mary Tierney

Being a young widow is shite! You were an absolute pain in my arse Tierney. But it was so worth it. Happy anniversary…Until forever remembers us.x 🤍🐝 Also, so happy I found a video of him dancing. I didn’t think I had one. Just a nice reminder of one of our many running jokes. #17 #ustwo #grief #griefjourney #youngwidow

Time. I’ve taken some thoughts that have been living rent free in my head lately and put them to use over on my substack. Link in Bio🧡 There’s an emotional irony in that people seem to identify grief as something that gets easier with time. Well! Let’s just start by saying that’s a load of shite! That’s not to say that I haven’t taken this hand I have been so bizarrely dealt by the proverbial set of balls and carried on. But to carry on doesn’t translate to living a full and happy life, it simply means you carry on. I have every hope that I will build something wonderful again in this life, it will happen. I will start to live when I stop being led by the passing of time. On any given day. Grief will take you wherever she wants. In the space between where reason hesitates and uncertainty navigates, trust your heart. x If you haven’t already please subscribe. I’d love for you to read this piece, comment and share some thoughts of your own. Link in Bio x

Doing the things that make it a little easier, with the ones who make me smile xxx

I only just realised this is 4 years ago today🤍 4 years! How can a year slip through my hands now like sand, and a morning coffee without him feels an eternity? I wonder, would grief show up or behave differently if we could change or find a way to reset our perception of time? Life doesn’t have to stay frozen in time as it moves at high speed around me. In this space of liminality there can be room for growth, it can be an opportunity to learn how to weave those memories into the present and carry them without the burden of looking back. Always looking back. Some passing thoughts from something I’ve been writing about lately #time We had so much fun that night, it will always be one of my favourite memories. xx

Riverfest Limerick 2026 you beauty! What a weekend to spend with family and friends🤍 To kick things off the girls and I took a walk through Limerick’s vibrant history before heading to everyone’s favourite festival village and taking an evening dip in the glorious sunshine. Riverfest fashionfest was a highlight showcasing some of our very best Irish designers and emerging talent. What a way to kick off a spectacular weekend in Limerick city #riverfestlimerick #ad

We laughed. A Lot! X 💕💕

How can time ever live up to the expectation that people place on it, when its passing is a front row screening to all you never got a chance to be part of. Grief that alters your number is one that time has no say in. The number sitting for dinner The number of kisses goodnight The number of daily calls and texts The number on your emergency contact The number of times a day you think of them The number of people who call yours, home💔 A slightly longer chat around grief and the passing of time coming soon to my substack for anyone who might like to take a little peek over there x We miss you. Forever your shiddle diddles x

Reformer Pilates at @thepilatesroom_limerick . With three locations & small group classes. 📍Ballysimon @padel_Ik 📍Castletroy 📍Dooradoyle When your best friend is a Pilates instructor and your body is screaming ‘I’m not 25 anymore’ at you…Just move✨xx #pilates #reformerpi̇lates #gifted

I spent some time today looking back while trying to remain present. 3 years. I feel this one has been the hardest yet. So many big moments tilted because your imprint was missing from them. But it’s the thousands of little moments, the nothing special moments that nobody even recognises as a moment, those are the ones that keep me looking back. I’ve looked at countless photos of you today, this one caught my attention because I could hear you in it. He’d be pleased with how he looks in this one…young, tanned, fit. He liked to look good! At the same time, look closely and you’ll see his sunglasses are held together with tape! You see this was the other side of Tom, his whole life he was so unmoved by material things if he liked something, if he found it comfortable, familiar then he held onto it forever. His relationship with our girls was built on this mindset. The amount of time they got together simply wasn’t enough, but they have still learnt so much from him because he did the little things so well. Time without distraction. Tom was the best at being present and making the nothing special moments impossible to forget. I feel genuine pride knowing that he gave our girls his full attention love and support. You can give them all the “things”, all the crap we need to keep up with the bloody Jones’s but I’m telling you now as someone looking back you won’t remember any of that. My heart remembers the laughter they shared, moments I haven’t rewritten in my mind to soothe a broken heart. They happened exactly as I remember because Tom didn’t know any other way. How rare to be able to say that two girls who have lost too much in their young lives are lucky. Lucky to have known a love so visceral it’s absence can do nothing to diminish it. They will never forget what it feels like to be loved by their dad because every memory they have, all the nothing special moments carry all of him. If you can feel it you will never forget it. We will never forget xx

First day of spring was a beautiful one. Bank holiday weekends stopped being a time to slow down, and pause because I couldn’t spend them with the one person I always used to. Instead I’ve tried to avoid them or just power through, but all I’ve been doing is missing it. Missing out doesn’t stop me from missing him. I see him everyday in every smirk, every sideway glance that Julia takes and every word Isabel whispers. We always used to spend days like this with his sister, his “della” and her own family that’s just how it was. Continuing without him hurts like hell! but she has never stopped showing up for us. Our kids adore each other, and a day spent like this is never sad. Grief is a funny old thing we are all missing the same person from a different perspective and we we all have our own versions and memories of those weekends we shared together. We could park that, leave it there because everything has changed and now it’s too damn hard, but she stayed when it hurt the most. We’ll never find out if that house was in fact white or blue (iykyk) but imagine if we had never even been there to ask. Life unapologetically went on without him. that doesn’t stop being true no matter how I choose to spend it. The time we spent together and the memories we made belong to all of us even if he isn’t here anymore. Truthfully he is everywhere we are. And isn’t that what I’ve been searching for while hiding from it all along. xx

Our girl🤎✨

For as long as I’ve known Tom I’ve known Danny. Back then whatever was happening, they were in it together. Later It didn’t matter how much time passed theirs is a friendship packed so full of stories and memories that take you there simply when spoken of, the kind you can only dream of sharing with someone. I remember the first time they introduced me and Ann to each other it was the luck of god we immediately clicked, I can confidently say it would have been tough shit if we didn’t get along! With time they stood beside each other as they promised to love each of us forever. Babies and the role of godfather followed, a decision they and their beautiful first born might all agree was a spectacular fail although the wetsuit was a big success….once she eventually grew into it😉 Danny was Toms oldest, best, and most loyal friend so much so that years after one of those way past the midnight hour deep conversations they made a promise to each other that if something was to happen to one of them the other would look out for Ann or me and our girls. Danny told me this when I asked him one day soon after tom died why he didn’t just drift away to the occasional text. To which I said Ann would have been screwed had it been the other way round. I was joking but as usual without a beat he defended TT to the end knowing he’d have done the same. Our chats were always easy, stories of Tom mixed with updates on his own gorgeous girls, the centre of his world and loves of his life. All our friends kids loved Danny, his girls were lucky to have him as dad x He kept that old promise to his friend and he became one of my best over the last 3 years something I will be forever grateful for and I’m so glad I got to tell him that. Thank you for sharing all the wild crazy funny stories with me, for reminding me of that part of him and for being there for my girls when he couldn’t be anymore. I think we both felt closer to Tom for it. Who could have ever imagined a world that would take them both. There’s will be a friendship that will linger on in all of us. I will miss you my friend. Give him one of your hugs for me and I’ll be sure to give your three girls all of mine. X