Nella Aarne

I spend a lot of time stressing out about potentially looking unkempt so I try really hard to look really neat and when I’m nervous about a social situation I accidentally take it really far and suddenly I’m in a suit and then someone takes a photo of me and I ask myself: “Who is that?”

Top 3 of 2025 Life highlights 1. My very fortunate and privileged life feels like an increasingly accurate manifestation of my desire, encompassing love, home and meaningful connections. I am grateful for all that I have and for the work I’ve been able to do to help me get here. 2. There have been many moments when I consciously felt that I’d rather be nowhere else — while having breakfast, birdwatching, walking through the city, eating fries, drinking wine, sitting on the sofa, going to sleep. 3. It has dawned on me that while I may fantasise about a particular kind of experience of belonging in a community or having a place in the world, it’s not possible — not due to any foundational flaw of mine but, rather, due to my instinctual apprehension towards the very thing that I think I long for. Instead of sinking into recurring existential crises over this, I’m coming to terms with the fact that there is a different, better suited, more enjoyable way to be in the world and this, funnily enough, eases me into feeling that I can belong. Bird sightings 1. Long-tailed ducks, Lauttasaari 2. Eurasian penduline tit, Otaniemi 3. Long-eared owl(et)s, Seurasaari Texts that best responded to a need 1. Iida Rauma, Hävitys 2. Lysis 3. Dodie Bellamy, When the Sick Rule the World + Atte Koskinen reading his translation of William Wordsworth’s poem Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey, On Revisiting the Banks of the Wye during a Tour, July 13, 1798 Tracks on repeat 1. Janet Jackson, Together Again 2. Gilbert O’Sullivan, Alone Again (Naturally) 3. Paperi T, Sä tuut unohtuu Art 1. Trajal Harrell: Köln Concert, Sivuaskel 2. Euripides Laskaridis: Lapis Lazuli, & 3. Sandra Mujinga: Sløyfe, Den Frie Best moments of joyful decadence were facilitated by 1. Bona Fide (again) 2. Osteria dei Mancini 3. Cafelito/Vinolito (the epic Basque cheesecake) Best decisions 1. Moving flats 2. Upon recognising the limits of my capacity, handing something big over to the Other 3. Baking a polenta cake with orange and saffron (twice) •Continued in comments•

The desire of desire has really put the soundness of my mind to the test, as I’ve been pulled to enjoy and suffer the gap, the distance, the silence. Love and desire have revealed themselves as intertwined with absence and death, and the Text has emerged as the ultimate interface for channelling their most intense manifestations. The question is how to love without longing to burn in the intensity of absence. Now I’m supposed to take a break — from the thought, the reading, and the self-interpretation. Easier said than done, when theory, as opposed to life itself as praxis, lends itself to the best kind of flight into abstraction as absence.

A few weeks ago, I joined lots of other speakers at the Positioning symposium organised by Publics, and tried to answer a series of questions to position my thinking and practice. Here are a few snippets of me trying to explain what I think it means to choose life over some kind of death.

Ke 29.10. Klo 18:30 Ulrika, Leppäsuonkatu 11, Helsinki A-ryhmän lukupiiri jatkaa Mikhail Bakuninin tekstillä ‘Federalism, Socialism, Anti-theologism’, jossa hän muotoilee kumouksellisen visionsa uudenlaisesta yhteiskunnasta. Teksti on julkaistu versio puheesta, jonka Bakunin esitti Geneven rauhankongressissa vuonna 1867. Bakuninille ominaisesti teksti on keskeneräinen ja, otsikostaan huolimatta, kattaa vain federalismia ja sosialismia käsittelevät osuudet. Lukupiiri on kaikille avoin, ja kokoontumisten keskiössä on avoin keskustelu. Osallistuminen ei edellytä tekstien lukemista etukäteen, mutta materiaaliin tutustuminen ennakkoon tekee ajatusten vaihdosta antoisampaa. Halutessamme voimme lukea katkelmia tekstistä myös yhdessä. Jokainen voi osallistua itselleen luontevalla tavalla, sekä aktiivisesti keskustellen että kuunnellen. Tapaamisten ensisijainen kieli on suomi ja lukumateriaalit ovat englanniksi. Teksti on ladattavissa linkistä biossa. Voit ilmoittautua mukaan ja kysellä lisätietoja sähköpostitse: [email protected] Sisään Ulrikaan pääsee painamalla summeria ”Ulrika” ja odottamalla oven avaajan saapumista. Tila on esteetön ja sinne pääsee myös pyörätuolilla.

The Parliament House never looked this good.

A-ryhmän anarkokommunismilukupiiri kokoontuu ensimmäistä kertaa! Ke 8.10. Klo 18:00 Ulrika, Leppäsuonkatu 11 Lukupiirissä pureudutaan tutkija ja anarkisti Nick Heathin historiikkiin The Idea: Anarchist Communism: Past, Present and Future. Lukupiiri on kaikille avoin, ja kokoontumisten keskiössä on avoin keskustelu. Osallistuminen ei edellytä tekstien lukemista etukäteen, mutta materiaaliin tutustuminen ennakkoon tekee ajatusten vaihdosta antoisampaa. Halutessamme voimme lukea katkelmia tekstistä myös yhdessä. Jokainen voi osallistua itselleen luontevalla tavalla, sekä aktiivisesti keskustellen että kuunnellen. Tapaamisten ensisijainen kieli on suomi ja lukumateriaalit ovat englanniksi. Ensimmäisessä tapaamisessa keskitymme näihin lukuihin: • Foreword s. 17-22 • 4 Marx and Engels and the Communist Movement s. 63-76 • 5 Bakunin and the First International s. 77-82 Voit ilmoittautua ja pyytää lukumateriaalit sähköpostitse: [email protected] Kirjan voi halutessaan myös ostaa @mustankaninkolo sta! Sisään Ulrikaan pääsee painamalla summeria “Ulrika” ja odottamalla ovenavaajan saapumista. Tila on esteetön ja sinne pääsee myös pyörätuolilla.

This summer it dawned on me that reading anything too religiously risks turning something that was meant to be a site of emancipation from the Law into something Holy.

Kropotkin-lukupiiri jatkuu 23.7. samalla kuviolla, kuin aiemmilla kerroilla! Vaikka itse sanonkin, niin viimeks oltiin kyllä taatusti Hietsun kuumin rantajengi. Jos haluat vielä mukaan, laita viesti (DM tai oheiseen sähköpostiin), ja multa saa tarvittaessa linkin lukumatskuihin.

My love for birds balances out my hate for the government. It’s much needed at the moment, so I am grateful for the spring migration. I used to have RSPB membership in the UK but only just (finally) joined my new local birders’ association Tringa. Yesterday, I received my welcome package with bird-related magazines, membership leaflets and a beginner’s guide to birding. The birding guide was so delightfully written that I couldn’t read it without welling up. I was thinking of how much I would’ve loved it as a kid — this prospect of being able to see in real life all those birds that I had studied in a little paperback and tried to paint in watercolours. Last weekend, we were birding (mostly) in the rain around Naantali and Mynämäki. The water rail persistently refused to make an appearance but so many other beautiful little dudes were seen. Birds spotted: Harakka / Magpie Varis / Hooded crow Naakka / Jackdaw Varpunen / House sparrow Pikkuvarpunen / Tree sparrow Talitiainen / Great tit Sinitiainen / Blue tit Naurulokki / Black-headed gull Valkoposkihanhi / Barnacle goose Mustarastas / Blackbird Västäräkki / White wagtail Peippo / Chaffinch Pajusirkku / Reed bunting Kurki / Common crane Fasaani / Common pheasant Valkoviklo / Greenshank Punajalkaviklo / Redshank Suokukko / Ruff Taivaanvuohi / Common snipe Lapasorsa / Shoveler Sepelkyyhky / Wood pigeon Töyhtöhyyppä / Lapwing Tukkasotka / Tufted duck Isokoskelo / Goosander Tukkakoskelo / Red-breasted merganser Merikotka / White-tailed eagle Keltasirkku / Yellowhammer Meriharakka / Oystercatcher Merilokki / Great black-backed gull Räyskä / Caspian tern Telkkä / Common goldeneye Viherpeippo / Greenfinch Punarinta / Robin Kiuru / Skylark Kyhmyjoutsen / Mute swan Laulujoutsen / Whooper swan Metsähanhi / Bean goose Merimetso / Great cormorant Käpytikka / Great spotted woodpecker Nokikana / Coot Mustakurkku-uikku / Slavonian grebe Liejukana / Moorhen Tavi / Eurasian teal Sinisorsa / Mallard Kesykyyhky / Feral pigeon Hippiäinen / Goldcrest Birds heard: Peukaloinen / Eurasian wren Tiltaltti / Common chiffchaff Laulurastas / Song thrush Luhtakana / Water rail

Top 3 of 2024: Life highlights 1. Getting married 2. Getting to know more people in Helsinki despite the fact that I’m very awkward and shy 3. Every birding excursion and all those little moments of feeling free to do whatever I want Bird sightings 1. Bearded reedlings 2. Little stints, Temminck’s stints and curlew sandpipers (all at once!) 3. Eagle owls Films that best responded to a need 1. Unrest 2. The Zone of Interest 3. Bloodsuckers Tracks on repeat 1. Kuopus, Suku, suru jne. 2. Weyes Blood, It’s Not Just Me, It’s Everybody 3. Kendrick Lamar, Crown Art 1. Florentina Holzinger, Tanz 2. Teo Ala-Ruona, Parachorale 3. Archie Moore: kith and kin Best moments of joyful decadence were facilitated by 1. Bona Fide 2. Ateljé Finne 3. Osteria Anice Stellato + Harju8 Achievements 1. 25 new bird species on my life list 2. Getting through over 30 appointments with various healthcare services 3. Growing my professional confidence Best decisions 1. Getting a Christmas tree 2. Getting a Christmas tree 3. Getting a Christmas tree

I’ve never had a proper camera and these little wobbly clips through binoculars bring me so much joy. I love all the incidental half circles, colourful reflections, shaky blurs and hardly recognisable little blobs. Here we have a barn swallow, a common sandpiper, eiders and a Slavonian grebe.