Moments of Joy PT. 1
April 12, 2023, the world got darker. Losing you changed me in ways I’m still trying to understand. I often wonder what shaped me more, having you in my life or losing you, but either way, the impact is something I carry every day.
This past year has been the hardest yet. Accepting the loss of you, my old life, and even parts of myself hasn’t come easy. You found joy in everything and showed so much love and acceptance, even through your battles.
Reflecting on myself before your death, I am very different now. Often times I find myself missing the old version of me. I have a hard time being present with no distraction. I have a hard time accepting this new person I have become. Acceptance is hard. Finding joy is hard. Life is hard, for all of us.
With that being said, I want to take a moment to recognize the people in my life that keep me going. Whether you were a person from the past who knew me before scotty’s death and accepted and loved both versions of me, thank you. Or if you were a person who’s only ever loved and accepted this version of me, thank you. Finding joy within my grief is hard; but having people who help you love and accept you for you, there’s no word for it but gratitude. You are the people who help me live life like my brother, and in honor of him. In honor of how you lived, Scotty, this is PT. 1 of Moments of Joy💜
Being your big sister is an honor I’ll carry forever. Miss u
- Your big sister, Mac💜
