Happy 40th birthday @gab.deliberating . I know you hate your birthday, but I love you so too bad.
1) Rockaberry St Leo 🤣 16 years ago
2) Skype call while I was at U of T and you were writing the bar in Montreal
3) Summer 2010...I think
4) A good father keeping the siblings together
5) August 2025, one of the last days you felt normal 🥹
You have always been exceptional, but for the last 9 months I have watched you do the impossible. You would have been well within your rights not to answer an email, deny a request for a favor, forget one birthday message-- but you did it all... And more. You hold the bar of human decency so high. You're the guy who had just been hospitalized for a mystery illness but ran around town to find a piece to fix my Nonna's heating on the Friday before Thanksgiving weekend. You're the guy who ran into the street with a blanket when our neighbor's dog was hit by a car. And yeah, you were just named one of Canada's top litigators under 40-- but no one needs to tell me how good you are at arguing 🤪
See you at bedtime 💤😴
The fun part of working on a new piece from a prompt about memory and legacy is that the writing is alive. Every day is a potential entry. I can document the past and the present under the same thematic umbrella. My feeling is that these are meant to be performed (yeah, shocker, I know). When I was selected for the project my biggest question was, "how will you integrate a playwright/performer into a traveling visual exhibit?" Now we have some ideas...
And this? A little 10pm addition on Mother's Day
#womenwhowrite #montrealwriter #diaspora #mothersday
Thanks to Giuliana @drgc22 and @ajmakesthings for the oasis in the storm of my life. It's invigorating to still feel creative amid so many constraints. Being asked about my work, my process, my background and my ideas is a reminder of who I am fundamentally. I have always created from love and for a new definition of legacy.
This project, co-curated by Giuliana Cucinelli and @terruscito , features 13 Italian-Canadian artists of different disciplines creating work from the prompts they gave us.
There will be a vernissage on May 22nd at 7pm at @ldv_centre , then the Fiuggi Expo, then @semaineitaliennemtl -- and beyond!
I wasn't expecting it, and it's saying a lot coming from me, but I think I've written some of my most deeply personal work with the support of this project. I am eager to share it in Montreal on May 22nd and in Fiuggi in June. This might be the seed of something bigger. Memory, legacy, inheritance, genetics: all these have been strong themes in my personal life for the last year. For all the grief, there is art. There is always art.
#womenwhowrite #montrealwriter #playwright #performer #diaspora
2 anni di Vita 🩷
2 years of Vita 🌸
You defy everything, sweet one. You exceed your elders, you teach your carers and you have no betters. Your empathy, your intelligence, your comprehension: limitless. Your manners, your gratitude, your sense of humor: ageless.
We are all better for loving you. It's impossible not to have been changed by the force of you. By your insistence. I never thought a head harder than mine existed, then I met your father. I didn't think it was possible to be more stubborn than him, and now there is you.
I'm typing this as you nap away a fever. Right before the nap, you refused to put your pajama pants on and I kept trying to convince you. I said, "perché non ascolti la mamma?" And you said, "Mamma non ascolta Vita. Non voglio pantaloni." I said you were right. That we should both listen to one another. Listening is not a one-way street. I compromised by covering you with a blanket. And you drifted off to sleep.
Buon compleanno Vita Liana Di Cesare 💝🎂
This is where the Insta wordcount cut me off yesterday. I wanted to take a moment to get to the point I was trying to make: toddler moms around you most likely need a hand.
Even without all the extra complications in my life, I think it's an important reminder that the second year postpartum isn't magically better for moms. It has so many more hurdles: the return to work, separation from our baby, societal expectations outside of the cocoon of that first year and the standard accepted grace period we give moms. And yeah, we're lucky to live in a country where that grace period isn't only 6 weeks. I can't imagine.
This second year taught me about myself. The lessons came fast and hard from beginning to end. I realized that while in survival mode, I defaulted to my old habits of people-pleasing and conflict avoidance because I simply lacked the bandwidth to rock the boat. I thought that by keeping everyone around me happy and non-reactive, I could avoid yet another destabilizing surprise. I have always been a fixer. Unfortunately, I think this pattern coupled with my particular coping mechanism of extremely high executive functioning painted me as a person who could keep giving, even though I had long been running on empty.
Years ago, for my 30th birthday, one of my dear friends gifted me an Akashic reading. I was so put off by the insistence of the practitioner that I needed to learn "caring is not carrying." She cautioned me repeatedly during a one-hour reading that my way of caring for others is to take on their deficiencies, to carry their "shit," and to do for them the things that come easily to me as if there's no cost to myself. Yeah, I was really defensive and upset about that at the time. But I get it now. Leading up to my daughter's second birthday, I realized that whatever is taken from me energetically is also taken from her (and from two other humans and a gorgeous little dog who need me).
Vita's birthday gift will be a mom who can better protect herself. And probably a pink bicycle because she has asked for one every day for the last two months. 🚲🩷
In exactly one week, my second year postpartum will be over. I haven't had the luxury of time to ruminate on it extensively. It's been a year of constantly moving goalposts, radical acceptance and learning not to say, "It can't get any worse."
I started the year pouring everything I had into a theatre piece—literal blood, sweat and tears-- and received the psychological equivalent of a backhanded slap by the end of it. Fortunately/unfortunately I couldn't wallow in the thankless-theatre-trauma swamp for long because a few short weeks after the show closed, Mom's cancer was back. I reverted to being the type A micromanager of an aggressive stage IV disease, but this time I was also a new mom. This time around, my mother's survival was existentially linked to my own because I was NOT going to do this without her. Not a chance. So my battlefield moved from the Mirella and Lino Saputo theatre to the Mirella and Lino Saputo atrium at Maisonneuve Rosemont hospital. Even at the bleakest moment, I didn't take no for an answer and after months of perseverance, I got the treatment protocol I knew she needed.
But then in the Fall Gab got sick. Really sick. If I wasn't at the hospital with Mom for her treatments, I was with him. His condition was a mystery, like an episode of Dr. House. By November, his doctors were looking for cancer and I was so numb to the idea because, at this point, why not? Eventually, doctors diagnosed him with a rare genetic autoinflammatory condition. It's thankfully not cancer, but it's permanent and debilitating during a flare-up. As new parents in survival mode, the scales dip considerably if one of you becomes suddenly disabled. It was yet another hurdle in what already felt like a three-legged race.
So, a sick mom, a sick husband, a toddler, and a crumbling geopolitical situation pointing to a bleak and uncertain future? Yeah, this year was hard. I want to thank those of you who showed up: the food delivered, the Uber giftcards, the dog walks, the "I'm coming by to play with Vita so you can shower" folks. I will never forget what those lifelines felt like this year.
Apparently I've reached the word limit. More to come as I process 💓
Baby boy! Lately Vita whispers this to herself when she's falling asleep because she hears me call you that a million times a day. You're 12 years old today, but I'll keep calling you baby boy #furever.
We promised ourselves when Vita was born to keep giving you everything you had grown used to for 5 years. And I think we did for a while. But this Fall we fell short. Papa was not well, Nonna was not well and mamma was pulled in every direction. You got less walks, less family time and less gifts (I forgot your Advent calendar for the first time this year 😔). Through it all, you have remained the best cuddle buddy, the cutest sleeper and a very patient big brother.
And that last part really is important for me to acknowledge. Since #jlaw recently threw her Chihuahua under the bus very publicly let me just say: it's not a dog's responsibility to keep a baby safe. It's the parents'. It's unfortunate to re-home dogs for extremely avoidable occurrences with small children.
Even though it's not your job to keep Vita safe, you seem to have accepted the task. "Giacomo abbaia vicino di casa" is another catchphrase these days. I feel better knowing you'll never let a stranger near her on a walk. And you're playing more than ever! At 12, you're acting like the puppy we never got to know. Vita thinks you're only "uno anno" and she's your big sister.
We love you Giacomo. We promise more walks, cuddles and gifts are coming your way this year.
#rescuedog #adoptdontshop #italiangreyhoundlove
With a child depending on you, New Year's health resolutions become less about yourself and more about the immense responsibility you feel to stay alive. For me anyway. Maybe that's a symptom of my anxiety.
Anyway, I started off the year moving forward with my gynecologist's suggestion to insert a progesterone IUD. Studies have shown that progesterone IUDs lower the risk of endometrial cancer by 33%, ovarian cancer by up to 14% and a modest protection against cervical cancer. With my mother's aggressive form of uterine cancer and a family history of cervical cancer, this choice for protection was a no-brainer. Even though I had been appreciating rediscovering my natural cycle postpartum-- I was on combined oral contraceptives since I was a teenager right up until pregnancy due to extremely heavy and painful periods-- I couldn't ignore what minimizing my risk meant for my daughter's future.
I am sharing to urge the women in my feed to look out for their own gynecological health. In Canada, gynecological cancer is still under-researched and underfunded compared to prostate cancer despite gynecologic cancers having a far worse prognosis. I'll give you one guess as to why.
Patriarchy aside, here's what we can do:
-Make sure your daughters are on the HPV vaccine schedule
-If you have a family history of breast/ovarian/endometrial cancer, look into genetic testing for the BRCA and other genes (a genetic counselor can help determine which).
-Don't miss self breast exams, gynecology appointments and PAP tests!
-Stay vigilant around changes in your cycle and bring up any post-menopausal bleeding to your gyno
-Advocate for yourself and your loved ones if you feel like anything is off. Gynecologic cancers can progress symptom-free and have a tendency to be diagnosed late
There is no foundation for endometrial cancer in Canada, so consider a donation to @ovariancancercanada who are tremendous allies to all gynecologic cancer patients and their caregivers. They helped me out this Fall as I was trying to access a drug for my mamma.
We got this. New year, new U-terus 😂💪🏽
#uterinecancerawareness #endometrialcancer #womenshealth #gynecology #prevention
What do you do when your ancestry search leads you not to fabulous recipes or noble relatives in luxury villas, but to a woman condemned as an outlaw?
@michamusing is a playwright, author and actor (yes with an @imdb page)
so it makes perfect sense that rather than keep this bit of history tucked away neatly where it could remain for her eyes only, she’d write and perform in a play about the story of Michelina Di Cesare, the woman who opposed Garibaldi’s unification plans for Italy.
Discover this exceptional piece of Italian history that rarely reaches the water cooler
read the full article via the link in bio and uncover why Michaela brings this hidden history to life in Mickey & Joe, and the powerful message behind her performance.
Ad the founder of @italus.patrimonio an initiative dedicated to regenerating southern Italy’s culture heritage and territory through its international patrimony, I am so immensly impressed by the art skills and tenacity of our custodians - the next generation, who are carrying forward our heritage with respect and incessant passion to bridge generations.
It’s our duty to give our next generation a stage, and I’m honored to be the one to give them a safe space to share their remarkable work.
Michaela, I am in complete awe at your tenacity to learn the truth and share it respectfully for the love of your culture and ancestral heritage.
and a huge GRAZIE to
@hardcorecalabrese
for sharing this love and passion with us.
🤍🤍🤍
#italianheritage #italus #italianculture #italiandiaspora #italianhistory
We cover Vita's face for privacy, but it serves another purpose because she looks PISSED in all these photos 🤣
@piccolino_giacomino is forever the professional 🐶⭐
We've had a rough Fall but we're still finding sugar, spice and everything nice this holiday season 🍬🍪
