I used to think I had few friends because I didnāt have people that I told my deepest secrets to.
I see friendship a bit differently now. I donāt think itās really necessary to disclose your traumas in order to be a close friend, although I am pretty open about that. I sort of feel friendships in my body now - dancing, touching arms and hands, having a coffee or a meal together, waving across the street. Sometimes I make friends like this through osmosis - even if I donāt know their darkest personal histories.
What Iām saying is, if we smile at each other and feel a mutual fondness, I consider us friends. I donāt make the rules.
I donāt know if Iāll ever figure out how to dress my age because if I see a shirt with a cute character or little fruits or whatever on it I am putting it on my body expeditiously
Crisis of masculinity thisā¦male loneliness epidemic that. Blah blahā¦.When I think about masculinity, I just think of this sense memory from my childhood. As a young teen I was an equestrian. One winter afternoon in the stables, the farrier was in working on the horsesā feet. An older, grizzled grey man. I was freezing, swaddling myself in a horse blanket. He noticed and gave me his jacket. It was worn and heavy, and soaked with the smell of hot iron and smoke. Thereās a lot wrapped up in that- working class, an unpretentious chivalry, care for animalsā¦yeah.
