Alt 98.7: The Next Chapter.
This was my first full week at @alt987fm , and you never forget your first. First love. First concert. First broken heart.
Radio was that for me. This is poetic.
I chose it when I was young, when the path wasn’t exactly practical. I chose it anyway.
I’ve spent more than half my life behind a microphone in Los Angeles.
Five months ago, I stepped away. I thought maybe that chapter had closed. I left because it wasn’t the same and my very anxious wings wanted to fly.
I came back for you.
I missed the music. I missed the connection. But most of all, I missed Los Angeles and the people who’ve been part of my life all these years.
It took me a minute to figure out, but radio isn’t just about music, it’s about you. It’s about us. I want to be responsible for all of us.
I’m now on the air at ALT 98.7, middays, 10am–2pm, Monday through Saturday. I am grateful and blown away to be welcomed into the house this phenomenal team has built: @thewoodyshow@bookerandstryker@christenlimon and every bad ass person here. @laworden set the bar high, which is lucky for me, I love to fly.
I am being trusted to take care of our city and everyone in it. So, Los Angeles, I would love to have you with me on my next chapter, because it was reading all your messages and having your support, that brought me back.
LA, thanks for bringing me home and Alt 987, thanks for opening the door.
Floored.
That term is so telling. The moment you hear it you just know that something happened that took the wind out of you, or left you in shock and awe, dizzy with disbelief. Well last night I was so floored I ended up on the floor looking up at an iconic marquee with my name on it and it was all because of a friend. It took a few other friends to help get me there and boy were they slick, but this little crew of mine delivered.
To my friends who got me there, thank you for being you and dancing with me always. To the one whose epic birthday gift I will never forget or be able to top, I will devote every second I’ve got to figuring out a way to floor you.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned in my life this year is that the right people always find you when you make room for them in your life, and when you surround yourself with the right people, it’s magic all time.
So There’s This Song.
There’s this fucking song. It’s a sentence I hope you catch yourself repeating over and over throughout your life.
I hope songs find you in every corner of your existence and seduce every ounce of your senses. I hope you realize music is what points you toward your purpose. Without it, nothing makes sense, and even if it did, it would be stripped of color. The world would become a dull imitation of what it was meant to be.
I send people music constantly. It’s medicine. I prescribe it. My love language. My answer to everything.
Hardly anyone actually takes the time to listen.
But somewhere along the way, I seem to have gathered a small army of people who do. They trust that if I’m pushing a song, there’s probably something special hiding inside it.
They’re usually right.
Here’s what you need to understand about music, sometimes it’s looking for you. You just have to pay attention. But if it isn’t familiar, if it isn’t attached to an artist you already know, if you’re too distracted to give a song four goddamn minutes of your attention, then maybe you’re the kind of person who watches life from the sidelines instead of stepping into it.
Music turns the mundane into cinema. It locks memories inside a sonic vault for safekeeping. If you’re lucky, it makes you want to rip your clothes off and run straight into the ocean at night. It wakes something feral in people. It destroys the need for permission.
And not every song needs to be that deep. Sometimes it’s just a fucking banger. A banger is gratifying in its own way. That one is a physical gratification.
Somewhere out there, there’s a song looking for you.
I hope it finds you.
And maybe one day, you’ll find me and say, “So there’s this song…”
*Thank you @cmatbaby for finding me and thank you @carlyjams for always being right.
Jim Lindberg: Family First.
If you grew up in Southern California, you know Pennywise.
Not only do you know Pennywise, they helped raise you.
If you are a fan of punk rock, Pennywise is gospel. A gold standard. They are law.
They said everything you wanted to say, and they said it unapologetically from the bottom of their guts. They still do.
They are not a band you are merely into. They become part of you.
They have never been afraid of opposition. They have never forgotten who they are or where they came from.
Meeting your heroes can go either way. They either validate your years of devotion, or they disappoint you in ways that leave you questioning your own judgment.
I met Jim Lindberg and @_pennywise over 23 years ago. We have been friends ever since, and I can confidently say my admiration for him has only grown stronger through the years, as has our friendship.
There are so many layers to Jim. That is what makes him so qualified to carry the torch for this community.
He has never considered life in any limited way. He is fearless and loyal. He is hardworking, driven by integrity, and humble enough to remain a student of the universe.
If this man and this band have meant anything to you, I can tell you this, they deserve it. I will shout it from the mountaintops forever.
There is more to a legend than the title.
Jim, my friend, you are an icon for all the obvious reasons, but the way you stand for family is the reason I will always admire you most.
Everybody Wants To.
Everybody wants to be happy. Everybody wants a good life, wants things easy, things to go their way, someone to love them, people around that make them laugh. Everybody wants everything. No one sees it when everything is already there.
I am guilty of taking things for granted. It’s one of our most human flaws, and quietly, one of our deepest regrets. Sometimes having enough is having it all. Sometimes wanting more cancels out what’s already there. You miss the point.
My life is in a complete state of chaos right now and it could be very easy for me to look at it and start naming all the things I don’t have at the moment. But I would be wrong. I have it all.
My home is under construction so I’ve been living at a friend’s house, out of bins and suitcases, trying to adjust to a new job, new people, and an entirely new life. My creature comforts are inaccessible. My routine has been rattled to the core. But still, I have everything. My sanity has bad reception at the moment, but every once in a while it locks in.
I have free will, my health, although boy do I like to test those limits…I digress; I have interesting people all around me, music that never stops, opportunities that never cease, and I have my tireless and inexhaustible spirit that somehow always lands me in the most curious, fascinating, iconic, and unforgettable places.
I keep forgetting that having enough is having everything. Anything past that isn’t a luxury, it’s a distraction.
Everybody wants to. Turns out, I already do, I just keep forgetting.
Alt 98.7: The Net.
Last year I took a leap of faith and left my old job of 23 years. For as hard as you might think it was, it was actually quite simple. I was unhappy and I wanted my story to be more than that chapter. I had more to give and nowhere to put it. I decided I wanted to bet on myself, finally.
So I did.
They say jump and the net will appear. It didn’t at first. I would say I was in a state of free fall for a good 5 months. It was terrifying. It was fucking amazing. For the first time in as long as I could remember I was feeling like myself again. It was like someone finally opened a window and let the light in. I was free to do whatever I wanted. Was it safe? No. Was it exactly what I needed? Yes.
After months of living in a state of untethered existence, the path started to appear. First it was @consequencedaily that gave me a spark, then came @alt987fm .
I’ve been there for 2 months. It didn’t take long for me to feel at ease. The love you all have shown me and the generous words you have offered me, on top of the endless encouragement and bottomless faith you have in me, that became the path. I am following the love. The love from LA, the love from all the listeners, my people, and the love I have for music, and what I do.
I am very proud of the 23 years I spent at a legendary station, but now it’s my turn to be legendary.
@alt987fm is really special. I want to deliver for them. I want to rise to every occasion and I will. It’s what they deserve. They make me better.
To answer the only question that matters, yes, I am happy. I’m happy in a way I wasn’t and hadn’t been for a long time. I’m happy with the team I work with, the opportunities I’m being given, and I’m happy every time I put my headphones on at 10am and turn on the mic.
To me, life can’t be just one thing. I need all of it. So you see, taking that leap of faith was the only move I could make. I didn’t know if that net would appear, I guess that says a lot about how important my life is to me. When you are willing to risk it all because you know you can do better, jump.
And If The Sun Refused To Shine…
Life is a wild, wild ride. Not everyone knows how to make it to the end. That’s not even the point. What matters is what happens while you’re on it. What matters is who you are on it with.
You don’t always know who is who or what is what, in fact, you’ll spend most of your life in the wrong company trying to figure it all out.
Then one day, if you’re lucky, if you pay attention to the things you want, the energy that feels right, and the people that make everything feel like Christmas morning, the ride goes from terrifying to exhilarating.
I never know where life is going to take me. I never know who is going to show up and who isn’t. What I do know, is that I found some people I love to ride with. Sometimes, it’s just as simple as that.
See You In The Desert.
I’ve been going to Coachella for 23 years. I’ve lived every version of myself on those polo fields. I’ve danced my sun-kissed cheeks and scuffed up combat boots through every tent, and crawled home each night burnt, glowing, made of stardust and dirt.
I don’t know why I’m not in the Guinness Book of Records for the shit I’ve pulled.
The reason we go back isn’t always for the scene or even the bands. We go back for us. We go back because when you do it right, when you do it with your people, the stories you carry home stay lit inside you for the rest of your life. At least the ones you can remember. But even the forgotten ones get buried in sacred places.
We go back for us. We go back for each other. We got back for magic hour. And yes, there is music, and the more you go, the more it follows you home.
Every hour spent in the desert becomes a lifetime of reasons to do it again and again. Not just the desert, the part where you run wild like the animals we were born to be.
Let’s go. It’s time. Let’s get poetic. Let’s get cinematic. Let’s be heathens. Ask no permission. Do it all with no intention of apologizing for it.
So calling all my wildlings, let’s go get lost again. Let’s go back, one more time. 🎡✨
See you in the desert.
A bon vivant doesn’t chase pleasure, she recognizes it and refuses to walk past.
Thank you to @casianoadrianna for this beautiful photo shoot. Thank you for letting me play, dance, dress up, and simply myself.
Thank you for allowing me to see myself with loving eyes and a proud heart. Thanks for helping me embrace the lunacy that pours out of me.
Thank you for inspiring the last song we played today. You know which one. You know it all too well.
Bad Ass.
Not beautiful, not smart, not funny, not successful, not lovely, not charismatic, not even strong. Bad ass.
I’ve never wanted to be anything else. Everything else feels like the same recycled currency, too much of the same shit and not enough of the good stuff.
I don’t want traits or advantages or labels someone else decided were worth chasing. I want one thing. Bad ass.
Bad asses don’t make rules, and they don’t follow them either. They live by their own code and expect the same from everyone else, and then they expect to be left the hell alone with it.
They don’t care what people think or expect or imagine. They care about what’s theirs, and that includes their opinions.
Being a bad ass is the goal. It’s a state of mind, a devilish grin, mischief, a little danger. It’s sharp edges that don’t apologize for cutting.
It’s a kick to the door, a quiet sense of self, a graceful instinct for survival, a selfless act no one sees.
It’s liberation. A dance. An engine roaring. A flick of the finger. A lit match. An unexpected move. A kind of nonchalance you can’t fake.
It’s I got you. It’s ride into the sunset. It’s the best part of the song and knowing exactly when to leave.
To live freely in your own reality without the weight of other people’s bullshit, or even your own, that’s it. That’s bad ass.
Not everyone gets there, but everyone knows one.
That’s the dream.
And every day, in some small, undeniable way, I find a way to rebel just a tiny innocent bit. You know, just enough to keep me honest.
Lately.
Lately I don’t take things too seriously. I only take myself where the perspective is better.
Lately I don’t think about the past too much. When I do, it’s with residual clarity. The clear truth that remains when an experience is over. I understand what I needed to learn.
Lately nothing consumes my mind. I’ve found a way to rise above ego and let presence take over.
Lately I find everything a little ridiculous. Lately, everything is.
Lately I reach up instead of out.
Lately, if I slip, it’s temporary. I get over it real quick.
Lately nothing personal feels like the end of the world. The world itself has assumed that role.
Lately mistakes feel like a drunk friend having a clumsy moment. I don’t get mad at myself for making them. I smile knowing the mistake itself is probably embarrassed and I give it the grace to sober up by morning.
Lately I feel like a wise old soul who’s seen enough to know better.
Lately I wonder less and wander more. I rely on whimsy to keep me sane. No one knows how to frolic through chaos quite like a Bohemian witnessing the end of times.
Lately I know when to let go, be done, move forward, and stand still.
Lately nothing feels like a fight. I found where the water flows, and I let it carry me.
Lately I don’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks or assumes, even less than I did before. Antagonism bores me.
Lately I’m aware of the ticking clock. It’s getting faster. It waits for no one.
Lately time isn’t the enemy. It’s my muse.
Lately, is all that matters right now.
