Life, you know, it just moves on. I yearn to dwell in history that has her, and mourn over the parts that’ve yet to leave - her food bowl is still out, waiting to be filled with something she’d shamelessly rifle down in seconds. Right now, that bowl is the heaviest bowl in the world. I do not have the strength to lift it, and I’d much prefer leaving it where it is because I know once its gone, it isn’t coming back. And god, do I want to delay the arrival of her absence, of her ghost tottering around the house urgently seeking a comfortable spot to nap at, but life has this stubborn sort of cruelty. Time is even worse. It’s vicious. It hammers on unrelenting, unstoppable and I have to cling on by the thread of its ropes lest I get left behind.
People often find metaphors for grief, but I’m lost on the language of it all. Imli was a part of me, and now that part doesn’t exist. Vanished into thin air, receded into memory. I’m incapable of putting a literary spin to this and the truth is, in the larger picture of my life, this one year and so will scramble itself into a mere blink – and yet, I know that her trace will remain etched into me, into the fabric of my living and my interactions with the world. Speaking to me will be speaking to a personhood contorted by Imli’s presence, like an old tree bent over by a millennia worth of wind.
She and I, we were such creatures of routine, so inseparably entwined in each other’s daily rhythms – we’d even begun inheriting a variety of each other’s illnesses. Back spasms, sciatic trouble, eye infections, fevers, my worst year of health shadowed by this dumb empath of an animal who seemed to misunderstand the limits of loyalty. My big body capable of handling all of it. Hers, eventually, too tiny for such things.
Anyway, I thought writing all this would alleviate some of my general misery, but I’ve only managed to plunge deeper into some hole of sorrow. But at least she’s here as well. And until then, the bowl, my friends, will be resolutely out.
Whoever said this journaling shit helped?
To Imli
Jan 1 2025 to March 31 2026.
We’re continuing to share what our authors have to say about their pieces in our anthology, ‘The City’. @prthvir is a writer we’ve long admired, and his essay is an ambivalent love letter to Mumbai that references everything from Grand Theft Auto to Gaston Bachelard to Werner Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo. Most of all, it features his deeply original and thoughtful voice. Read the full essay and much more in our first print anthology, now available on our website!
A road I once travelled down everyday; now one I strive to find detours to avoid.
Wrote this for Travel+Leisure Asia. These are brief excerpts.
Also, am available to write all sorts of things.
Content warning for last pic.
I am always figuring out distribution for this sort of thing. IG provides the largest possible audience, but it is also a manifestation of hell. I am unsure of the platform's future, and my presence on it.
I have added a link to a substack to my profile. It is not ready, i am still figuring out the platform. But pls subscribe. It will be cool one day.
Play "Sports" by Viagra Boys.
Edit: reposted because apparently I don't know how to use this platform either.
A strange end to the year: on the 31st of December, the loud cat we had been feeding for nearly six months was bellowing ungodly meows at our second-floor front door. Half her face was cut open, and her pregnant belly sagged to the ground. @ramanshreya and I spent the entire day sourcing boxes and towels for her to comfortably give birth in, but she ended up climbing over the books in the cabinet and delivering there on the night of the 1st - four tiny kittens, thankfully healthy, miraculously as loud as their mother.
As the post suggests, they are all up for adoption now (not the mother; she has chosen us to be her vassals). They are all so tiny, it's actually astounding that nature allows such miniscule things to have their own motor functions; they are sweet beyond understanding, and are growing up to be playful, naughty, and lovable cats. Unfortunately, they will soon run out of space to frolic around in - our house is barely functional for two adults, five cats more will crack open the rotten walls and tear open the shoddy tiles. We'd move to a bigger place but my god the rents are ridiculous, but I digress.
We're looking for good homes with good people for these kittens, that's why we are initially hoping to find someone within a maximum of two degrees of separation. The hope of course is that they all find homes as soon as possible (we will ensure they are vaccinated before they're taken), so we urge you to share with whoever you might know and further.
And more pictures and videos are readily available for anyone interested.
