Dear Xindi, December 2024 in Chiang Dao
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Being curious about someone or something is the base from which any creative work begins. In Xindi, I am finding a lot of what is present in my life and it has been a wonderful and challenging journey over the past two years, translating her being and expression into images. Thank you Xindi!
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@xindichen11
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#lensculture #thinkverylittle #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #analogfeatures #analoguepeople #kodakfilm #ignant #hurtlamb #heyfsc #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #mediumformatportrait #hasselblad500cm #dancer #contemporarydance #contactimprovisation #chinese #kodakportra
Tongge, January 2024 in Chiang Dao
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@tonggekang
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During the InSpiral programs, I met some beautiful souls and Tongge is a very special one. I am in love with her optimistic playful approach to life and its difficulties. Meeting her and other dancers from China inspired me to visit it early 2025.
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#mediumformatportrait #filmphotography #mediumformatfilmphotography #lifeframer #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #analogue_people #analogueportraits #analogportrait #mediumformatfilm #ignant #hurtlamb #thinkverylittle #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #analogfeatures #hasselblad500cm #kodakportra #dance #contactimprovisation #dancer #chinese
Will, December 2023 in Chiang Dao.
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I took this portrait during InSpiral, a five week Contact Improvisation intensive by @towards.contact
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Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing the dance with you.
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#dance #contactimprovisation #towardscontact #portrait #hasselblad500cm #kodakportra #kodakprofessional #dancemagazine #
Nepal, February 2018
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'We have Wifi' is a journey through the Annapurna mountain region in the crisp cold of winter when the paths are nearly empty and so becomes the mind. Thank you for following the journey.
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See the full series on my website: /wehavewifi
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#35mmfilm #analogcolor #dreamermag #analoguefilm #lifeframer #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #insomniamag #ignant #hurtlamb #heyfsc #phroommagazine #burnmagazine #thinkverylittle #fisheyelemag #back2thebase #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #nepal #nikonfm2 #kodakportra
Nepal, February 2018
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I spend two nights at the high camp, the last stop before the Thorong La pass at 5400 meter above sea level. It’s somewhat funny that up here, where I feel so far away from everything else in the world with nothing but rocky mountains around, there is electricity for the first time. With that, the atmosphere in the house changes. The men running the house gather around the TV. The off world romantic that I felt all along the way, cracks and suddenly I’m back in the late 20th century.
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/wehavewifi
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#35mmfilm #analoguefilm #haftakeover #gupmagazine #lifeframer #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #ignant #hurtlamb #heyfsc #phroommagazine #burnmagazine #thinkverylittle #fisheyelemag #back2thebase #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #kodakportra #nepal #nikonfm2
Nepal, February 2018
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One day, I come by a buddhist monastery. Nobody seems to be there, just a solar charger connected to a smartphone hints to someones presence. Through one of the windows, I can spot a few dog puppies in a messy room. When I was a teenager, I romaticised this religion with its monks in red robes, mystic rituals and singing. Up here, in this monastery and others I came by on my journey, this image cracked. The monasteries are often the buildings in best shape, next to a row of the housings of ordinary people. They’re separated by high walls and barbwire.
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As the air gets thinner in higher altitude, vegetation disappears completely. I am impressed by the people living up here and their stoic efforts to produce food and have everything carried up here that cannot be grown from their animals dung. Away from the main tourist treck which is empty in this season anyways, it really feels like a time machine where things haven’t changed much for hundreds of years.
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/wehavewifi
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#35mmfilm #analogcolor #dreamermag #analoguefilm #lifeframer #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #littlerivermag #ignant #hurtlamb #phroommagazine #burnmagazine #thinkverylittle #fisheyelemag #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #analogfeatures #nepal #nikonfm2 #kodakportra
Nepal, February 2018
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I keep on reaching higher grounds, using any opportunity to walk away from the beaten path. Some days, I decide to stop and stay for a day while staring at incredible mountain panoramas, thinking to myself „Why rush? This is what I came here for, to just be“
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/wehavewifi
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#35mmfilmphotographer #narrativephotography #dreamermag #dreamermagazine #analoguefilm #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #analogue_people #upgradetofilm #ignant #hurtlamb #heyfsc #burnmagazine #thinkverylittle #back2thebase #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #nikonfm2 #kodakportra #nepal
Nepal, February 2018
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All I wanted was quiet time away from the world. Wake up, walk, eat, meditate, sleep, repeat. Away from noise, from all things digital and anybodies opinions about anything. The Himalayas promise to be a host for all those who are seeking silence. Also promised everywhere along the way was free WiFi and luckily, this promise was not kept.
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I find myself on empty paths in mystic landscapes that feel like scenes from a Japanese Manga movie today and the Canadian wilderness tomorrow but not at all what one would expect the Himalayas would look like. It is February, the air is clean and in the often sunny days it is a pleasure to wander through these magical landscapes. But when the night approaches and the sun sinks behind the mountains, the cold sets in. Only a few of the guesthouses are open, and I would be lucky if the oven was heated up for me and maybe a handful of other guests. We gather around the fire like in ancient times. A WiFi connection is advertised everywhere but due to a problem with the hydro power station it is never available all along the valley. No TV running, nobody sinking into worlds far away through their phone. Whoever is present, is present.
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/wehavewifi
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#35mmfilmphotographer #analogcolor #dreamermag #analoguefilm #lifeframer #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #hylasmag #ignant #hurtlamb #thinkverylittle #fisheyelemag #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #analogfeatures #nepal #nikonfm2 #kodakportra
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Nepal, February 2018
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You move on, I stay. There is no reason to rush for an arrival since all I was hoping to find is already all around and in me. Vast land and silence, surrounded by mountains that make me grasp at my tininess in space and time. Sitting in front of this giant, majestic wall of ice I am thinking that long after all the humans on this planet have left - it will still be here, slowly growing up into the sky. It is relaxing to see the irrelevance of my own life from a bigger perspective. It makes me realise that the importance I think my life has - is something I learnt to believe in, and letting go of it, I feel incredibly light.
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I longed for the loneliness up here, surrounded by nature with only the most simple task of walking up into thinner air. Away from abstract online connectivity, away from weed, alcohol and away from others to share with. I continue to choose the pain that comes with disconnection and reveals the core inside of me that everything else is built upon.
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/wehavewifi
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#35mmfilmphotographer #analogartists #analogcolor #analoguefilm #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #ignant #hurtlamb #thinkverylittle #fisheyelemag #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #analogfeatures #nepal #nikonfm2 #kodakportra
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Nepal, February 2018
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I am taking the step onto unknown shores. Since the moment I set sail from solid ground on the other side of that ocean I had already decided to look for a new land, without a way back. It has always been a scary act but one that leads to growth and expansion for those who have decided that life back there is not worth continuing with. It felt so worthless back there that I would have died inside. I needed to start a journey following a spark of hope that there could be a life that feels alive and worth living.
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The time in the hall with the man on speaker came to an end but his words and practice of being in observation with what is, stay with me. I am taking the practice on a journey to the highest mountains in Winter, where I met your coldness. The coldness that has been shaped through years of traveling the globe alone and made callousness a necessity for your survival. All the places you have been, all the souls you have met and let go of again, all the spiritual practice you went through might have grown your ability to be whole within yourself, without the need of others. To me it feels like you don’t care deeply about anything or anybody anymore. I can still sense a trace of that flattering sweetness you once had which has turned into the ruse that define your actions now.
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/realityasitis
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#35mmfilmphotographer #narrativephotography #dreamermag #dreamermagazine #analoguefilm #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #analoguelove #ignant #hurtlamb #thinkverylittle #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #nepal #nikonfm2 #kodakportra
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Nepal, February 2018
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The man on speaker keeps repeating the teaching over and over again. Hearing his monologue is the only contact I have and even though his tone is freaking me out, I choose to listen to his wisdom and give his ideas of how to find a way back to myself a chance. The idea I have of “what is me?” is the first one to be challenged. Everything the ‘I’ has achieved and owns shall not matter anymore. It is its naked potential that needs to be freed from all the layers covering it. Behind the endless, distracting stories of the man on speaker, I find that he is pointing at the core that it all comes down to - accepting reality as it is, not as I would like it to be.
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So here I am, all by myself and without a thing to consume or a way to express. Everything that happens takes place within myself in a motionless body for twelve hours a day, over ten long days. I feel a tiny movement of air on the inside of my nose as my breath flows in, and out and in and out. But at first focusing purely on this sensation for more than a minute seems impossible. My mind wanders everywhere, to connections with loved ones, fights I’ve had, friends I’ve lost, and all the stories from the past that have no inherent reality. It is only the voice inside not accepting what has happened that keeps the past alive and disconnecting me from being in the present. This voice does not trust - it was taught to control, never giving its power away to a guidance bigger than itself.
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It is the hardest path I have ever walked on. The temptation to leave it is enormous and growing every moment. But every single time I choose to stay in the silence - in a fight between the old, and the new to come.
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I accept. All those long, learned and deeply carved beliefs that made me react with fear, anger and hatred begin to shatter and feeling this happen comes with a form of fear again. As if I’m entering a new land without knowing if the tools I am bringing can keep me strong enough to discover this territory. Will I be able to learn something from square one that can replace old beliefs with new ones? Something which can help me to turn the poison into nectar?
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#nepal #nikonfm2
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Nepal, February 2018
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Everything is overdone to the point that nothing feels worth doing anymore. Any contact with another is one too much that I am not able to take in anymore. Every distraction, drug or material I could own fails to bring me higher but just knocks my head to the ceiling of the prison I find myself in. I am alone at this point and being even further away from everything and everybody else in a place far away seems to be the only way to find myself again.
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/realityasitis
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#nikonfm2 #35mmfilmphotographer #analogartists #analogcolor #analoguefilm #haftakeover #gupmagazine #lifeframer #odtakeovers #kodakprofessional #analoguelove #ignant #hurtlamb #thinkverylittle #fisheyelemag #ifyouleave #somewheremagazine #filmisnotdead #analogfeatures #kodakportra #nepal
