Nathalie

Queens NYC bb 🇨🇴 > Long Island > New Paltz > NYC > BERLIN 🇩🇪 …it honestly hasn’t hit me yet, but carrying 4 overweight checked bags has 😵‍💫 bye bye New York ✌🏽come visit me please ♥️

I’m in so much pain. Not even sure how to process today without you. Our family feels so unbalanced. I’d give anything in the world for my mandatory “mom told me to tell you happy birthday text”. It hasn’t even been a week without you. I lost my baby brother 5 days ago. I’ll tell you, he was the funniest, sweetest and most artistic person in the world. Funny as in, I was waiting for him to go into stand up. His delivery was everything. The biggest heart with no ego. Could out anime-draw me for days. Out of my entire family he was my favorite. Watching you with the babies in our family brought so much joy to everyone, so gentle. You would have been the best dad. You were so fun and I loved every conversation we’ve ever had. Finally — someone else in the family obsessed with the most random dorky and weird dark humor. I miss watching Anime/ATHF/Unsolved Mysteries with you and our favorite movie Moulin Rouge. I miss talking about UFOs, zombies, Nessie, serial killers and ghosts with you. But please don’t leave us in the dark basement “turn on the light!”. I love that we wouldn’t miss an opportunity to scare each other by describing something evil in the boiler room and hanging up/running upstairs before the other one. I wished so many things for you Nicky. I know I wasn’t home enough and I’m sorry we didn’t spend as much time together in the end. I wish you were still here with me. The world is so tough and I’m sorry it wasn’t kinder. You deserved a much longer life of making everyone laugh. Know we all loved you so much. So proud of you. I hope we all become softer and more present as we mourn you my little baby. Make Nana and the rest of the family laugh up there until we can hang out again. I promise I’ll watch your "idol" Gordon Ramsay ...all 18 seasons. Can you watch Queer Eye Japan like you promised for me still? I still can’t process that you’re gone, and I don’t know how long it will take me. But please if you come back to say hi 👻 ...please don’t scare me. I know you’re gonna. I love you so much Nicolitas. Everyone knew you were mommy’s favorite but really, you were also mine. 💔 . PS. Mr.Peony is in good hands. He’s only bit me once.

Dear Jeanie, You were the best Valentine’s Day gift of my life. I wish you could understand how much I love you. I wish you could hear how much I brag about how cute you are to my friends, or strangers. Or see the amount of times I pull out my phone to say “Look at this cuuute photo of Jean! She’s perfect.” I love all your little quirks. When you walk around in a circle before you poop. The need to move, and mess up the perfectly folded blankets on your bed before you lay down. The way you stubbornly lay down and sunbathe in the middle of crowded sidewalks and won’t move. And the urge to always immediately put your head in my lap after slurping down water that’s now dripping from your jowels. But with as much fun and love that you give me, I wish you understood that sometimes I don’t like it when you lick my face. When someone is over, don’t jump on them. A bath isn’t a scary thing, and you should enjoy it! Because you smelly (in a good way). Lastly, I wish you understood that you don’t have to sleep in the middle of the bed and take over the covers. Thank you for the late night cuddles, licking my tears when life becomes too much and always being beyond happy when I get home. Thank you for forgiving me when I get home late. You’re the best for never leaving my side when I’m sick and for letting me vent to you when I have a bad day. I’m sorry for any time I decided to go out instead of spending the night in with you. I hope you know that no matter how many pee accidents you have, I will always love you. I hope you know that no matter how many other dogs you can smell on my clothes, you’re still my favorite. I wish you would believe me when I tell you the rain isn’t the worst. Lastly, I wish you would understand that the broom is not going to hurt you! Most of all, I want to thank you for being my best friend. I have never met anyone who cares for someone as much as you care for me. I don’t thank you enough for all that you truly do. I am lucky to have your love, trust and loyalty. I wish you could read this letter to truly know that you are my world. I love you so much, Jean. Love, Mommy P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day Jeanie ♥️ you mean everything to me.

NYC Video Diary: March ‘26. Came back with a broken ankle… still broken.🫡💌

Grapes workin’ overtime this new year 🤌🏽🍇💗 {Berlin/Prague/Hamburg}

Berlin Video Diary: 📹🎄Holidays Edition (one would think I’d be better about posting on time)

November in Tasmania + mumcat 📸 miss you like crazy. @bamybandersen

Hello, it’s me [2026]

August made a hard play to move me back to NYC ♥️ SO grateful to my friends who made the visit happen 🫶🏽 Wish I could be home for the holidays, love & miss you all an insane amountttttt 😮‍💨🥹🥰

The Dreyfus Affair: Accidently lived in Australia for 3 months 🥲 Now I’ve got an Aussie slang book to publish… Miss you cunts 🖤

End of Berlin summer: pass the tylenol please 💊🫶🏽

Throwin’ all my bennies in the pokies and never coming back 🦇🇦🇺