you all deeply)
Christmas cards are already in the shops so I’m just here telling you not to buy any until you see the charity ones I’m working on with @wrap_magazine first 👀 ok thanks bye 👠
‘It is said of the Poppy that it represents the broken hearted’
I took this photo in summer and just looked up it’s name and meaning, how perfect a year after Poppy’s death.The anniversary was actually Sunday but it’s hard to grieve your friend when a 5 year old is punching you in the face all day with his new Batman gauntlet that comes with 15 different sounds.Drawing always feels a good way to connect with her.
2nd slide is one of my fave @poppyspapercuts 🌹
#coultersmatilijapoppy #POCHANFOREVER
