Peter Clement Lund

We have hugged countless times. Mostly before going on stage, but today was different. Today we shared probably the most important hug we have ever shared. We said our final goodbyes, knowing that Peter doesn’t have much time left and that soon our trio will become a duo. But Peter will stay with us forever. We love you all, and thank you for being with us through these tough times. For now, there is silence…

Day 363 - Today we packed our things and I said goodbye to our apartment. Last night we had our final family dinner around our table, we watched a movie together, and all slept in our big bed. Today we got up, I said my goodbye's to what has been our home for many years and we drove to Hospice Djursland. We will be spending our remaining time, of which there is very little, here and try to make the best of it. This will most likely be my final post. When I'm gone, Helle will take over and post about funeral. The page will stay as a place my family can browse through and enjoy. Thank you to everyone who has followed me. Thank you to my beloved family. Thank you to my bandmates in Kollapse and Monkey Okay. Thank you to my friends, near and far. Thank you to my colleagues, and thank you to everyone else. I have loved living my life, making a family, creating art, being an academic, and making friends. Let me live on in your hearts and memories. If you meet my children, tell them a story about me. If you meet my wife, say hi to her. I wish I had done more. I wish I could see my children grow up. I wish I could've made more records. I wish I could've travelled more. I wish had time to write more. I wish there was more time, but sadly it has now slipped through my fingers. I will go to wherever one goes and I will hopefully do it peacefully with my wife and children around. I am grateful for the life I lived and the people I surrounded myself with Love - Peter

Day 362 - Last time playing my guitar, so I sang this song for my wife and kids. Wanted to post it here as a keepsake for them and whoever else would enjoy it. I love playing this song and it will always remind me of my beloved wife and our beautiful children. - Peter

Day 357 (I know my counting is off) In 8 days I'll have been sick for a year. Now I don't know if I will be alive to see that day. But before it comes I did this. This is a picture of me with my friend, colleague and once very amazing pH.d. supervisor @svendbrinkmann . He's been a constant fixture in my life for 8 years now and during that time we also became friends. He helped me through a lot of job-related bullshit, we talked about life, and he helped when our beloved Anders Petersen died. Now I'm the one dying and we decided it might be a worthwhile idea to talk about that on his radio show. So we did that and spent an hour talking about my life, my illness, and my fears. We talked about what it's like being forced to leave your children at an all too early age, how much I love my wife, and if there's such a thing as 'dying well'. I'm very happy he wanted to do this, simply for the selfish reason that this is another mark I can make, another keepsake for posterity - something my children can listen to, when I'm gone and they want to be reminded of my voice or who I was. Thank you for allowing me to do that, Svend. I am currently still at home. I have good days and bad days. Clinically speaking, I am currently too well to be sent to hospice, but at some point that will shift. So Ingolf and I are in a weird place where we a trying to figure out when the opportune moment is to admit me - it is a weird stage to be at. We're basically trying to figure out when I should go to hospice, so I don't go there too early and neither too late. But eventually I will. One day it will be my last night sleeping in my own bed with my children. My last morning with my children at home. At some point I will leave my apartment for the last time and will have to say goodbye to our home for the very last time. I am thankful I got to do this and Svend made the conversation very meaningful. Feel free to write me and keep doing so. I am becoming less and less responsive, but I read everything and I am thankful for it. Listen here: https://www.dr.dk/lyd/p1/brinkmanns-briks/brinkmanns-briks-2026/min-kollega-peter-doer-om-lidt-hvordan-lever-man-sine-sidste-uger-11032621193?fbclid=

This is the update we did not want to make. These last few years have felt unreal. From playing some of our biggest most meaningful shows and meeting some of the most loving, passionate, creative and kind people to being crushed into total submission on every possible level. We cannot escape the fact that our beloved brother Peter Clement Lund is dying. KOLLAPSE has always been about struggle — supporting each other through bouts of mental health issues, existential despair, facing fears and coming out less broken. With this, we have no say, no way to alter what is inevitably coming. We are heartbroken beyond words. We have felt the love and warmth of family, friends and from a music community that has transcended words, genres and borders. To all of you who in some way have reached out, showed up, written or called — we love you all. This band means the world to us, we cannot imagine going through life without this dark beautiful thing. KOLLAPSE will always and forever be the three of us, but we will try to keep pushing on with everything we have in us, but for now we need to focus on showing up, sharing, and making sure that love flows through us all until we have to part... Be present in every moment. Peter, Peter and Thomas.

Day 354 - I got my test results today and they were not good. The treatment has not had a very good effect and we have run out of options. This means that I have now been declared terminal. If we do nothing, I will be gone within a month. We are giving me one more session of treatment, just to see if we can give me a little more time, but there is no cure for me anymore. Needless to say, this is horrible for us and especially my children. In the coming time our door will be open if anyone wants to come by and say goodbye. At some point I'll hopefully be moved to a hospice, where visits are also welcome. But I will be spending all my time with my family during these final weeks of my life. I am grateful for all the support we have been given during the past year - thank you all for that. When I am gone, I hope some of you will still support my wife and children. My funeral will be open to everyone and will be announced here as well. I am terribly scared and so sad for my children and the fact that I cannot be there to help them and watch them grow. If you ever meet them, tell them a story about me to keep me alive in them. I have lived a good life and I hope I have lived it well enough in the eyes of others as well. Feel free to reach out to me or my wife if you want to visit. - Peter

Day 350 - Yesterday was another wild day. It was filled with so many amazing people and endless amounts of love and compassion. We threw a party and I was completely humbled and overwhelmed by seeing so many incredible people and giving out so many hugs. It was an open invitation, but I was absolutely surprised by how many showed up - and by the massive gift table. Friends, family, former students - so many fantastic people showed up and I have never felt so much love all at once. I am utterly floored by the amount of friendship and affection I felt yesterday. Thank you so much to everyone who showed up and to anyone who even thought about showing up. It was a staggering experience. Thank you for all the gifts. Thank you to my amazing wife for planning and doing so much - and for giving a beautiful speech. Thank you to @andreasroedbro for the songs. Thank you to everyone who helped. Thank you to @sebastiantr for the choir rendition of 'You got a friend in me'. Thank you to everyone for your kind and encouraging words. If this was the last party I was to throw, I am very pleased with it. Today we have been resting, and tomorrow I'll go to Skejby for a bunch of tests, followed by a few long days of waiting before I hear my test results on Thursday. I am very nervous, but right now I am mostly feeling a lot of gratitude because of yesterday. I've tried to do my best in life, and if measured by the love and care from all the people yesterday, I must have had some success. I have no words for how it felt seeing somewhere around 200 people and giving out so many heartfelt hugs. Thank you. I will update when I have more news about the coming time. I am forever grateful and I love you all! 🖤🖤🖤 (I wish I had more selfies from yesterday) - Peter

Day 343 - Yesterday we "nonfirmated" my daughter. It was a beautiful day and the party was incredible. The party should have been on the 25th, but we moved it to yesterday on advice from my doctor, to ensure I was as well as possible. My beloved wife, and a lot of friends and family, worked tirelessly to make it a magnificent day. I am endlessly grateful for all the hard work and that I was able to attend. It was a fantastic experience and it was filled with amazing people. My daughter is turning into a beautiful and extraordinary woman, and yesterday that became even more obvious. I am so proud of who she is and what she is capable of. The speeches were great, the company was incredible, the ritual she went through was perfect, and everything went just as we hoped. This was a day no one will forget. It was a lot of work (not from me but from my wife) to make it happen, but it was worth it. I can't fully describe how moving it was to be a part of it. I am still in treatment and going to Skejby every other day for check-ups. On the 20th, I will do a round of tests to see if the treatment has worked. If it has, we continue. If not, we will have to make some serious decisions. I hope to see a lot of friends on the 18th. I love my family and I am so thankful for all the time I have been given with them. Watching my children grow and turn into the humans they are now has been the most rewarding experience of my life. I hope I get to throw a party like yesterday's for my boys as well, but chances are slim. I am trying to enjoy as much as possible these days and to cope with the impossible task of dying and saying goodbye to my favorite people in the entire world. I am scared, but I am trying to manage. Thank you to everyone who thinks of me, helps us out, and writes me.

PARTY INVITATION! (All things are subject to change depending on my condition and well-being)

Day 325 - Back at Skejby. Monday I was admitted to the hospital again, and I am now back at the haematology department I left back in September. I was supposed to start a new treatment meant to control my disease yesterday, but my numbers were too bad, so we had to give me another form of che*o to try and control that. My can*er has changed and I am now suffering from acute leuk*mia. My bone marrow test showed that 75 % of my cells are can*erous, which is a very very high number. I am very sick, and I have gotten very sick, very fast. If we manage to get my numbers under control, I can start a new treatment that hopefully will force the can*er into complete remission. If I can start that, and it works, I can receive that treatment for 48 weeks. During that time we might be able to give me additional stem cells that might cure me. The chance of this working is 5-6 %. If the new treatment does not work, I will be dead in a month or two. This is bad news of course and we're still wrapping our heads around it. 9 days ago everything was fine and we were planning things as a family, slowly allowing ourselves to see a future ahead of us. Now we don't know if I'll even leave the hospital again. I have begun making preparations for my almost inevitable passing and I have a lot of fantastic friends who are willing to help me with this. I really hope Ingolf can keep me alive a little longer. I so badly want to be a part of my daughter's nonfirmation in a month, I really want just one more birthday with my kids, and the longest wish: making it to my own 40th birthday in September. I really don't want to die, but if I must, I hope I can meet it peacefully and painlessly, and that my wife and children will be there with me. If I get out of the hospital, I would like to see friends and say goodbye, so don't be afraid to write me. (This is not me giving up, I am just preparing for the worst.)

Day 320 - This is a post I really don't want to make. I've relapsed, which means the can**r is back. On Tuesday my blood sample showed some unusual things going on with my white blood cells and today it was confirmed that I have relapsed. The stem cell transplant was my best option to beat this and it has now failed. My chances of surviving are now very small. On Monday I will return to the hospital and talk with my doctor, Ingolf, and make a plan for the coming time. We have a last ditch effort to try, but my prognosis is around 5 % now. Needless to say, this is terrible news and it has been terrible and heart wrenching to deliver this message to my three children, who were just recovering and starting to be happy again. My future seems very closed off now and we have started thinking about how we will do things moving forward and what hospice I would like to stay at. We're still clinging to the very small remnant of hope we have left, but we are also thinking about how we would like to spend this coming/remaining time together as a family and what things we would like to do together. If the last ditch effort doesn't work it will be fast and I will be gone soon. No 40-year birthday for me. I hope I've done my best in this life and I hope my children will have long and meaningful lives when I'm gone. I hope my wife will be happy again and will continue to tell our kids about me. Thank you to everyone who's been a part of this gruelling journey in any way.

I seriously hope I can return to academia again in the near future, and so, to see if my mental faculties are still working and I can actually read and understand something else than fiction, I read @naomiaklein 's newest book Doppelganger. I've read No Logo, The Shock Doctrine, and This Changes Everything and found them all fascinating and extremely well-written. Nonetheless Doppelganger took me by surprise. Just like always, this book is so well-researched and thorough, but the premise is comical and absurd. Apparently, Naomi Klein had, for years, been mistaken for Naomi Wolf and vice versa. Wolf, the once renowned third wave feminist, now turned QAnon and Bannon-affiliated conspiracy theorist, is so often mistaken for Klein that, as time moved forward and Wolf became more and more extreme, Klein struggled with people believing it to be her that had abandoned her ideologies and become radicalized. Therefore the book has a much more personal tone to it - Klein gives more of herself in this book and what starts as a book about Wolf's deroute and an investigation into Doppelgangers, becomes a book about Covid and it's terrible repercussions - and the conspiracy-driven resistance towards stopping it's spread. Klein deftly investigates, and tells about her own experiences, during Covid times, but then moves the book to places way beyond just that era. In what I think are the books best part, Part 3, she discusses colonialism, why the Holocaust is not an exceptional part of history but instead a continuation, racism, Zionism, and more. Klein wants us to see ourselves as imbricated with each other instead of our fixation on ourselves as hyper-individualized - a sentiment I agree with and find her arguments extremely poignant. It's a long read, but a rewarding one. You'll learn something about history and why the mirror-world is such a threat to us. You'll see that there might be a way out of the political rut we've ended in, even though the political landscape is even worse now than in 2023. Thanks to @svendbrinkmann for gifting me this one when I got sick - I've finally read it. #naomiklein #doppelganger #gadsforlag #bookrecommendations #booksofinstagram