it’s 2016 again.
“if I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.” (ps 139:9-10)
flew 19h to NY and found a poet, not UN legal counsel in the process of completing the final poem in her latest flight of five, which will be featured in her next publication. eyes lighting up at our reunion, moments after tearing them from the screen of just-finished stanzas, half of her (heart/mind/soul) still deep in the writing suite. she had a full night of diplomatic work ahead of her. but first, our first dinner together in months — and it wasn’t haidilao. we proceeded to stay up till 2 (at least I did, she probably slept closer to 5am as usual) lounging in the sofa bed and dissecting the 5 poems, which I am sure will one day be included in the GCSE syllabus (again). I am heartened to learn I deserved an A for my critique, she said.
the next few days descended into a chaos of house-moving (me) and peace-keeping (her) duties, and I wouldn’t see the poet again. the big city is a hard and loud place for a soft soul.
till the next time I’m in the +1: keep your heart tender, Amanda 💜
#truthbeautyfreedomlove
#ipurpleyou
one week of being a diplomat’s PA. this city still scares me, but for Mandy I’m adding NY to my holiday home list, after Tokyo (where Ben is - and I’m heading back to next).
BTS = Born To Swim. thank you to Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkookie for singing this song for me & my #swim saturdays. #borahae #arirang #tannies
🎥 also thank you @lizzlespizzles for filming this dance cover by J-Kwok🤪
I was really scared about today. my vein wasn’t cooperating so I got poked in both arms. and they don’t give us a ball to squeeze anymore for hygiene’s sake. 3 vials, 10 categories of testing. 2 cookies to treat myself. :’)
last slide: also thank you AI for collating my results of 5 years into an incredible trend report, explaining my 21-tests bloodwork (🤪) from today, and giving me all the notes to understand my health. my doctor said my generated report was “so pretty” and made a copy for herself. her only complaints were reserved for my LDL—though my chol/HDL ratio has actually/finally entered a good zone from improving HDL (exercise-driven). this is super hard work, but what a privilege it is to have learnt to properly care for one’s body before old age demands it.
ps. apologies for the “10 years” that Claude insisted on using instead of 8. didn’t manage to catch all of it here.
𝓀𝒶𝒾𝓂𝒶𝓂𝒾𝓇𝓊 is the Japanese concept of garden design, where the most beautiful and intriguing experience comes from seeing between. it is the word that comes closest to explaining what I’ve been contemplating in the quiet threshold of the crossing years.
the most curious thing happened just before the lived year closed, a conversation that had me unexpectedly revisiting a message-writing experience from 2023 and reading Silence+Beauty by Makoto Fujimura. I then discovered that not only had Fujimura and I shared an almost similar museum encounter with the bronze 𝘧𝘶𝘮𝘪-𝘦, more than 3 decades apart, we had both read Shusaku Endo’s book, Silence (where the 𝘧𝘶𝘮𝘪-𝘦 features), and even written on the same theme following that whole experience that clearly gripped us deeply, a transfixion almost. of course, as a brilliant professor and artist, the man wrote a book (the one I’m reading). I merely wrote a sermon. but our shared theme of Ground Zero just cannot be glanced past.
when I met up with my newly married friends to finally report on my vantage point of their wedding in Regensberg, Germany, I shared about the in-betweens: how I wept at my bedside after praying for the message I was about to give, just before heading to the church, and holding back tears as I waited in the pews for the processionals to end so I could go up, overwhelmed not by anxiety but the glory of where God has brought my entire life thus far.
I think what I’m seeing come into frame for the years ahead can be likened to the slow transition when the lens focuses, the dust and debris settle and tears dry. sandwiched, between the failed narratives of my life, my many Ground Zeros, is a life force and source that can only be met in the cleft of the rock. 𝙠𝙖𝙞𝙢𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙧𝙪.
—
🔗 on my medium: “Meet Me at Ground Zero: Absolute Presence in the Sound of Sheer Silence” (full title)
3️⃣ the 𝘧𝘶𝘮𝘪-𝘦 at ACM
ended the year the same way I usually end my wednesdays: core/legs. entered the year with a good last swim in my luteal phase (the girls will get it). at this point it frightens me more to consider how I can be New Year, Same Me—because every new revolution round the sun now means the same routines but new circumstances, new challenges (like that 2-month glute injury…), new changes.
been at this for 5 years now and I don’t think it had anything to do with a New Me. I still get bored fast and love my days looking a little different from each other. maybe I just realised some things, like this, simply require sameness more than jolts of newness whenever the new year begins. and maybe that’s how the difference (in body, in mind, in heart) ensues. still so proud of you, JjK.
happy 2026🌸
another year of swimming in my own lane, showing up almost every saturday morning with my gear, and stripping off my swim-cover with courage no matter who’s watching. the water has been a magical place of rebirth and rhythms, where my tired muscles find rehabilitation from the week’s workouts and my entire body coordinates to keep me moving and breathing. this is both my running and my rest, and I wear its marks with pride. thank you.
—
and thank you to all my swim moms who’ve opened your pools to me and helped apply sunscreen on the far corners of my back multiple times.🏆
my conversation with Grab uncle didn’t have me telling him the Christmas story, but I walked away with tears because this WAS the Christmas story—Christ entering in to our world, into our daily grind/grief. unexpectedly, in the backseat, along the road of human sorrow we are on.
take this as my Hinge submission, your Honour.
⏭️
last slide: I asked AI to make my red blouse (that I’m wearing in every other post) white - it couldn’t resist fixing my hair.
