Lucy Lapwing

Admission; I’ve been hoarding shells again. Oopsie. Most of my pockets, for most of the time, have nature treasures in them. Stuff your fingers in there (and I’m not for a second suggesting you do), and you’ll fondle allllll sorts. Feathers and pebbles and galls and shells and sea glass and sometimes gross things like bones and otter spraint and semi-disintegrated owl pellets*. At the moment, my pockets rattle satisfyingly, as if full of marbles. But they’re not. Instead it’s the reassuring clicky-clack of shells, belonging to a marvellous marine mollusc I’m a great admirer of. Periwinkles. Flat ones - Littorina obtusata or fabalis. The other day I went for a beach wander and found myself entranced by the strandline. It’s a great zone for a nosey; you never know what treasures you’ll find, tangled amongst the seaweed and plastic fishing rope. On this day, my mind zoomed into a bright speck - the yellowest of yellow shells, tiny and swirled like something from a kid’s picture book. I picked up the first Periwinkle shell and then felt it - that distinct tingle in the back of your skull, that tells you you’re about to lock into a hyper-focussed collection session. And so the hoarding commenced. Uh oh. I picked up one after another after another; Buttercup yellow, Brimstone yellow, and the yellow of a fondant fancy. Mmm. Then I zoomed out a bit - there were shit loads of other colours here too. Oranges, the colour of tinned peaches and traffic cones and that bangin’ orange moment right before sunset. And there were greens and olives and browns and khakis. All sorts of shades. Delicious. I laid em all out on my palm for a moment of satisfaction. This is my haul, my shopping spree, my gluttonous consumption. What an array of bobby dazzlers. Now they sit in my pocket, lots of diddly, smooth objects ready to be tickled by nervous fingers. Every time I stick a hand in there, it’s a a proper lucky dip - and always exciting. *Note: never put an owl pellet in your pocket and forget about it. Your ENTIRE load of laundry *will* be coated in tiny strands of grey fur for a long time. 💀 #shells #nature #wildlife #ukwildlife #marinebiology

TOAD ON TOUR! Ey up nerds, am going on tour! I’ve been busy behind the scenes organising a hodgepodge of events across the UK for Love is a Toad. Here’s a bunch of dates to start with - from book festivals to wildlife walks on nature reserves. I’ll be yabbering on about book writing, nature joy and grief, and the wonderful nerds and wildlife that fill LIAT’s pages. I’m also happy to scribble somthing on a copy for you, be it compliments or loving insults. Some events are bookable already, others are coming soon - so save the dates! All links to booking are in my Insta bio too, so just head there for a nosey. See you there?! Much love! xx P.s. If you happen to know (or be) a bookshop or venue looking for some nerdy events, I’d love to hear from you. Email address on the tile above, or on my profile. #naturewriting #naturenerd #ukwildlife #loveisatoad #nature

BLOBBY DAZZLER 🤩 On this day, I met a gelatinous giant; a rubbery chubster of the sea. A Barrel Jellyfish, and what a jelly babe they were. I love the very stuff they’re made of, like something you’d buy for a quid in the pocket money section of a gift shop. All rubber & succulent, as if made from agar or silicone. Just looook! All of those frills and ruffles, soaked in a salmon pink hue. Then there’s the purple. Scalloped edges decorated in a vivid violet ink. How bizarrely gorgeous. Isn’t it mind-blowing that there are beings this weird and hazzy just... floating about out there? I don’t understand jellyfish. And I LVOE that about them. I don’t understand how something the size of a dustbin lid starts off as a lickle blip in the planktonic soup of the ocean. But apparently, they do. Look up a diagram of a jellyfish lifecycle, an you’ll see it’s like a sketch from a sci-fi book - an unfamiliar and utterly *weird* alien form, conjured from someone’s fantastical imagination. And the language is fantastical too. I learned that they STROBILATE (oo-er) as part of their asexual reproduction. Starting off as tiny larvae, they’ll attach themselves to the seabed to live life as a polylp for a bit. Then they strobilate - basically budding off bits of themselves into the sea, which float away to become an adult jelly. Chaos. I love it. This giant washed up on the beach, as was probs 40-50cm across. Their ruffles of tentacles reminded me of curly kale, complete with thick, podgy fingers at the end. One booped me on the nose once (long story) and it tingled for hours afterwards. This time I was content with giving their dome (?) a gentle poke, away from mildly stinging tentacles. I don’t know if they were still alive, but if so, I hope the next tide carried them gently back out into the blue. #jellyfish #marinebiology #nature #ukwildlife #naturalist

You’ve seen frogspawn... but have you ever seen TOADSPAWN?! Oooooh yes. Spawn of Toads! What utterly, wonderfully pleasure-inducing stuff. This is the Common Toad’s entry for ‘The Best Stuff of Spring’ competition. Previous years’ crown titles have gone to frogspawn (for obvious reasons), but this year - I think we might have a new winner. Don’t get me wrong, I *love* frogspawn. I feel like it matches Frogs’ hoppy, mildly chaotic energy - a messy mound of bubbles, appearing suddenly as if frothing from below the surface with energy and gusto. Toadspawn, on the other hand, is an altogether different goop game. Instead of bubbles, we see these ribbons of gelatinous gorgeousness, draped and suspended through the water like streamers at am amphibious party. I hope I’m invited. Toadspawn is orderly and neat, dots strung along in rows, held together by an almost invisible jelly. I think it reflects Toads, too. It is chiller, less mad and busy. A bit like the slow and bumbling warty babes it comes from. It reminds me abstractly of a spce vortex you’d see in a sci-fi film, twisting and bending between stars and through time. I always thought frog and toadspawn were one and the same, until I clapped eyes on these wonderfully bizarre ropes for the first time. And I’ve no idea why it’s like this. Maybe so it can become entwined around pond weeds and fallen branches, secure in case of downpours and heavy flows? I took an extra-close up look this time, and noticed something I’d never clocked before. The dots - they’re LUMPY! Are these the very beginnings of warts?! I hope so. Of course, that’s something we mustn’t forget either - where this is all leading. For now, strings of dot-laden jelly bobbing about, surrounded by copulating amphibious couples (see pic of Toad orgy) . But soon.... TOADPOLES! #toads #frogspawn #ukwildlife #nature #naturalist

Whimsical tufts of the woods! I bloody love wandering amongst Birch trees at this time of year. Late winter or early spring, before the leaves come out. When their silvery, papery bark, adorned with scribbles and tiger stripes, contrasts with a bright blue sky in a way that’s just *mwah*. The best thing about the bareness though, is THESE. Not old birds’ nests, no. These knuckled, messy and knobbly blobs are something else entirely. They look like colossal pom poms, perhaps woven by witches or woodland sprites, all gnarly and angular and spooky. These bizarre treetop tufts are called Witch’s Brooms, and they’re as mystical as their name suggests. Witch’s Broom is a widely used name for these sorts of woody, sprouting growths that occur on lots of different plants. They can be caused by all sorts of things; viruses, invertebrates, damage and fungi. on Birch trees, where the growths are particulartly and fabulously obvious, they’re most often caused by a fungus called Taphrina betulina. This fungus infiltrates the Birch tree, and through some sort of chemical witchcraft, causes a distortion of the tree’s buds and young shoots. Over time these clusters of buds explode in growth, forming these dense, matted eruptions of twiggy material, resulting in a Witch’s Broom. This happens slowly, over years; infection, distortion, a battle, and a gradual altering of a living being’s shape and form as it grapples with another species’ grip. A brill reminder of the coomplexity of it all- the tangles, layers, relationships and drama around us. And it *is* drama. It’s just a bit too slow for us human’s to see it. I like to look at Witch’s Broom as though we’re looking at a photograph; nature’s very own firework display, snapped at the peak of it’s BANG. What an amazing thing to witness. #woodland #witchesbroom #mycology #naturenerd #nature

WHAT A NIGHT! It might be the hangover speaking... but I’m so full of emotion I could burst. Last night my book, Love is a Toad, was set lumbering out in to the wild, officially! A bunch of the warmest, kindest, nerdiest, most wonderful folks rocked up to a book shop to hear me natter on about it. I’m so grateful for everyone who came. This book was a joy and a challenge and a SLOG. In it, I wanted to celebrate nature, in all of it’s beautiful, weird, underrated and ugly variety. But I also wanted to celebrate people. Because people are MINT. Human beings are what I owe my love of nature to - they’re knowledge givers, secret sharers, and nerdy fact guzzlers. They’re lovely, and enthusiastic, and obsessive, and clever and bloody brill. And there’s so much anti-human sentiment out there, particularly in the world of conservation, so I wanted to turn that on its head and celebrate one of my favourite species. So - Nadia, Amy-Jane, Indy, Chan, Nev, Charlie, Chris, Tom, Mel, Nick, Nicola and Leif - THANK YOU. It was so fab to celebrate with you all last night (sorry @thewillowtit you couldn’t be there, love you!) as well as so many other fabulous humans. So grateful, just bursting with love. Thanks so everyone who’s gotten a copy of LIAT so far - it really means the world! And to Ellie, my editor at Bonnier, and Claire, my wonderful agent - your support and help with this whole thing has been invaluable, thank you!! Now - sleep! #nature #wildlife #ukwildlife #naturalist #naturenerd

Get ready for some flirty bird facts! 👀🤯 Naturalist @lucy_lapwing joins us to dish on the spring breeding season, including the surprisingly WILD love life of the humble dunnock! 💞🐦‍⬛ Head to Lucy’s page to find out about her brilliant new book, ‘Love Is A Toad’ 📖 and watch her full feature in our latest episode on YouTube! 🎙️ #GetBirding #dunnock #spring #birdbreeding #birdfacts

I FOUND SOMETHIN DEAD MINGIN AND WEIRD AND BEAUTIFUL 💀😍 Horn Stalkball!! A fungus I’d seen pics of online, but never met in person… until this day 🤩 Like some kind of morbid, putrid, wonderful celeb, I couldn’t believe it when I spotted the dotted tufts of little shrooms sprouting from this skull. I did a little dance and then had to calm myself down. Horn Stalkball, Onygena equina, is a fungus that does what it says on the tin: it scoffs horn. You’ll find it devouring the putrefying, rotting horns and hooves of various animals - basically anywhere where there’s decaying keratin (one Onygena species even grows on Hedgehog spines). Some folks warn it can infect your nails (can you imagine 💅🍄‍🟫🍄) but I don’t think it’s all that true… Anyway, this sighting was undeniably gross, mingin and stinky, but what a find 🤩🤩🤩 #fungi #mycology #naturenerd #nature #wildlife

Amongst the moss and sog, some little goblets of gorgeousness protrude… What absolute belter. It’s hard to describe the red of a Scarlet Elf Cup. Obviously they’re a *very bright* red, as their name would suggest; something akin to a bit of litter like a bottle top or crisp wrapper. But they’re more than that. They have a sort of welcoming texture when you look at them, almost soft and malleable, like the wax around a BabyBel. I’d always imaging them going soft and melty in the warmth of my fingertips. And the way they hold the light! From the front it’s as if they’re cupping it, a beaker capturing sunshine and shadows inside its rim. From behind it’s a different vibe entirely; suddenly this little mushroom is a lantern, a tiny theatre where earwigs could make shadow puppet shows (if they wanted to). The woodland floor on this day was plastered with them, hundreds of tiny cups poking out of the moss like little ears, all waiting to eavesdrop on any juicy gossip. Scarlet Elf Cup is a Bobby dazzler of a mushroom; I always see them at this time of year, when they seem to straddle the hump between winter and spring. One of my favourite things about them is that they always seem to be accompanied by mosses. There’s something about that combo of lush and waxy, of red and lime that I just find incredibly satisfying. The water seeped through my trainers as I crouched to give this bunch a good ogle, and obligatory poke. I suddenly became aware I’d started absentmindedly giving one of them a wet Willy. I hope they heard me laughing. #fungi #mycology #scarletelfcup #naturenerd fantasticfungi

Our latest episode is out now! This time, host @sean_bean_official explores the breeding season and nest boxes 🪺 he’ll also be answering your birding questions and treating us to another wonderful poetry reading 🎙️ Joining him are our Resident Birders @birdgirluk , @citygirlinnature and @jasonsinghthing 🐦‍⬛ PLUS special guests comedian @toussaint_gram , naturalist @lucy_lapwing and @rspb Wildlife Advisor Katie Nethercoat 🌳 Subscribe via the link in bio and be the first to hear brand new episodes, dropping every other Thursday! 🎧🗓️ In collaboration with @forestholidays 🌱 #getbirding #birdwatching #nestbox #podcast #garden

One week to go! 🫠 How bloody scary. A week tomorrow, Love is a Toad is published; lumbering and lolloping its way out into the world like its warty namesake. Arghhhh! It was a hard old thing to write, a full book. It’s very easy to gush about nature; to celebrate our love for it, the wonder and joy it coaxes out of us. But talking about the murkier side of our relationship with it; the guilt, the hopelessness, the grief at its loss, is much trickier. It made me feel uncomfortable, angry and really flippin’ sad at times. And also, writing 95,000 words when the longest thing you’ve previously written was under 5k was a bit ✨oVeRwHeLMinG✨. But - it’s done. And it’s nearly here. If you read it, I hope you like it. I’ll be telling you a bit about some of the amazing folks involved in the book (all 12 of them!) in the coming weeks - but for now, I’ll leave you with this little poem from the fab Mary Oliver, who summarised it pretty well: “We shake with joy, we shake with grief. What a time they have, these two housed as they are in the same body.” #nature #wildlife #ukwildlife #naturewriting #toad

Episode 4 arrives tomorrow on YouTube, Spotify, and wherever you get your podcasts! 🦉 This time, host @sean_bean_official explores the breeding season and nest boxes 🪺 Sean will also be reading more poetry and showing us his favourite bird book 📖 PLUS @birdgirluk will be answering listener questions, and special guests include @lucy_lapwing , @toussaint_gram , @citygirlinnature , @jasonsinghthing and Katie Nethercoat from the @rspb ! 🎙️ Subscribe via the link in bio to be the first to hear new episodes, arriving every other Thursday 🗓️🎧 #getbirding #birdwatching #nestbox #birdbreeding #wildlife