From all the practices that I have learned over the years, there is one that I return to daily and that is to release the tensions that I build up around my heart again and again.
When I feel any activity, interaction, environment, belief, or thought pattern is creating tension around my heart, I check in with myself and find the place of contraction in my body.
I use my breath to open up that space allowing for any emotion that wants to be experienced to surface. Gently, making sure that I don't flood and overwhelm myself.
Then from a grounded place of clarity, I can decide what I want to experience going forward.
Sometimes it frees up the space for a deeper interaction or connection with the person, activity, or project, sometimes it means taking a step back.
Taking a step back doesn’t mean burning bridges and giving up. It means giving the situation a chance to rebalance and recalibrate, which can lead to a rekindling or dissolution.
This practice helps me to keep a free flow of energy, and high levels of satisfaction as I am choosing rather than pushing myself in all sorts of directions.
Opening your heart again, or finding intrinsic motivation instead of shaming yourself into action can feel terrifying (as we fear losing control), but the joy and the depth of experiencing your life that comes with is so worth it.
Would you dare? Let me know your thoughts below.
📸 @richardalmaphotography
Warmth is a soft state of being, a glow that tells your system, “you’re safe, you can relax.”
It changes everything.
It’s the exhale that comes from a heart that’s not braced for impact.
The softness that appears when your body stops defending itself.
Warmth is like the sun on someone’s skin when they didn’t realize they were cold.
It’s presence, safety, openness, all happening without effort.
It’s the kind of fire that doesn’t chase, doesn’t perform, doesn’t convince.
It just is.
And people feel it.
Soften the walls around your heart to become it.
Hold on tight when you find it.
It’s rare.
#warmth #embodiment #nervoussystemregulation selfleadership somatichealing traumarecovery mindfulness selfconnection boundaries innerwork
Forgiveness is often misunderstood as saying what happened was okay, but it’s not that.
From a trauma-sensitive view, forgiveness is never about minimizing the harm done or rushing to let go before you’re ready.
It’s about releasing the grip that pain has on your nervous system, at your pace. Forgiveness is about you and your peace.
I have battled with the concept of forgiveness a lot, because I did not understand what it truly meant.
To me now it means freeing myself from carrying what was never meant to live inside me forever. The guilt, the disgust, the shame, the pain, the blame, sin, judgement.
Healing usually starts with feeling the anger, rage, grief, or silence, and to let that unravel.
No need to rush this.
Let it unfold naturally.
Then when your sense of safety with yourself and self-compassion are strong enough, it will be effortless.
As Adyashanti says, “Forgiveness isn’t something you do; it’s what happens when you see clearly.”
So if you’re not ready yet, that’s sacred.
You are still healing.
You are still on your way home to peace.
And remember, the most important person to forgive,
is you…🤍
#forgiveness #traumainformed #healingjourney #spiritualhealing #selfcompassion #innerpeace #adyashanti #acourseinmiracles #mindfulhealing #selflovejourney
I’m happy for anyone to see me as toxic, the villain, a bad person, a manipulator, self-centred, a bitch, you name it.
I am unwilling to waste my life force energy trying to prove people wrong.
Because what is right and good by one person’s standards is celebrated by another person’s value system.
You can never win when you let others define who you are, or what your life should look like.
When you drop the need for validation, applause, or agreement and no longer seek to be understood, you step into freedom.
Be strong enough to stand in your own energy.
Even if it makes others uncomfortable and judgmental.
Because peace and empowerment come from being real and true to who you are.
#selfempowerment #authenticity #selfworth #personalgrowth #innerpeace #boundaries #growthjourney #selfawareness #healingjourney #mindsetshift #empoweredwomen #selfrespect #truthseeker #energyalignment #realtalk #messengers2025
Most people try to filter love into something their identity can hold. If the love feels too big, pure, or boundaryless, their sense of self feels threatened, because it requires dissolving into something they can’t control.
So they unconsciously bounce it back, not because you’re “too much”, but because the intensity of what you’re offering would require them to drop their separateness.
When you are still looking for reciprocity or recognition, you interpret that bounce-back as rejection. But in reality, they’re not rejecting you. They’re resisting the surrender that love asks of them.
It’s like shining a sunbeam into someone’s eyes, they shield themselves, not because the sun is wrong, but because their pupils aren’t ready to dilate.
This also means: the more you realize that love isn’t “theirs” or “yours” but simply flowing through you, the less there is for you to be hurt by someone else’s inability to hold it.
Let love flow, untouched, when it feels too big, expand.
#unconditionallove #surrender #fearandlove #soulgrowth #emotionalalchemy #consciouslove #healingjourney #awakening #deepconnection #spiritualawakening #lovewithoutfear #trusttheprocess #sacredlove #pranasomatics #inneralchemy #presence
My way or the highway is fear hidden under certainty. It’s the false sense of safety we try to create through control.
True love is being able to listen, to bend when it scares us, to stay open even when it’s uncomfortable.
Control feels safe, but true connection requires risk.
Vulnerability needs courage. The closer we get to others, the more we discover that life is about meeting heart to heart, softening our grip, and allowing the unexpected.
Real strength lives in that space that feels like freefall: in surrendering control, trusting the process, and choosing love and connection above all.
#healing #repair #vulnerabilityisstrength #selfgrowth #relationships #emotionalintelligence #pranasomatics #love
Take a screenshot of the last slide to make sure you have covered all the elements of a good apology.
Skills I wish I would have learned a lot earlier in life.
Having these talks is connecting and healing, but these are not the life skills we learn in school.
Even though still highly uncomfortable, it’s beautiful to see the relief in someone when the heart-felt sorry finally lands.
Who do you owe an apology?
#accountability #healing #relationships #repair #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #connection #presence #innerwork #growth #healingjourney #relationshipskills #empathy #forgiveness #apology
When things go wrong and we’ve messed it up, there is a burning desire to fix things quickly.
This burning feeling often is intense shame and guilt. We want to get away from that as soon as we can.
It can feel hot, like holding burning coals,
or tense, like being trapped with an angry tiger,
especially when we make ourselves bad
and sink into self-loathing with dysfunctional shame and guilt.
But when things matter to us, we can’t escape.
And the more you can stay with what happened
without running from it, focusing on the other and their pain, the deeper the repair will be.
The steps are simple, not easy.
You name what you did.
You express how it affected the other.
You come up with a solution to repair.
And then a full stop, you stay silent.
You hold steady with your discomfort.
You don’t explain.
No justification.
Not making the other bad.
You don’t try to be forgiven.
You stay present, and let the other person know
that you see their pain.
That’s when real repair starts.
From your willingness to stay put when it would be easier to run.
This, is true care, and true love.
#accountability #healing #relationships #repair #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #shame #guilt #connection #presence #innerwork #growth #healingjourney #relationshipskills #empathy #forgiveness
The dark taught me what light could not.
It showed me the depth of my being, pushed me to surrender many layers of the false self, and showed me the infinite presence behind every thought.
How have the toughest times in life shaped you for the better? Would you have wanted to miss out on the growth?
🤍🖤
“The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
From: The guest house by Coleman Barks
📸 melanie.sievernich
#rumi #theguesthouse #shadowwork #spiritualgrowth #inneralchemy #selfawareness #innerpeace #mysticpoetry #consciousness #awakening #wholeness #lightandshadow #pranasomatics #mindfulness #innerwork
At the peak of experiencing separation anxiety, I would even feel a slight sense of panic when my husband would go upstairs and meditate without telling me.
I have had moments of absolute despair, where I would drive around with no destination trying to calm myself down.
The abandonment wound is real and can make us feel and behave absolutely desperate.
So, before judging yourself or another, check in for a moment: Was there a disruption in the connection? Did I pull back?
We are all trying our best to access love, safety, and belonging with the sometimes clumsy tools we have.
The first step to healing is deep compassion, for yourself and the younger version of you who still feels unsafe.
Healing often means going back for the parts of you that were left behind.
The “inner child” is you, a real person with feelings, from another time, who felt alone, scared, or unseen.
Learning to love and protect that part of you changes everything. đź’«
#innerchildhealing #emotionalhealing #selfhealers #traumarecovery #healingjourney #somatichealing #attachmenthealing #selfcompassion #healingfromwithin #ifs #mindbodyconnection #partswork #pranasomatics #awakening
I used to be quiet a negative, even catastrophic thinker.
The glass was always half empty.
Everything felt impossible, heavy, difficult, not for me.
I was dragging myself around like a heavy sack of potatoes.
Looking back, I see that a big part of that was trauma and fear…
but also my sensitivities.
I got overwhelmed easily.
Put me in a new environment, out of my routine, and I’d shut down, completely resistant.
Through mindfulness and meditation, I started realizing something powerful: your thoughts can shift how you feel.
And when you start changing the thoughts you engage with and the emotions that follow, the quality of your life changes.
Radically.
And surprisingly fast.
You’re training your brain every day.
From fear to focus.
From panic to possibility.
So the question is…
what are you practicing?
And how does it make you feel?
#mindfulpractice #neuroplasticity #mindsetgrowth #innerbalance #handstandjourney #awarenesspractice #pranasomatics #awakening
Sitting still is something that was never really available to me. Whenever I tried, my mind would scream, “Have to do, have to do, have to do.”
I didn’t realize at the time that my nervous system was stuck in a constant state of fight or flight. If I stayed in that state long enough - running, doing, over-functioning - I would eventually collapse into a depression, where I needed to recover for weeks.
That cycle repeated for many years: nonstop doing → exhaustion → collapse → repeat.
Sympathetic activation to dorsal vagal shutdown on repeat, never experiencing ventral vagal.
When I began to learn about the nervous system, ADHD, mindfulness, and meditation, I started to see the pattern. I realized that even in my active times, my body needed to down-regulate and my mind needed stillness.
So I learned to pause.
I learned to meditate and be mindful.
I learned to sit still, even when my mind told me to keep moving.
Over time, the ups and downs softened. My system found more balance. Now, when I notice myself running on autopilot, pushing, striving, I pause.
I stop.
I breathe.
I allow myself to relax, release the tension, and gather energy again. From that moment of peace, I can move forward with clarity and balanced action.
Of course, this hasn’t been easy. It’s been a process of unraveling old patterns, meeting the layers of restlessness, healing trauma, and learning to work with my nervous system and ADHD brain instead of against it.
If you recognize yourself in this, I invite you to try a small pause today.
Just a breath.
A moment of stillness, before reaching for the next thing.
Notice what happens in your body.
Notice the impulse to move, to do, to fix.
And instead of following the urge to do, see if you can stay, just for a few seconds, with stillness.
#nervoussystemhealing #mindfulness #somatichealing #selfregulation #meditationpractice #awakening #traumahealing #adhd #adhdisreal #adhdinwomen
