“Of course
I would find you.
Of course
You would find me, too.
We’re alchemy.” - @johnnyswim
I say, let’s keep going.
Making.
Remaking.
Battling / Dreaming / Reaching for more.
Happy Anniversary @blainehogan
Stoic photo by Eloise Pearl
Motherhood continues to invite me forward 💜 As I stretch for ongoing integrity and repair in my home, I find it’s easier in other areas of my life.
May you find the courage, willingness, support and gentleness to show up and face your life in real time, repairing as you are able.
For anyone feeling stuck—
After our first daughter was born, and I battled through a season of postpartum depression, one of the lies that kept me feeling stuck was that this new version of me was my new forever. As months passed, I believed that everything that was going to happen had already happened. I felt stuck in a reality that was immovable.
But, of course, everything was still unfolding.
I simply couldn’t see it / feel it / believe it in real time.
In the middle of it all, the sad, paranoid, zoned out, anxious me felt final. And final, felt heavy. Like a curse.
But somehow, through tiny lifelines of hope and therapy and ice cold water and The Office reruns and a few good friends and the connection of nursing my girl and long (forced) walks and so many small mercies, time was able to unfold. The knot of intensity loosened. And the story shifted and I shifted.
And I learned that no matter the actual circumstances, when it looks or feels like everything that could possibly happen has already happened and you are facing something immovable : WAIT. BREATHE. MOVE YOUR BODY. BREATHE. ASK FOR HELP. BREATHE.
New things will happen.
The story is still in process.
Time continues to unfold.
Let it.
44
If I didn’t know better And who knows anything, really
I would say thank you
Thank you
It’s a good gift to be alive
Even if the world is a mess It is
And even when things are a bit out of sorts Tangled necklaces are still necklaces, after all
It all belongs
And it’s still a really good gift to be alive
Boisterous voices singing songs all over my house
Black beans cooking on the stove top
The Georgia heat pressing down
A cinnamon-y oatmeal cream pie, delivered, unexpectedly
Partysparklecelebrate in the eyes looking back at me
If I didn’t know better Thankfully, I don’t
I’d say, what more, really, can a girl want
44, I’ll do my best 💜
There are a lot of reasons I love you; a lot of reasons I’m glad we said yes to a life of making together. But you as a dad is the tippy top of the list. You have made three girls feel that their curiosity is a gift, their strength should be celebrated and their worth is already decided. How lucky they are to be raised by a man who has apprenticed himself to his daughters. A love like that changes futures! Happy a Father’s Day @blainehogan
8th Grade Dance
A Haiku
Time sprints now. Striking.
Twirls, laughs, mascara, black dress
Stories unfolding.
— how lucky to end the night with my 14 year old asking to watch “just one episode of I Love Lucy” together. 💜
Once again
Spring in The South reminds me
It’s okay to change your mind
It’s okay to pick up and try something new
It’s okay to chose warmth
It’s okay to plant yourself where spring arrives sooner
Even irritating pollen is fleeting
And what blooms in this soil is worth it
The practice after the practice
The real practice
This has become a sort of ritual
The laughing, sprinting, crashing, toppling, yelling that you only do when it’s sister v sister
This is when I see
Who they really are
What they really know
What they can really do
They aren’t over thinking, performing or worrying
They are all instinct and fun
Sweat and scrapes and giggles and big moves and monster kicks, just chasing down the light
They are so fast and ferocious and funny and feral when they feel free
What a gift these girls offer each other
Yes, you can have five more minutes. Again.
Yes, you can keep playing.
Please keep playing.
These are the practices that will save you.
