Kat Caution

What a day Our track “Another Floor” is finally out. Just a year ago I binged his albums and secretly dreamed of a collab. I’m one of those who believes in manifestations, so when Estan asked me to join him on vocals- I knew that the universe had prepared a fun adventure for us. This year started with many interesting surprises and excitement, bringing me closer to where I imagine myself as a vocalist and illustrator. Big thanks to everyone involved, my partner Julian for being the best and joining us on sax, Luke Graves for sweet drums, and of course the mastermind himself: Estan Beedell 💜 Go check it out on bandcamp, leaving the link in bio;)

Your new friend

Off to dissociation land

Oldie but the feeling is just the same:)

So which one is it?

Authentic people will crave your authenticity 💜💜

This is Maya and she turns 7 today! I will be approaching my 50’s by the time she turns my age, hope we will get to see those days and hope she still thinks I’m cool 😆. If I had a chance to talk to Maya today- I’d tell her this: You are your own person, I have 0 doubts you will grow into whoever you want to be! You have an incredibly strong will! I’m so proud of you when you refuse to do the silly things adults want from you. I hope you will get to experience the world as a child for a long time, without taking on the emotional burdens of grown-ups. I also look back to all our adventures with a chuckle 🙊. The time I told you we had to run somewhere, but you buried your legs in the sand and refused to go🤣), or… when you demanded I took a photo of you next to garbage bags 🤣 (pics attached). I truly enjoy watching you create and our collabs often look fresher than originals🤣 . Even though I don’t know how to show my love to you in affectionate ways or the ways a child might need, or to be consistent, I hope you know that I miss you and am always here for you. Love, big sis💜

This one is to friends!

24 was full of waves. Many friends moved into town, but as many have left. 24 was a year of life changing discoveries: I got my official ADHD diagnosis and realized that I’m most certainly autistic, as well. This brought so much into light. All of the sudden my struggles made so much freakin sense, like never before. In the process of learning about myself I also trauma bonded with other ND’s. (It must be age, haha), but I suddenly softened up and got this magical access to patience and forgiveness. Before my diagnoses, my preferences or sensory overload were often seen as “pickiness”, while I was seen as a little kid who throws on a tantrum when things unpredictably change. This year I learned to forgive and became more patient with boundaries, both mine and others. 24 was also full of anger. Never in my conscious life do I recall boiling alive with anger and hatred as in 2024 , and so this year was full of battles, as well. Battles for independence, freedom, life, acceptance, recognition, autonomy. Making the choice to battle for something that was already resolved in my mind was extremely hard. 24 was painful. Witnessing this much death and genocides on social media is a lot. Having family members on the frontline is also a lot. 2024 was a year my heart bled out and keeps bleeding. Approaching 2025, I find myself surrounded by love, understanding, and support. For that I’m eternally grateful. May we not burn alive this upcoming yer???

A while back I threatened to make this account into a fun place, but first I gotta say a word or two about surviving narcissistic abuse. Recovery takes a long time and baby steps are better than nothing. If you deal with someone who inserts themselves in everything you do, who hates the idea of you having privacy, who stops you from doing shit you love, from personal growth, from having friends, from having own projects, from having your own income, from having any sort of meaningful connection outside of that relationship, and everything is always your fault and never theirs- you might’ve encountered a narcissist. They are someone who surprisingly have too much influence in your life, someone who erases your accomplishments and presents them as theirs. These people often say that you would be fucked without their generosity (WRONG). Situations are different, red flags are not. If you never felt heard, if your concerns are swept under the rug, if your gut tells you that something is wrong, but they say you’re crazy for even considering this…. 🚩🚩 🚩 Bad news- you have to come up with a plan to leave their field of influence asap and it might even mean quitting your job or moving cities. Why? Because they are beyond help. You can’t save them and no, having them in your life is not a lesson, it’s a torture. They are committed to play the pretend game and it is not your responsibility to comply. They are convinced that your only purpose in life is to serve them and it is WRONG. Good news- life without them will be a breath of fresh air. Karma will take care of their punishment. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. You are worthy of being treated for the gem you are, don’t let anyone treat you like shit. You might not be in the future you worry about, so.. time to get a life is now. My piece of advice: If that’s you- tell someone, let them help you pack and leave. I wish you to have a life 💜. This was my piece of mind, you can find more helpful insights and directions @narcabusecoach Any resources are legit, but Danish’s stuff resonates with me the most.

Is it time for new year resolutions yet?