People keep asking if Iām okay, if I need anything and the truth is, I donāt know how to answer that.
Iām sorry I havenāt returned your calls or texts.
Staring at the ocean like it might hand me something or a reason, a sign, a way through thisā¦
Iāve lost them both within four months and Iām somewhere between disbelief and exhaustion suspended in a life that doesnāt feel like mine right now.
This grief is so beyond tears and sadness. I donāt think Iāve even been able to get to that part fully yet, because Iām fighting a war that no one can see. Itās the mental gymnastics of juggling the business affairs, the callsā¦god itās so many calls, the planning, the decisions, the organizing, second-guessing everything, trying to untangle years of complicated love, hurt, and responsibility. And the paperwork! Itās so much fucking paperwork!!!
Itās two storage units in two different states full of things, a condo in Florida, the finances, the absolute hell and mess of all the things they left undone.
Sorting through pieces of their lives that wasnāt organized fully for their ending, and trying to clean up what I never created.
Iāve reached burn out. My nerves are completely shot. Im the kind of exhausted that sleep canāt fix. Between who I was and who I have had to become just to function in all of this has taken a massive toll
BUT even in the middle of this internal war, thereās a small part of me that knows it wonāt always feel this way and this storm, no matter how violent it feels will eventually pass, because even in this chaos and pain, I am choosing to be grateful for the love that existed, for the lessons I didnāt ask for, and for the strength I didnāt know I had.
I know and feel there is still something to be thankful for in all of this madness.
If youāre still reading this, please note this last part:
Life doesnāt wait for you to āget around to it.ā
Handle your business!
Take care of affairs and what matters NOW!
Be someone who leaves behind no weight, only a quiet soft space where love can sit undisturbed and where grief is given room to breathe, and those you leave behind are asked to carry nothingā¦except the ache of missing you.
ššš
She held me like I was her whole worldā¦
I have so many incredible memories..ones I can hold from photographs, cards, letters and trinkets, but this moment captured in time is one of my favorites, because it captures her embrace, her warmth, her whole essence holding and loving me.
I was around seven years old.
Until we meet again one day, Momma
šļøš¤š«
One week ago today, my mother suddenly left this earth and I am navigating the most unfamiliar territory I have ever faced.
I feel frozen in space and time and I can only describe this experience as some sort of twilight zone that I canāt seem to escape.
Not quite sure Iāll ever come back to this realm the same, but it seems very clear that there was a world with my mother in it and now there is a world without her and I canāt wrap my head around that new reality.
š¤Elisa June Truelove Torranceš¤
My beginning and my biggest cheerleader in this lifeā¦
My mother wrapped me in a love so deep, so constant,
it became the foundation of who I am.
Before I knew anything else, I knew her love and in her love, I learned what it meant to be seen, to be cherished, to be held without condition.
My mother had a heart Im convinced was made of gold and she leaves behind a legacy and lesson to all of us:
that we are here to love, to give, to serve, and to pour into others without hesitation.
I will honor my mother by loving the way she loved and giving the way she gave.
I will miss my mother in ways words cannot hold, but I will carry her in my heart, in my memories, and in the way I live.
She was my first example of love and because of her I will never be without it.
Even in my mothers death she continued giving and gifted two corneal recipients the gift of sight. She was also able to help dozens of those in need with the gift of bones and tissue donations and so her bright light will still shine on through strangers walking around in the world, carrying parts of herā¦.and that brings me so much comfort and peace.
She would have loved knowing she helped in this way.
Iāve attached the video of her celebration of life in my bio for those who couldnāt attend the service.
Its there you can hear all the ways in which made her so uniquely her and extraordinary to all who knew and loved her.
š¤š¤š¤
Fifteen years of fireš„šš«
Fifteen years ago I birthed this baby into the world to this very song and it feels like yesterday!
My middle babe, my bold & beautiful Aries child, a spark that can light up any room.
From baby days in her Beatles nursery to a music-loving spirit, sheās grown into someone so full of heart and love.
Her current passions: Music (always number 1), running track/cross country, and drama club.
Sheās an animal loving, mushroom admiring fairy who notices the little wonders in life most people pass byā¦
Sheās laughter, determination, warmth, and just the right amount of wild all wrapped into one incredible human.
Happy 15th birthday to my fierce, darling girl, Oliviaā¦you are magic, you are music, you are fire, and the world is so lucky to have you!!!
āļø š„ š š§ šš«šš„³š
How are yall training for the war???
My Buck knife and .38 not seen here, but Iām trotting and cantering barrel patterns every week since 2026 started so thereās that.
š“š«š§š»āāļøšŖā”ļø
Get ready with me to hex the patriarchyā¦
Serving looks while summoning change and wearing my ancient rage as my favorite accessory.
šÆļøš®šš«
#witch #hexthepatriarchy #spells #ootdfashion #grwm
Got a few things done this morning, went by the house and checked on my cats and chickens, but then the rain came, so I went back to the AirBNB, slipped into this vintage gown/robe, and just looked hot for the rest of the dayšš
Iāll try again tomorrow.
#day10 #nopower
Gratitude as devotion.
Gratitude for 8 days and counting of living by candlelight šÆļø
Gratitude for a home that holds (despite the big tree limb that took out our power line from house to street yet somehow stills has the 1 leg of power that is keeping ONLY our heat on! It doesnāt make any sense, but Iām not questioning it.šš»š«)
Gratitude for neighbors who check in & friends that let me do laundry in their home while also helping me nurse a sick chicken back to good health.š§ŗš
Gratitude for the 1996 ice storm that burned our house completely to the ground, so that during this weekās apocalyptic ice storm in Nashville Iām reminded that it has and could always be worse. š
Gratitude for a body that knows how to survive, for my fire within and tending to my flame, my children, my husband and my animals.š„
Gratitude for Winter, I truly love this season even with all the challenges it brings.āļø
I say these words to stay alive, to remember I am alive and who I am. To name what is still holy: warmth, shelter, pulse, presence.
Blessed Imbolcā¦may this turn of the wheel be gentle and hold you safe.
šÆļøāØš«šš
Photo by my darling husband @gyasitheband
UPDATE: 3 seats
Only 5 seats left @thewitchingtable for our 2026 Imbolc ritual feast & ceremony on February 1stā¦
Hereās a very small glimpse into last yearās celebration featuring @theeyesoftheoracle divination readings and @wayward_pixie as our Nyotaimori and fire dancer.
If youāve ever felt called to gather under a full moon, in candlelight, to break bread with magick in the air, and walk away changedā¦
Your seat is waiting.
šš«
Link in bio
