How it started / how it's going
One year ago today I adopted three feral kittens living on my patio. It was the best decision I've ever made. They have taught me so much about cleaning supplies, the transience of earthly possessions, and patient love.
Apollo was the first in. He spent three days under my bed until he sweetly poked his head out and came over to sniff my face and I cried. His heart is full of violent yearnings and his eyes are full of past and future crimes. He can open cabinets. He has taken chunks out of two vets. He has torn open and spread an entire 20lb bag of litter on my kitchen floor like a sandbox. Every time I pet his siblings he appears out of nowhere and pushes in front of them. His favorite move is to curl up next to me and slowly extend a single claw into my flesh until I pet him.
Sin: Envy
Pet spot: Scruff
Artemis is a secret. True to her namesake, she sees you long before you see her, and she mostly appears at night. For the first six months I wasn't sure if she would come around - I knew her mostly as a blur between the bedroom and the food bowl, and as the leaver of floor poops at night. Then one day she jumped on my bed at night and stared. Then one day I put my hand out and she sniffed it, scrunched up her face, and launched her entire body into it. Her favorite move is to hide in my shower and jump out hissing and nearly kill both of us.
Sin: Sloth
Pet spot: Butt
And Dionysus is the reason for all of this. Before I adopted him I left my door open and he just walked in and sniffed around like he belonged. He is the wild nature I bargain with every day. He is responsible for periods of my life I now call the Piss Crisis and the Vomit Crisis. He has cost me thousands of dollars. He is the most beautiful cat I've ever seen. Every day is a symphony of meows and headbutts. He greets every single one of my houseguests. He is always body slamming his siblings but has never once scratched me. I sleep easy knowing that if I die he will be the first to eat my face.
Sin: Pride
Pet spot: Chin
one of us can only tell the truth. one of us can only tell lies. one of us can offer you an unbelievable deal on a timeshare property in Boca Raton but you have to act now.
Tolkein said that the most beautiful phrase in the English language is "cellar door" but it's actually "bedazzled bridal fleshlight" #whiteparty #atlantiscruise
damn 30 was the best one yet. thank you to everyone who celebrated twinkdeath with me. so grateful to enter a new decade with an abundance of love, friendship, absurd fits, and weird little dudes who show up on my patio. 🩷🩵💜
these gays... they're trying to nurture me 🤍
also I literally bumped into billy porter while wearing this and he looked me up and down and said "work." and glided away. gonna ride that high for the rest of my life
#atlantis #atlantiscruise #whiteparty
jan/dec 22 😤
this was a very fucking good year. even long covid and the endless siege of my patio garden by squirrels couldn't ruin it. really grateful for my health, newfound stability, and every single person I got to spend time with. 2023 we're getting even beefier, gayer, and dumber 💙🤍💜
