ella rocker

Pretty RAD 🛸

Another rendition of addiction recovery / endurance athlete Venn diagrams ✨ Almost eight years ago, @rawkrr asked me to go on a walk and told me she was struggling. I had four years sober at that point but I was also 20 years old. So it was kind of like the blind leading the blind. But I took her to a 12 step meeting, and showed her what little I knew at that point about what it means to live life sober and give my best shot at a spiritually sound life. Fast forward to now, Ella in NYC and myself in Montana, we spent this weekend walking around Ann Arbor, swapping war stories and reflecting back on what our lives once were like. I'm not sober in a "I used to smoke too much weed in high school" way, I'm sober in a much darker way. Both are valid, don't get me wrong. But I often feel self conscious talking about my sobriety online. I feel damned if I do, damned if I don't. If I don't post about it (which I seldom have for a few years), people don't understand the reality of what I've gone through, and just how bad it was. If I do post, people think I'm glorifying/being dramatic/capitalizing for some kind of gain. Or not. But that's what my brain says sometimes! Silly brain 🧠 Guess what? It's my suffering to "capitalize" on. It's my journey to share. It's really nice to spend the weekend with a best friend who inspires me creatively, silences the critical noise in my brain and just encourages me to share my stories online regardless of what people will think, and most importantly, just being someone to laugh with, and find the joy and meaning in the suffering. Pain is lighter when shared. Hope is stronger when shared too ♥️ Thank You Ella ⚡️

Please be patient with us, we are still getting media trained

Celebrating 20 years of hyper-fixating & (gently) crashing out on @spotify 🎉

I fear I do, in fact, care deeply — and what a beautiful thing that is. Not because I’m ‘the best,’ but because I have the capacity to become better.

Ran 10 miles & stopped halfway through to take pics at @oldfriendphotobooth w/ my sweet little sis. (who utterly cooked me btw)

At 22, I was living on the corner of East Vernor Highway and Helen St. in Detroit. If you had told me then, that six years later, I’d be running the Detroit Marathon—chasing a sub-4-hour finish—and that it wouldn’t be my first (but my fourth) marathon in three years… I would’ve laughed in your face. You never really know where life will take you, huh? Thank you for the opportunity to run with you @riserecoverlive 🧡 excited to be running in my home state.

Weaning myself off London time 💋 xx

It’s actually kind of rare to experience your friends fully in their professional element. I technically know what my friends do: design, finance, teaching, consulting, editing, architecture, (to name a few). And with the artists in my life, I get to see the culmination of their work in shows, on Instagram, or on the walls of their apartments. But then there’s @peterbduckett who I first met working at Aventura in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and whose career I’ve watched unfold over the last decade. I’ve experienced Peter’s unfailing generosity, attention to detail, and deep care in so many personal moments-my birthdays, my sobriety anniversary, the times I visited him in San Francisco when I was living in Santa Barbara. But this week, I got to experience those same qualities, professionally, at @kol.restaurant What he and his team are doing there is extraordinary. I felt held, amply fed, deeply considered, and genuinely surprised. I’m not a food critic, blogger, or influencer, so I don’t have the industry language for this, BUT I am deeply, truly, irrevocably proud of you, friend. It was such a privilege to experience what you’ve helped build. Keep going. (Also, he will absolutely hate this post because he hates both attention and praise, but he deserves his flowers 💐).

BRUV

April is for the little sisters xoxo 💋👯‍♀️🎀🍒🤍🔮🫶💖🙂‍↕️👙☀️🌊💄🧚🌷💐🪸🌼🌸🌞💫💥🌈🍩🍦🏝️🎈💌🩷 ♊️ ♉️♊️

big dawg ™ 🙂‍↕️