This is the last photo my dad and I took together before he passed in 2019. He was being treated for cancer in Germany, and it looked like he was coming home in a few days. So I said goodbye and looked forward to his return to LA. The clinic he was at wanted to do one last treatment, and they fucked up. I returned to Germany and held my dad while he took his last breath. This was one of his favorite songs, and I played it as he passed away. I couldn’t stop thinking of my dad tonight. For years, my dad used to say that he worried about me. He never explicitly stated what it was, but I always knew that he wanted me to be successful and happy. Being an entrepreneur is fraught with highs and lows. It’s a life that lacks stability. Akira was young, and the trajectory of his life was unclear. I knew that weighed on him. In the year leading up to his death, my dad and I had some of the most revealing and powerful moments together. As his illness progressed, I had my own pain. I didn’t want him to leave this world worried about me. Three days before we took this picture, out of the blue, he told me he wasn’t worried about me anymore. He saw something in our last days together. I cried myself to sleep that night. At that time, his health was improving, so I figured we could discuss it further when he returned from Germany. That never happened, as I sit here and I think about the gift of his being my father and the unwavering support he gave me, I can’t stop thinking of our last moment, his last breath, and that we were complete. The day he passed, my family was in a bit of disarray. Our father had passed away in a foreign country, and there was a lot of complexity associated with it. Jamie called some friends in LA, and we were introduced to
@christianangermayer . This generous man sent his private doctor across Germany to help facilitate my father's return home. Why do I mention this? Christian is the co-founder of ATAI. Years ago, this act of generosity brought him into my life. We have never met or spoken, but I was reminded of him tonight as I thought about my dad. Thank you, Christian. Dad, you're in my heart so much today. I feel your spirit. Miss you pops.