What is Course You Can Malcolm? 🤔
Ever wondered what @malcolmses is? Here’s our brief guide to the club night in the afternoon. 🎤🎸🍺
Swipe across to read. Hope to see you tomorrow! 👋
#wearestrongerunited
Not a straight Malcolms post, but a call to arms for people to get over to Broadhurst Park next Tuesday and get behind the team.
It's the Play-Off Semi-Final. And we will host Warrington Rylands.
Tickets are available now via Fanbase ⬇️
🗓️ Tues 28th Apr
🕛 7.45pm
📍 Broadhurst Park
🎟️ /Fan/Tickets/SelectType?fixtureId=18327
Stop press news on beer and muffins. Muffins are Lemon and Blueberry (the irrational pedant in me wants to change that to Blueberry and Muffin, but I'm giving it as I was given it). Beers are Summertime Brews. Runaway Running Pale, and Chorlton Pale. #MostonMuffinScene #NonLeagueCaskAction
So, here we are, ready for the final Malcolmses of the season. From Bradford City on 5 July to Hednesford on 6 April we’ve been blessed with 15 spoken word acts and 21 top level musical turns. This Saturday we are topping it all off with another fantastic double bill.
Our comic this week is Shugufta Choudhry from Bradford. An unabashedly Northern comedian, Shugufta’s deadpan wit turns everyday life into the brilliantly absurd. With sharp punchlines, nerdy obsessions, and a sideways take on culture and family, she finds the funny where you least expect it.
Continuing the stretching the talent tentacle beyond Greater Manchester theme, our band today have come all the way from Newcastle on Tyne. By train.
Baker Island is an artpop/indiepop band who have drawn comparisons to Pavement, The Fall and Belle & Sebastian. They’ve played alongside the likes of Art Brut, The Wave Pictures and The Lovely Eggs. (We’re resisting the coals to Newcastle joke, but they have played a sold-out gig in an old mining tunnel). Their two latest EPs, Love Eggtually and Stone Age Riot were recorded alongside Sam Grant (Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs Pigs) and Bobby Mambo (British Birds) and featured cameos from members of Haiku Salut and The Wave Pictures. A third studio LP is due for release later this year.
Meanwhile, back to the food merch… Unsurprisingly, we’ll have Colwyn Bay’s finest mushy peas and Rose’s cheese and onion pies, alongside Rose’s tater ash pies. As those of you who were scarred by not getting one on Easter Monday know, they sold out in 25 minutes at that match, so get there early to secure your final treat of the season. And bear in mind there are five members of Baker Island…
Muffins, as always, will be improvved/busked nearer to the actual time. Guest beers will be Chorlton Pale, ‘something’ from Runaway and ‘something’ from Whitworth. The Runaway ‘something’ is a friendly 3.4%. Stick that in your Untappd profile.
So, running order: doors: 13.00, Baz introducing the day: 13.55, Shugufta Choudhry raising the laughs: 14.00, Baker Island raising the temperature: 14.15 and FC United raising the roof: 15.00.
Last orders is not half past ten. Last orders is one o'clock, this Saturday before the game against Hyde United. Join us in the SMRE bar for @shugufta_doescomedy and @bakerislandtheband . Details incoming.
The stage is set for our crucial Easter Monday fixture against title rivals Hednesford Town tomorrow! 🥳
We are expecting a bumper crowd at Broadhurst Park with over 2700 tickets sold already, so please arrive early and read the information carefully to ensure a smooth day for all. 🤝
🆚 @hednesfordtownfootballclub
🎟️ Advance tickets only for away supporters, we recommend home fans buy in advance. Link in bio.
⏰ Turnstiles, bars and food open from 1pm, kick off 3pm
🎤 Live music from @getnermcr and spoken word from @jamesunderscoreyoung at @malcolmses
🍺 4 bars open including cask ale in the SMRE - @fellbrewery Belay, @josephholt Fools’ Gold and Bitter
🍽️ Spartan Scran in the away end, Curry Van of Love and usual match day food for home fans
💳 Card payments only for food and drinks for away fans
See you there! 👋
#wearestrongerunited
It’s the penultimate Malcolm’s, Easter Monday, and with things at the top of the table getting very tight, it will be the perfect warm up to ease the nerves.
Our spoken word act is Malcolm’s regular and returnee to the stage, James Young. Known for his championing of Manchester and talented spoken word acts, Stretford’s finest son was deservedly inducted into BBC 6 Music’s class of 2025 and has performed at venues such as Factory International, Night and Day Cafe and The Britons Protection. He’s supported the likes of Gruff Rhys and Dove Ellis and worked with promoters such as Akoustik Anarkhy and Beyond the Music, playing festivals such as Bearded Theory and Andy Votel’s Nestival.
Gracing the stage are groove charged ‘Getner’. Who are set to release their debut single ‘Motorman’ on 20th May 2026 on Akoustik Anarkhy. Politically charged lyrics drawn from their lived Irish experience in the North of Ireland find a powerful home amidst Manchester’s emerging bands with Far Out Magazine tipping them in the Top 5 bands of the city right now alongside Westside Cowboy and Akoustik Anarkhy label mates Holly Head. Think Beastie Boys meets Pixies via Derry. Quentin, Charlie, Ruairi and Will deliver a sound fuelled by what they’ve described as a kind of “positive rage,” pulling on generational memory, Irish history and working class storytelling, all delivered with an energy built for packed rooms, perfect for the sea of reds that’ll flood the SMRE for the big game (and for lead guitarist Charlie’s birthday of course)
The usual pies and peas will be available accompanied by Fools Gold, Holts Bitter and Belay by Fell brewery which according to untappd.com, “it won’t let you down” and let’s hope we can say the same for FC. Have a pint or three. By the time kickoff rolls around, you’ll either feel better about it all … or maybe care slightly less. Either way, that’s the job done. Doors at 1.
⏰ There’s only one place to be at three o’clock this Saturday!
🤔 The question is – who are you bringing?
⚽️ Round up your family and friends and get yourselves to your football ground to be part of our push for promotion.
🆚 @bamberbridgefc_
🍺 Doors, bars and tasty food from 1pm, including Irk Street Pale from @blackjackbrewco
🎤 Poetry from @thickrichardduffy and live music by @thebepositives from 1:30pm at CYCM
🎟️🔗 in bio. Bring on United! 🇾🇪
#wearestrongerunited #glazersout #whatsonmanchester
So, here we are with only three Course You Can Malcolms to go before the end of the season. Sadly, we don’t have the staff to pull one together for the Flixton game and we’ll probably all be wanting to go a little giddy if we end up in the play-off final on the May Day Bank Holiday. But we can promise you three more quality events with the celebrated pies, peas, poetry and power pop.
Our poet for this week was approached to play following a Lovely Eggs gig at Lancaster Castle. ‘I don’t have any family friendly material’, he told us. Well… competition for Baz.
“Thick Richard has been pedaling his potty-mouthed poems at festivals and clubs up and down the land for the last 16 years. His cynical, lyrical, jet-black humour, intelligent wordplay, well-crafted verse, and occasionally acerbic, well-targeted comic attacks have earned him much respect from artists and audiences from Edinburgh to Glastonbury. Occasional support for Kate Tempest, he was also presenter of BBC 6 Music’s Beat of the Day”.
Possibly one of the greatest hidden secrets in a city that doesn’t usually do hidden secrets, The Be Positives are a power pop/rock group from Manchester UK. Their sound derives from jangly Kinks-esque guitars, Americana harmony vocals a la The Band/CSNY, topped with the added punch of late 70s UK Rock n’ Roll.
They formed in 2018, recording their debut self-titled debut album shortly after. The album was released on Italy’s White Zoo records in 2019, to which the Manchester Evening News said the album “possesses an optimism and manic energy that’s hard to resist”. Their second album, ‘Everything About… The Be Positives’, came out on Think Like a Key Music in 2021, and received a 4 star review in Shindig! Magazine.
We think you’re going to like them…
As our regular pie-maker is off dry-stone-walling just outside Mytholmroyd this week we’re using the previously-successful stand-ins from Bury Market. Expect the usual meat or cheese variations along with mushy peas from the pea-fields of Prestwich. This week’s guest beer is ‘Irk Street Pale’ from local brewers made-good, Blackjack. No news yet on the muffin massive, but will update if we can. Cash only. Same as it ever was.
Psyklones playing @malcolmses at Broadhurst Park at 2pm this Saturday with @kingbeak67
Later that night, playing an acoustic set at the @akoustikanarkhy show at the Briton’s Protection, around 7pm (so I can then have a few pints). Come on down for some good time mid life rock and roll.
Both Psyklones albums will be available to buy at the events.
This Saturday at Malcolm’s, we’re turning the volume up and the vowels down (sorry, Yorkshire) for the usual pre match ritual of pies, pints and performances (please note: peas can’t be officially included in this list as may be poisoned due to ongoing tensions across the Pennines)
Performing on Saturday is Psyklones Manchester’s most intriguing musical collective, back where they belong and bringing something absolutely electric with them. Their recent release of their album Ballet of Snipers Alley can be listened to here: /album/2R559nhuIu1Dx3BR3HS7Vq?si=Fxsa0aYgR2uG51MRDfwFkg it’s worth a listen.
And because one comic simply isn’t enough for Malcolm’s (we’re expanding- emotionally and geographically), we’ve got not one but two brilliant wordsmiths making the trip over from Leeds. Yes, they’re bravely crossing into civilisation.
Rosie delivers dry, understated observations on the awkwardness of making adult friends while chronically overthinking absolutely everything. An old soul with a baby face, she leans into the knowingly uncomfortable and makes it playfully relatable.
Fiona, whose sharp, funny storytelling guides us through the pitfalls (and occasionally the actual falls) of navigating life, questionable hobbies and the general nonsense of being a functioning adult. Expect laughs a plenty.
Join us under the SMRE at 1pm, performances at 1:45pm❤️
