TOP SURGERY MOODBOARD. BRIGHT BEAUTIFUL EFFERVESCENT. DESTROYER. WE WILL DESTROY SO BRIGHTLY SO BEAUTIFULLY SO EFFERVESCENTLY.
Let me try and get close to this for a minute. Struggling (?) at the very extreme intersections of public/private. Aren’t we all.
What do I really feel? Love, shame, humiliation, grace. My perfect wonderful Adrien has put this wee fundraiser together because I couldn’t quite. It gets so hard, carrying yourself around all the time. I’m sick and tired of ‘understanding,’ that dreaded, embedded logic of ‘empathy,’ which only creates grotesque and violent hierarchies as far as I can tell. I don’t want to enter into any deals. I want to assert my body, just between a You and a Me. 💋💋Pairs of Perverts. 💋💋 All the time. The whole world. I feel lucky to be who I am and to have a friend like Adrien, and to be alongside anyone who feels like they could help get me closer. Knowing exactly what you need is so wild!? And to have that need met is a cosmic feeling.
This has been such a slow process, so much to undo and redo, and God when you come out the other side, that sun on your face. I’ll spend my whole existence trying to explain that sun!!! And won’t be able to!!! 😎 There’s the huge sweep of grace, in such failure. Those that know, really know. Where we get to stand.
One of the many harsh realities is surgery (it’s a big chest under there, so most likely it will be two surgeries) is going to be expensive. The bare costs so far are around 13,000. I’m putting together what I can because I can’t think about anything else anymore. It shocks me now how long I’ve lived like this. But I’m also crying because I’m extremely happy. And hormones. It’s all of it, the thing entire. Don’t we all have a tendency to be so hard on ourselves, as if we can predict our own lives!!! We get down on our knees for Bernadette, ‘Do not be afraid of your own heart beating’
From the bottom of My Wretched Soul. In love!!! xxxxxxx
Mrs S is out in paperback today!!! proud to have written this gay book and proud to lead a gay little life, esp in a climate that wants the worst for us / trans lives are simply superior!!!!!! I’ll never be sorry!!!! / and to quote @shon.faye on grid ‘trans liberation is queer liberation is p@lestini@n liberation’ / let’s not fk up this pride month eh / so much love to everyone who has cared about this book, I’ll never get used to it / 🌹🌹🌹😭😭😭
unprecedented day of posting but this just arrived! Out 7th March and ready to romance. I’m feeling gorgeous and clichéd: poems make me and break me. This process was a total joy, thanks to thinking alongside golden genius @rachaelvallen who just makes every single thing better. Oh my god! Poems 🐛🐥👹👀😵💫😇s
😭🤮❤️🌹😍🐛🐥🤠 it is insane to write a book and even more insane to..see the book!? A process that is also horny! also anxiety! In the build-up to the launch it is very hard to coordinate heart and brain, but honestly @angetranvan and @kishani understood me and this book with such immediacy and such care. A very, very rare thing. I’ll basically be saying thank you to them forever, which they will both hate!!! It’s a beautiful debt. People have also taken the time to say and write very meaningful things, and you can all look forward to big gratitude, too! Promise to make it rly intense and awkward! I don’t think I’ll ever feel normal about any of this and I love everybody very much xxx 😭🤮❤️🌹😍🐛🐥🤠
@rosiesdisobedientpress made a beautiful thing! Wait until you feel the grams on this paper! Such a fkn shame to have to cancel this evening, but we will reschedule. These bossy little poems shall have their party! Sound on for the feet in the final slide bopping to what would have been one of the closing bangers. Here’s a little glimpse of the pamphlet, anyway.
