My father left us on January 24th, to be at my mother’s side again. This proud Irishman was the life of the party, a devoted husband, and a father who showed up for his kids throughout our entire lives. It never escaped me how lucky I am that this traditional, bluegrass-loving, banjo-playing, John Wayne-admiring Catholic lector always supported his weird, basketball-player-turned-theater-kid-turned-film-major-turned-gay-film-programmer son 100% with no hesitation. Rest well, dad, you’ve left behind a beautiful legacy.
Early yesterday, Sunday morning, Mothers Day, we lost one of the all-time great mothers.
My mother spent her life caring for others, making sure to stay in touch with every corner of our massive extended family, sharing in their worries with them and joyfully celebrating their happy moments. Every phone call I had with her devoted at least 30 minutes of reporting on everything going on in the lives of my siblings, nieces and nephews, cousins, aunts and uncles and even more relatives I didn’t even know I had. And though her big heart and her kindness were always recognized, she always worried that she could be doing more, always hoped people knew how much she cared.
People knew. Throughout my life, people would stop me to make sure I knew what a wonderful mother I had. From high school teachers to her church friends to distant relatives. She touched so many lives. For me, I was always amazed at how she could pick up on microscopic changes in my behavior - whether in person or on the phone - that signaled something might be up that I needed to talk about. She never stopped mothering, even after I grew to an age where I sometimes thought I no longer needed to be mothered. And she was patient with me until I realized that I did. I love you, Mom.
On Wednesday, May 14, we’ll celebrate her life and say goodbye:
St. John Fisher Church
4225 Chichester Ave
Boothwyn, PA 19061
Visitation: 9am - 11am
Funeral Mass: 11am
20 years ago today, I arrived in Los Angeles with no job and a trunkful of my most cherished VHS tapes (which could still feasibly be played on a readily available VCR).
I haven’t accumulated much more in the way of stuff, but I’m happier, grayer, gayer, and paired up with a special Valentine. I love this city and the people who’ve helped to make it my home. Happy Valentine’s Day, all!
The first David Lynch film I saw was BLUE VELVET, on a VHS tape in my freshman year college dorm room. It had me trembling, terrified, in awe. Since then, every experience with his work has been a gift, filled with imagery that’s burned into my memory, moments overflowing with emotion, musicality, terror, hope.
Very few artists have inspired me as much, none have ever matched what he could do. RIP to one of the all-time greats.
Today @mike_dockertee and I said good bye to our Baby Boy, our Stormisha, our Stormo, our Stormy Weiners. This dog put us through it but it was worth every minute. He was a derp, a spaz, a true walking buddy and a total snuggle bug. We’ve taken so many steps together (even when he was on wheels) and I’m so sad we won’t be taking any more. Thanks you @rescuefromthehart for bringing this precious boy into our lives and thank you Hearts and Halos for giving him such a a peaceful sendoff.
Today we said goodbye to Stormy. Four years ago we brought this beautiful, affectionate, pain in the butt into our home and had so much love for him, even when he broke windows, gorged on chocolate, and barked at old ladies. He’s had a rough road in the last year, but the end was quiet and peaceful. We’re so grateful for the time we had with him, and so glad so many friends got to know him too. Send a good thought our way. ❤️❤️❤️
It’s so odd to have to say this, but very sad to report that I and all other Outfest staffers have been let go from the organization. An org that helped me find my people in Los Angeles over 20 years ago. The org I specifically worked toward landing a job at when I realized film curation was the passion I wanted to pursue. It’s unfathomable that the org’s 40+ year history has lead here.
I don’t know what the future has in store, honestly. I hope the org with its urgent and important mission find its footing again and gets back on the right path. I’m feeling plenty of emotions and they don’t all belong on this post.
I’ve been so lucky to work with so many gifted programmers and advocates for queer artists, I’ve been honored to meet those brilliant artists and share their work with wonderful audiences, and I’ve made such incredible friends around the world because of this job. Love to you all.
And to our industry friends: lots of super talented queer and trans workers looking for jobs right now, reach out with opportunities and I’ll point you to them.
Instagram stories are impermanent, so I needed to shift this message to the grid.
As a senior staff member of Outfest, I 100% wholeheartedly support the unionizing efforts of @queerfilmunited . The concerns and goals outlined in their mission statement absolutely reflect my own. The members of QFU are the backbone of Outfest, and represent such admirable passion and commitment to serving LGBTQIA+ artists and audiences, and they deserve to work in an environment that healthily supports their valuable efforts.
Working in the non-profit sector is challenging on the best of days, but an ever-renewable source of joy is working with bright, inspired, dedicated colleagues like Gabi Grossman, Daniel Crooke, Hansen Bursic, Alex Gootter, and Martine McDonald. I’m devastated to lose them from the team. “Irreplaceable” doesn’t begin to cover it. I’m ever hopeful there’s a way back to repairing what we’ve lost, but I recognize this moment right now feels brutal and uncertain, I hope everyone will continue to lend their support to them, and to the QFU members still on staff at Outfest.
