Received the news when I wasn’t expecting it. Uncle Bernard was always an enigma to me as I was to him. He was bold, demanding samples of champagne and refusing opened bottles. He flew back for holidays even as he got older. He read my poetry even if he found it odd. Pretty sure he got banned from Brazil. He was the first African-American to gain Australian citizenship, left med school to design fashion, joined a dance troupe, and befriended the likes of James Baldwin and Maya Angelou. Both he and my grandfather were men of integrity and strength, they were survivors. He was funny, inspiring, and enjoyed life to the fullest.
Lucky, or unlucky, hoping you all have luck this year. No write-up today, literally making corned beef and Irish soda bread. We’ll call this a light break. But if inspiration hits I have to sits.
While the Gabby Petito case came with its own controversy of where resources are placed for missing persons, it’s important to expose people to what abuse can look like. The famous clip of the cops interviewing the couple is an example of reactive abuse. Reactive abuse is when the abuser pushes the victim to the breaking point and the victim finally lashes out or defends themselves. Oftentimes abusers will film this, get it in text, or make it public to isolate the victim by painting them as the abuser. Make no mistake, the victim is not at fault for staying. They do not want to be abused. But victims often return to their abusers due to fear, stress, or necessity. Sometimes abusers will use other people to get the victim back. Victims often live with shame. Abuse survivors are more likely to end up in more abusive relationships, and issues like ADHD can impact that.
