with my pen, I wrote on and I tried to find words that described all the times I caught myself and realized there are good things just ahead of me 🏹
<3
i’ve accepted a full time job offer which has inspired a ton of conflicting emotions!
firstly, i am grateful to be employed after so much chronic unemployment and trying to sustain gig work as my ME baseline has fluctuated. i’m also excited to be employed in a creative workspace (i’ll share more about the job soon!)
secondly, i am concerned for the state of my body once i begin. as many folks should know, i have moderate-severe ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis) which causes unrelenting fatigue and so many other symptoms. in warmer seasons my fatigue tends to be less severe, though other symptoms still persist, and my conditions like anemia, POTS and hypermobility are exacerbated.
i need a job as a safety net, despite the risk it poses health-wise so i am hoping to get support in accessing disability aids. mutual aid alone simply isn’t sustainable for me right now.
i’ve been living below my needs, with expenses exceeding my income. i feel guilty when i buy groceries and stress about bills constantly. a part of me feels like this job could be against my better judgement, another part of me knows not working is no longer an option. so if i can accommodate to myself even somewhat, then i want to work.
the reality is, i spend of lot of my time depressed and anxious, the turmoil of which exacerbates my physical health. this job can potentially be a quality of life boost, not only financially, but by offering a well needed break from the eternal suffering of being trapped in my bedroom, mentally torturing myself.
i am lucky my ME is mild enough that i can even imagine working. but i also live with chronic sui ideation from so much compounding trauma. others with ME know how deadly pushing ourselves can be, but folks with chronic ideation know how crucial any sense of purpose is to not give up on ourselves.
i am very passionate about the work i’ll be doing, and i ask for your support to make this possible!
thank you so much for reading. please circulate the 2nd slide 🪽
<3
image descriptions in comments!
it’s a boy! 🩵
happy tdov or whatever! plz make your wallets visible by sending Black trans folks money; check my stories and past posts for folks you can donate to :•3
♡
I’ve been out as trans since 2014; I’ve gone through many terms for my identity and forms of expression since then, but I’ve been pretty settled on gender abundant for the past few years (a term I coined and have never seen out in the wild but anyone can use!) I started T on halloween of last year! and top surgery is in my future. I’m nonbinary as hell and being Black and autistic heavily informs my identity hence the former username “autie shawtie.” I’ve always embraced femininity in my expression because I revere it but also for safety, and I’m always learning how to balance it authentically with being masculine of center and not giving parts of myself away just to be digestible.
that said… it’s been a while since I’ve said some real shit on here and that’s cause this app feels like fucking squid game (surveillance, competitive, violent, etc) but we’re all grown and, like… this is MY “wall” so to keep it real with y’all… I need some gay guy dick. okay okay happy tdov! gonna go rot in bed! bye! 🐶
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image descriptions:
1 - lala outside wearing a grey, white, navy blue and red striped button up shirt.
2 - 2 side by side mirror selfies of lala wearing a green button up top over a white long sleeve, blue jeans and a brown belt with a heart shaped buckle.
3 - a meme of 3 tweets reading from top down “can a gay guy destroy my pussy” “need to fuck a gay guy” “i need gay guy dick lowkey”
redefining resting bitch face 🐶
•
what are your current special interest(s), hyperfixations, or other things you’re enjoying lately?
mine is screenwriting! film + tv and writing are both longtime special interests but lately i’ve been trying to hone my own screenwriting skills in hopes of one day actually funding a project ~ currently juggling a book adaptation for film and a tv pilot!
plz engage w the second slide, cuties 🦋
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image descriptions:
1 - a selfie of lala, a biracial Black and white perpsn with lightened brown hair, wearing pink eye makeup, a brown lip combo and big silver hoop earrings.
2 - a multicolored graphic with text reading, “k and c are a disabled black queer couple fundraising to afford rent and catch up on credit debt built up after moving into safer housing! ca: cgab27, v: calebg727. if you don’t have ca/v. send $ to pp: [email protected] with note for k+c”
i’m a lover of all seasons but winter if you don’t getcho ass to moving so spring can make her 2026 debut i may start freaking out !! coping with adorning myself in winter aesthetics can only do so much 🩵❄️☃️
what are y’all excited for in the coming spring? i’m excited to sit on my porch and not be in pain from the cold >.< ☀️🌷
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image descriptions:
(photo of lala and a fundraiser graphic! low spoons and on the train! will add soon!)
blehhh. i have nothing to say. i feel like dookie. anyways, check out the 2nd slide pleak ^.^
q to feed the algae riddem: been reading/playing/watching/listening to anything lately?
♡
image descriptions:
1: a photo of lala wearing a pink respirator, a white buttoned top, small hoop earrings, silver circle frame glasses, necklaces and their hair gelled down.
2: a graphic with a photo of human Marshall Lee from Fionna and Cake and text that reads “QT BLACK COMMUNITY MEMBER IN URGENT NEED OF RENTAL ASSISTANCE. David (they/he) has been out of work for months and despite his best efforts has not been able to secure employment. This means struggling to pay bills and dealing with constant stress. If you are able to contribute to them affording this month’s rent bill, any amount helps! V: dtm41 CA: dtm12 *if v/ca don’t work for you - pp/z: [email protected]”
been feeling like a wild animal, lately. don’t know if i should feel grounded or frightened by that fact. either way, i’m riddled with grief and fatigue and am really needing to be held 🍂🌨️🩷
♡
image descriptions:
1 - lala wearing rainbow glasses, hoop earrings, a black headwrap and a fluffy black hoodie, sitting outside in front of trees with browning leaves.
2 - a pink graphic with a photo of lala and text reading, “SEVERELY DISABLED QUEER AND TRANS COMMUNITY MEMBER URGENTLY IN NEED OF SURVIVAL FUNDS.
Latrell has ME/CFS, a severe disease that leaves them mostly homebound and bedbound. Against his better judgement, he has been pushing himself to work because he’s struggling to afford very basic needs.
My baseline has been decreasing as I’ve neglected my health by working to afford my basic needs. PEM-a symptom of ME/CFS-has been causing me heart palpitations, flu-like symptoms, extreme fatigue, and more. Working with the current condition my body is in is to the detriment of my long-term health and well-being. I am in need of on-going support so I can continue affording my bills without making myself sicker.
VN / CA: AUTIESHAWTIE, PP/Z: [email protected]”
3 - a mantle turned altar, with photos of a baby lala, lala’s grandmother and a young lala with their grandparents. beside the photos are a blue candle, nearly fully melted, selenite, rose quarts, twinkly lights, care bear figurines and other little trinkets and memorabilia.
🧛🏼 happy season of freaks :-3
how’ve y’all been enjoying gay christmas? do you plan to dress up or celebrate halloween this year? any other plans for the season?
I, personally, had my second in-person drag performance doing gay vampire activities ~ and I’ve been eating a lot of ham and cheese chowder 🥣
♡
image description:
1-3: a series of Lala in drag makeup and a black curly wig showing off their vampire fangs.
goodbye, summer 🩵 i’ll miss you, dearly. thank you for blessing me with so much love. now, to ease into the tenderness of autumn 🧡
♡
feel free to tell me what love you’re surrounded by or filled with? or who/what you love :-)
i’ll start: my friends of course! but also, art. i’ve been writing so much, lately. mostly to cope with hard times but, writing, nonetheless and i am so proud of the love i’m able to create for myself through storytelling 📝🌷
♡
image descriptions:
1. A rocky shoreline.
2. A pink and purple graphic reading, “K+ and C are a Black queer couple asking for support in their move! Please help them attain safe, stable housing! Goal: $1000 CA: cgab27 V: calebg727”
3. Lala and Mari standing in dirt.
4. Lala with the rest of the cast of The Messenger by Cheyenne Wyzzard-Jones.
5. Lala holding a bouquet of flowers with Kiana, Nico, David and Tizzy after The Messenger.
6. Lala and Sapph sitting on the ground and hugging
7. Lala and Michaela sitting on the ground and hugging.
8. V, Nico and August smiling on the beach.
9. Nico and Kiana laughing in the living room.
10. Tizzy squatting by David and Lala sitting on the train.
11. A mirror selfie of Lala as lore the muppet, Niko as Fafa Fina and Des as Des Demonic, all in drag.
12. Kiana, Nico, Lala and Barakah sitting outside at the park.
13. V, Nico and Lala sitting in the car.
14. Tizzy smiling and screaming at Lala pointing a crab claw at them; August stands behind them, laughing.
15. V, Lala, Des and August try to fit into a photo booth together.
16. August, Des and Lux standing in the ocean.
17. Lala, Des, Tizzy and August pose for a toothy-smiled group selfie.
18. Tizzy and Lala at their 2000s themed rent party.
19. Nico, Lala, Des and V sitting on the grass at the summer Indigenous Art Market.
20. Another rocky shoreline.
