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Rob Auton

@robauton

I am a writer and a performer of some of what I write. I am doing my show CAN at The Soho Theatre in London 26-30 May 2026. Tickets are on my website.
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Weeks posts
Things people say to me #standup #comedy
2,685 19
22 days ago
Thanks big style to everyone who has been to a CAN show on this tour so far. It’s been a mission and I’ve enjoyed it. My main goal of recent years has been to put a tour on sale and sell the tickets to the rooms. This is the closest I’ve got to reaching that goal. The only reason there’s been anyone in the rooms is because people have gone on websites and booked tickets and then made the journey to the venues. If you are one of those people then thank you very, very much. It has been wicked to meet you and also sell some paintings and T-shirts. If you have been to a show please tell me how you got there transport wise.
447 74
1 month ago
A joke #standup #joke
120k 897
19 days ago
If leaves could talk #standup #comedy
350 4
3 hours ago
Sometimes when I speak to the crowd at gigs I ask if anyone has any skills suitable for a desert island. “Any chefs in?” One night on this tour there absolutely was. Turns out Ben @bbqforte who is a key player @kamadojoeuk was on the front row and said “yeah I’m a bbq chef.” What followed has gone down in Auton life highlights. I got sent a BBQ in the post! Then Ben came round and showed me how to use it with loads of meat he got from his mate @meatmattersltd . A meat company in Wales who use meat from ex dairy cows. Absolutely incredible meat. If you’re looking for absolute top quality meat then get to their website and order some. I couldn’t believe it. It made me feel like I hadn’t been eating actual proper meat my whole life. Thanks to Ben for sorting this out, to meat matters for sending the meat and to Kamado Joe for making this brilliant barbecue/oven.
620 58
2 days ago
You could get your mates round “hey we’ve been doing the bathroom up in a big way.” #standup #comedy
769 4
3 days ago
On a train in London #standup #comedy
1,351 9
8 days ago
Another joke #standup #joke
748 22
9 days ago
Can you help me think of a name for my business? #joke #standup
22.4k 462
11 days ago
Overhearing #standup #joke
657 6
14 days ago
Audience member keeps saying “what?” #standup #comedy
1,193 7
16 days ago
Did you know the tooth fairy has a side hustle? You can catch Friday’s episode on all of your usual platforms 🎧 Get in touch at [email protected] ✉️ or message us on +447457417769 📱
542 12
20 days ago