Erxi. ✨
A interior project that quite special for @erxi.byshuangxi a bar run by @222.muzilee@jin_412 — a vintage nook of this hidden bar in KL , only open at night ; ( swipe left for some details <— ) ✨🌙🫗 .
Interior photos captured by @twkphotography.studio 📸
#chasinglight #gfx50sii #moodgram #fujifilmmy pot
When I was younger, i had all sorts of what a kid would have:
complex emotion, depression, rebellion etc etc.
The only thing I always looked forward to is my own birthday on 11th April.
Ridiculous days of celebration, all sorts of fun.
Then one day when I was 25-26 I think, I had a conversation with my mum, a rare open-hearted one,
and I found out how much pain she had back then trying to have the baby me delivered, to a point she’s unable to get pregnant anymore.
Her birthday is on the 12th, and she saw me as a gift to her birthday, so she was alright with all the pain, she said.
My mum doesn’t like expressing her thoughts, which’s why it took me awhile to take in all she said that day.
Since that day, I use Jin_412 wherever I need to fill up anything, and I am on a journey of making myself better,
providing love to the people around me.
I don’t see myself as Jin on 11th April, I see myself as mum’s present now
Thanks for giving birth to me, and all those slaps to humble me, loving me unconditionally and making me who I am now. 🫶🏻
First time explaining my username so here you go hehe.
All love to those whom love me, appreciate y’all as well, but I’m with my mum and dad now, so I can only find these photos hehe. 🫶🏻
𓈖⋱⋰∷𓏫 ∷⋰ ⋱ 𓏪 𓏪 ⋰ 𓈖
003 In Time_ 28.10.2023
Another tiring but mega fun one with @jin_412 and the fire team.
When our visions unite, the force became incredibly powerful,
and I love it.
𓆝
001 Continuum_ 16.09.2023
another one of my personal favourite 🪼
bringing our visions came to life with @jin_412 and the fire team is always rewarding.
𓆑
002 生無可戀_ 07.10.2023
I came across these footages last night while cleaning my library and thought to share it before 2024 ends.
We’ve always been not so great at sharing what we do, and the funniest part is that many of my friends or even people who love visiting our homeground Shuangxi don’t actually know what we do.
P.S. I really enjoy working on installations for artists we love with my team especially my buddy @jin_412 . It’s such a fulfilling feeling to see artwork come to life from your imagination. More to come x
//
So, I’ll start sharing more when I feel comfortable :) I primarily handle branding, design, and the virtual aspects of our establishment, and I enjoy working on installations and curating for exhibitions and subculture events.
Some years ago, I was diagnosed with Topical Steroid Withdrawal. caused by steroid overuse for an excessive period of time that caused my immune system to crash entirely; I was born with one malfunctioned kidney, and it was a medication needed in order to keep me alive.
All this aside, I want to share more about myself today. I would say this was the lowest point of my life so far, as I was consistently avoiding eye contact with whoever I bump into, and I’m always apologizing for flaking or causing issues to my friends around. So most of the time, I’ll just stay home.
This illness causes 24/7 inflammation and skin flaking, which makes me feel embarrassed and sorry all the time, and this illness recurs once every 1-2 years, each time took 3-4 months to recover. Some friends wondered why I seldom hang out and why I’m always so serious about things, especially when it comes to my passion or goal, so this is the reason why. I chill, I relax, but every year, i have only 7-8 months to go after my dreams, and also to earn the money I need; as every time this happens, it will use up almost all my money for medication, supplements, treatments, healthy diets etc. That sorta explains why I’m “weird” and “serious” all the time, because I’m trying to make the most out of what I have now.
Now, I’m actually quite grateful that I have this, it taught me a lot. Throughout the years, I’ve seen my loved ones giving all they have to love me unconditionally, buying me supplements I need, cooking for me, massaging me 24/7 (TSW causes muscle stiffness and edema), helping with my wet wrap treatment, handling my business; friends and family who flew in from other countries to guest spot, all taking care of me like a baby, buying me meals, coffee, walking around with me just to make me feel better. Of course I had friends who evaded or took advantage of me, but at this point, none of them is worth remembering now, as I’m always filled with love.
This is just one chapter of my life, and I think I’m slowly achieving my peace because of the love I received. There were times I was very suicidal, but it’ll always be just parts of process. Eventually, love does beat everything.
