julia marie

wherever you go there you are 🔄

in my dream home the doors never need to be locked and the windows are always open. the hallways are draped with pale floral wallpaper and old brass sconces. in the fridge there are fresh strawberries and cucumbers and herbs from my garden out back. the dirt is a rich dark brown and soft enough for the most perfect mud pie. in my dream home none of the mirrors reflect my face, just my feelings. each bed has a different metal frame, each set of sheets different from the last. there are probably nine bedrooms in hopes that people will come stay with me and nine cats for when people say they can’t. june, sunday, tex, lily, christopher … i’ll figure out the rest of the names later. in my dream home my pantry is stocked with every snack i haven’t had since i was little and every snack i love to make now. sweet gherkin pickles and sugary cereals and green apples and chocolate muffins and things like that. i make my own pasta sauce and have a perfect glass of wine to match every time. not because i like drinking but because it makes the late night cigarette on my porch that much sweeter. in my dream home one single pink phone hangs on the wall because i finally threw my cellphone into the lake across the street. the home phone has a curly coil that barely touches the ground and chimes three times before reaching my voicemail. i really hope people leave voicemails. in my dream home there are always the perfect amount of candles lit and the wind puts them out for me at night when i fall asleep on the couch watching gameshow tv. when i wake up the light reaching into my dream house will be the babiest of blues, maybe with a soft fog that will burn off by noon. in my dream home there is a pile of never ending laundry filled with lace and soft cotton and paint stained denim. in my dream home the fridge sometimes breaks, the cable often goes out, the water isn’t always warm. this is only here because i just simply cannot know absolutely everything there is to know about a dream house and it gives me an excuse to walk to my neighbors. they always help and i always return the favor with flowers or brownies or a watchful eye over their dog. continued below 𓉞

today i am 27 and the most myself i’ve ever been i am 11 and going to the texas state fair i am 20 and falling asleep on a bunk bed in china i am 8 going to ballet class every thursday after school i am 24 and dying my hair red while it snows i am 16 and failing algebra for the second time i am 19 and living in paris sneaking into parties i am 13 and cutting all my hair off i am 15 and scrolling tumblr in my bedroom i am 21 and looking at my photos in magazines i am 6 and storing bugs in a box under my bed i am 25 and trying new foods in tokyo i am 14 and really really really angry i am 9 and sorting flowers by color and shape i am 18 and having so much fun i am 12 and packing my hello kitty lunchbox i am 17 and going to a high school in seattle i am 10 and getting lost on the vegas strip i am 22 and going nowhere for an entire year i am 26 and keeping a really big secret i am 7 and going to church every sunday i am 23 and shooting rifles on the family farm i am and i am and i am and i am <3

all this? and heaven too?

in my dreams i’m dying all the time 🐇💡🤍

telling all my secrets to the dust and the dirt, holding my ear to the earth, sometimes when i exhale i accidentally say the truth, sometimes when i’m running i run until it hurts, holding my traits like tickets to a sold out show, throwing out the pain that bites at my feet, it turns into a dance and my steps into a song, sorry, i wasn’t listening, i was too busy catching every single thing you didn’t say, i remember sifting the sand into piles, marking the castle with a red leaf poked through a twig, isn’t it the same now? still? isn’t the heaven i was promised in text actually a song? a stranger? a still moment? what i make out of sticks? isn’t heaven with the termites and between the broken windows and outside of the liquor store? there is nothing here except for the opportunity to change over and over again, i’ve looked, under every stone and collapsed roof, last week i said hello to my school grade friend, her head still stuck in the mud, i left her with a brown bag filled with snacks anyways, she said i still can’t keep from running, i made myself a promise that i broke, no one knows but me and the wind that turns into a breeze, no one knows but my dad when he calls me, i’m sitting in the bath sick as a dog, when i sweat i imagine the water turning to wine, a dark deep red wine, when i sing the bubbles grow tenfold, i am making things up as often as i am falling for a trick, looking upwards while i spiral, trying to let go of what keeps me numb, trying to hold on to what feels honest, still i believe everyone anyways, i believe you anyways, when you speak to me i look into your eyes, that’s something i carry with me intentionally, thats something i learned, same as telling my secrets to the dirt, same as believing that change must hurt, and oh my god it hurts, it hurts, the truth hurts and then it’ll set you free, that’s the only promise i can keep, the only promise you’ll ever need💡🐇🤍

meow 🐾🐾🐾

i never feel more beautiful than when i am wearing clothes from my own wardrobe in the middle of absolutely nowhere, i feel like i can breathe and stretch and scream, i feel so myself when i’m alone, like a whisper or the wind🪽this year marks 10 years of going out into nowhere with @myfridayfilms <3 the only person who captures Me as i truly see myself, thank you <3

here is every beautiful thing from my 2025 screenshots folder 📁 🪽🤍 yes, i promise to use the voids in my life as an opportunity to create comfort and beauty yes, you can be so close to the answer and just because you keep getting it wrong doesn’t mean it’s not right there, you miss every word you don’t say or something like that yes, “i am the glass door filthy with the fingerprints of anyone who has ever touched my life even for an instant” a thousand times yes, i choose living, again and again and again :p cheers to you and your loved ones, may all the magic find you in the new year :3 love is where you find it 🕊️💡🧸🖇️

first few sleepy days in tokyo <3

prancing around the meadows of who i am & what i could be 🫧🎠💡🪞🗝️✨🤍🪶🐇 for @h_lorenzo shot by @katyshayne styled by @kaimankazazian <3

my dream job is to be a fly on the wall 🪰