Twelfth Night, or What You Will
By William Shakespeare
I couldn’t be more full of gratitude that this chapter has found its way into my journey as an artist. Once, I believed my voice wouldn’t be enough to carry into the boundless night air of Austin Gardens. Past those ear piercing cicadas & distant fireworks. I kept trying desperately to step into shoes marked with my name, yet they never seemed to fit. Life kept throwing me through changes—just stable enough to ground myself, just chaotic enough to dissolve into another character like Sebastian. The confusion and stable chaos never really left fr.
A week before closing, I spoke with an older actor who had played Sebastian in the 1976th prod.— decades before my time at OPFT. Something he said that stayed with me was that lil “or what you will.” after the main title is the ultimate gesture of freedom. The freedom to shape your own rendition of this character apart from the thousands before you, to make of it what you will. Interpretation belongs to the beholder and the audience can take from the play what they will. And in that spirit, I am every bit as valid in this role, even with the trials and tribulations of my own life. “A twin is both yourself and not yourself two lives running side by side, reflecting the same heart.”
This whole cast has been incredible. To be surrounded by such thoughtful, intelligent, and inspiring individuals has been a blessing. They’ve probably seen me at both my best and my worst, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that. Even on the days when the sun soaked through my shirt and turned it translucent, I wouldn’t trade that discomfort for anything—not the beetle in the ear, not the harassing dragonflies. Those were the moments I understood why people pour their blood, sweat, and tears into passion. I need performance art to survive, and I wouldn’t survive without performing. I’ll never get enough of the post-show car ride debriefs, the endless laughter on and off stage, the ear-gouging cicadas or the bloodthirsty mosquitos.
Photo credit:
@drawingfromusic 
