While preparing for my set for the first GAYBAR party this weekend, I took some time to reflect on what it felt like the first time that I went to a gay bar.
I didn’t grow up thinking I could dance. I had this idea that dancing had rules that I didn’t know how to follow- I didn’t know any “good moves”. Dancing was only for boys who knew how to look cool doing it. And like so many other queer people, I had developed this feeling that everyone else was always watching me, ready to see through my disguise. In short, dancing made me feel seen in a way that was uncomfortable for a long time. But that had nothing to do with the act of actually dancing.
Coming out to my friends and family, and then moving to Amsterdam in my 20s brought so many opportunities for me to unpack and redefine my relationship with dance and myself. And that year, dancing became an integral part of my healing.
The first night my friends took me out to Club Nyx was a revelation. I distinctly remember the feeling of letting go and letting my body move to Whitney Houston’s “Dance With Somebody” for the first time without reservation, while a room full of joyful, unapologetic, and unafraid men of all ages and shapes and sizes belted out the words together. It was ecstasy. It was community. It was affirmation.
Dance is at the heart of this community I’ve found. And it meant the absolute world to me to share a night like this with the family I’ve found in Victoria, in a way that I never imagined was possible when I was growing up.
Thank you to everyone who was there on Friday sharing this moment together.
Thank you @theonlygaybar , @reishidevil for producing this event. Thank you to the valentine of my life @alejocrojas for your unconditional love and support. And thank you to all of the many beautiful souls from the mollusk nation! This was medicine.
The first GAYBAR was such a huge (not to mention sold out) success! 🌈❤️🪩
It was such a huge honour to share the night with these insanely talented DJs. And it was amazing to see how the community showed up and brought the heat! Big love!
