Let’s do a quick recap of this before I put this away for anyone who hasn’t seen it. It’s mostly behaviours you observe (within a relationship to let you know you are dealing with a narcissist. I’ll do another one about when you are outside a more permanent relationship).
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However, please I need to leave a little disclaimer: I make these posts not expecting that anyone takes everything I say verbatim and runs with it. What I mean is, one (who may be dealing with some of these challenges I’ve talked about) must look at their own life to determine if what I’m saying is relevant to them. In life, people can give you advice, but you alone know where and if that advice lines up with the particular situation in your life. What I’ve talked about are understandings from my personal experience and researching and reading up and learning about the experiences of others and also from taking this to God for years. So, I’m sharing all of that but wrapped in a nutshell. However, anyone dealing with this must do their due diligence and think, pray and be guided for themselves. I’m just hoping that by speaking about it, anyone in this situation (who didn’t know what to call it. Yes, a lot of people don’t even know what the name of what they are dealing with is) at least knows what they are dealing with, knows that it is dangerous to their overall well being long term and leaving that for them to come to their own conclusions and decisions on how they want to go forward with that.
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Just thought to mention ❤️
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#narcissist #abuse #explorepage #viralreels❤️
I don’t see you going to marry someone who you didn’t think could better your life one way or the other.
What is good for the goose is also good for the gander. You scratch my back and I scratch yours no mean say make you kpai me because you scratch my back. Some of you end up not even giving your spouses papers, you are so scared after marrying your spouses from Africa that you spend the entirety of your union operating from fear, fear that they want to “use” you. You start a union with schemes, set ups, “covering your backs”, operating from deceit. Oga, just marry the woman in the same country as you and stop looking for a naive person you can manipulate at will.
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#abroadlife #immigrant #marriage #nigerianindiaspora #healthyrelationship
Bro, this is not to judge you or to drag you but to let you know that you are running a script that isn’t working. It is to let you know that you can either do the hard work of self reflection, going to Theraphy to address the way you view women and your behavioural patterns or, you blame everyone else- you make it about the women, capture a fresh victim and repeat the same cycle. If a Nigerian woman chose to leave with her kids than to risk being with you- especially if you are otherwise ok in all ramifications (earning well, well educated, good job- if you look good on paper) - in case anyone says it’s because a man lost their job bla bla bla. If you are ok in all the ramifications the society looks at but your woman left you to protect herself, please go to therapy and address what is happening within you. Not a pastor. A therapist. There are Christian therapists that can help you work through some of the erroneous thought patterns you have which have run your life and have run your union down, you need help addressing that.
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To doing the work that matters 🥂
Judy
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#mentality #mindset #divorce #marriage #community
Jokes aside, I’d just like to to use this opportunity to put this out here to young men like the man speaking.
Please leave married women alone. It saddens me because it means that there were no fathers or responsible males in your life who hammered on this when you were growing up the way it was hammered to young men by older men when we were growing up.
Some things are a taboo. And you say “by who? Isn’t culture set by people?”.
The way I see it, there are laws, universal laws that were set by God. And because they are universal, you will see the law show up in almost all the “religious” sects in life by default- you’ll see it in traditional religion, you’ll see it in Eastern, etc etc. It’s like the law of sowing and reaping, these are universal laws, which show up as different things in different religions and faiths (Sowing and Reaping, Karma etc etc)
We’ve made the jokes we want to make but it would be highly irresponsible to not bring some sanity to this- for young men like this man who may think it’s all vibes and jokes and they go and destroy their destiny. I’ll close this with scriptures that should guide you. Please be guided.
I’ve listed the scriptures that pertain to this in the comments. These warnings about touching another man’s wife appear too many times in scripture to be ignored.
Please be guided 🙏🏾
My last entry into this silent treatment/malice keeping matter- for now. Because it’s clear that A LOT of our men (and even alot of women from posts and comments I’ve seen) don’t understand that it is emotional violence and domestic abuse.
They also don’t see how infantile, immature and small behaviours like that make them. Keeping malice/using silent treatment brings you down from that place of honour where a woman wants to look up to you, to respect you.
You become a small, puny man.
It’s so hard to respect a man who acts so infantile.
So hard.
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Should a woman cheat due to abuse of any kind? No. Should a woman cheat because of silent treatment/malice? No.
Can it happen?
Does this situation put a woman/spouse in a vulnerable place that could cause her/them to cheat? Absolutely!
There is a reason why the Bible speaks about malice Ephesians 4:31-32, 1 Peter 2:1, Colossians 3:8, Titus 3:3.
There is a reason why you do not let the sun go down in your prideful anger and you make amends and repair quickly.
It really should be the man, the leader, putting this in place. He is the leader, the one mandated to love as Christ loved the church that He GAVE the church his life BEFORE the church even loved him back.
Yet, here we are, with sissy men who want to be the church and want the women to be Christ over them, giving of herself, her life, her blood.
I do not support adultery but if you make your wife vulnerable so much so she falls for another man’s attention despite her best intentions, you really have yourself to blame. It’s on you man, sorry.
Sure, she should have ended the marriage before getting involved with another man but if you’ve terrorised this woman emotionally to the point where she is starved and a little attention feels like an oasis, that’s on you bro.
You are a an emotional terrorist and deserve anything you get from her. I said what I said.
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#silenttreatment #emotionalabuse #marriage #infidelity #abuse
My last entry into this silent treatment/malice keeping matter- for now. Because it’s clear that A LOT of our men (and even alot of women from posts and comments I’ve seen) don’t understand that it is emotional violence and domestic abuse.
They also don’t see how infantile, immature and small behaviours like that make them. Keeping malice/using silent treatment brings you down from that place of honour where a woman wants to look up to you, to respect you.
You become a small, puny man.
It’s so hard to respect a man who acts so infantile.
So hard.
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Should a woman cheat due to abuse of any kind? No. Should a woman cheat because of silent treatment/malice? No.
Can it happen?
Does this situation put a woman/spouse in a vulnerable place that could cause her/them to cheat? Absolutely!
There is a reason why the Bible speaks about malice Ephesians 4:31-32, 1 Peter 2:1, Colossians 3:8, Titus 3:3.
There is a reason why you do not let the sun go down in your prideful anger and you make amends and repair quickly.
It really should be the man, the leader, putting this in place. He is the leader, the one mandated to love as Christ loved the church that He GAVE the church his life BEFORE the church even loved him back.
Yet, here we are, with sissy men who want to be the church and want the women to be Christ over them, giving of herself, her life, her blood.
I do not support adultery but if you make your wife vulnerable so much so she falls for another man’s attention despite her best intentions, you really have yourself to blame. It’s on you man, sorry.
Sure, she should have ended the marriage before getting involved with another man but if you’ve terrorised this woman emotionally to the point where she is starved and a little attention feels like an oasis, that’s on you bro.
You are a an emotional terrorist and deserve anything you get from her. I said what I said.
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#silenttreatment #emotionalabuse #marriage #infidelity #abuse
My last entry into this silent treatment/malice keeping matter- for now. Because it’s clear that A LOT of our men (and even alot of women from posts and comments I’ve seen) don’t understand that it is emotional violence and domestic abuse.
They also don’t see how infantile, immature and small behaviours like that make them. Keeping malice/using silent treatment brings you down from that place of honour where a woman wants to look up to you, to respect you.
You become a small, puny man.
It’s so hard to respect a man who acts so infantile.
So hard.
.
.
Should a woman cheat due to abuse of any kind? No. Should a woman cheat because of silent treatment/malice? No.
Can it happen?
Does this situation put a woman/spouse in a vulnerable place that could cause her/them to cheat? Absolutely!
There is a reason why the Bible speaks about malice Ephesians 4:31-32, 1 Peter 2:1, Colossians 3:8, Titus 3:3.
There is a reason why you do not let the sun go down in your prideful anger and you make amends and repair quickly.
It really should be the man, the leader, putting this in place. He is the leader, the one mandated to love as Christ loved the church that He GAVE the church his life BEFORE the church even loved him back.
Yet, here we are, with sissy men who want to be the church and want the women to be Christ over them, giving of herself, her life, her blood.
I do not support adultery but if you make your wife vulnerable so much so she falls for another man’s attention despite her best intentions, you really have yourself to blame. It’s on you man, sorry.
Sure, she should have ended the marriage before getting involved with another man but if you’ve terrorised this woman emotionally to the point where she is starved and a little attention feels like an oasis, that’s on you bro.
You are a an emotional terrorist and deserve anything you get from her. I said what I said.
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#silenttreatment #emotionalabuse #marriage #infidelity #abuse
Gone with the wind 💨.
Next time, try using words
Try connection,
Try gentleness.
Try repairing quickly ❤️
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#emotionalabuse #domesticviolence #marriage #divorce #silenttreatment
It’s how the men in the comments simply choose to run with a closed mind. You cannot be emotionally terrorising your wife and be surprised if another man, an available boo, boos her up. It’s not rocket science.
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Is it right? No. Will it happen? If you keep leading like that and keep putting your wife in that vulnerable place, probably. Even the most God fearing woman who finds herself in that place and continually faces temptation MAY fall.
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I dislike men that leave the matter on ground (your extreme childishness, inability to lead, emotional immaturity, complete irresponsibility) and stay focused on the outcome of your bad behaviour- “she cheated”.
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Grow up. Lead with maturity. Get help. Go to Theraphy.
GROW UP.
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#emotionalintelligence #marriage #infidelity #abuse #malice
Thought I bring this back from last year
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I don’t mean to offend you please but sometimes people need to be told and it’s possible you no longer have anyone in your life who can say it to you so, here goes. Sorry if your feelings are hurt but, please, respectfully, grow up.
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#silenttreatment #emotionalabuse #domesticviolence #malice #communitybuilding
Reposting this from last year. It’s evident that our community don’t realise how terrible and damaging silent treatment and malice keeping is. You don’t need a spouse if you use this, you need to be in Sambisa forest because you are an emotional terrorist.
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Do you keep malice/use the silent treatment when upset? Do you realise that that behaviour is destructive to whatever relationship you are in? Basically, you are wanting that connection to end- are you doing that with that goal in mind or, not minding that that will be the end of that behaviour? What are you thinking when you are keeping malice, have you thought deeply about this “tool” you use?
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#silentreatment #malice #relationships #fyp #explorepage
This is a good time to repost this post I made last year ❤️🙏🏾
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Do you keep malice/use the silent treatment when upset? Do you realise that that behaviour is destructive to whatever relationship you are in? Basically, you are wanting that connection to end- are you doing that with that goal in mind or, not minding that that will be the end of that behaviour? What are you thinking when you are keeping malice, have you thought deeply about this “tool” you use?
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#silentreatment #malice #relationships #fyp #explorepage
