Jami Nakamura Lin

Last night I won the Chicago Review of Books Award for Nonfiction, a bright spot in what has been a very rough few months for me, full of loss. I'll write/post more about that later, but for now I'll say-- I sign every book "through all the griefs and joys" and this reminds me how true it is-- how these feelings are often intertwined. I didn't even want to go last night at first because I was so tired and I had to fly out to my grandma's funeral the next morning. I was sure I wouldn't win. But I dragged myself out, with my mother and husband to bolster me, and had such a great time with so many people-- reminding me of the deep and lovely Chicago literary community. The Night Parade came out over a year ago, and to win so long after is a delight and an honor, and a remembrance that books continue on long after the debut season is over. Congratulations to all the other nominees and winners, and thank you so much to @chicagorevbooks and @storystudio_chicago !

recently the night parade and i have been given such a bounty— a trifecta of starred reviews from Publishers Weekly , Kirkus Reviews, and Library Journal, mentions in @sfchronicle and @bostonglobe , a feature in poets and writers and more. but as i wrote in the book, the sea gives and the sea takes, and right now the sea has very literally taken my book! The Night Parade is stuck on a cargo ship somewhere between Italy and here, and so unfortunately the pub date is pushed back two weeks, to 11/7. (that this happened to a book that talks about the power of the ocean, published by an imprint called Mariner— what can you do but laugh.) luckily our chicago launch party on 10/28 will get a special shipment and will still have books for sale—details on all our fall events (chicago, madison, twin cities, new york) very soon. (thank you to @cori.lin.art , party planner extraordinaire) mood pre-pub has been up and down as the waves, but in the past few weeks I’ve been feeling much steadier (for now!! Check back next week!!) who can reckon with the sea or the mercurial winds of lit world? I just know that I love what we made. Today I held the one finished copy for the first time. It was so heavy—that paper is THICK—and so, so beautiful. (thanks to my blurbers, to vanessa hua @mononoke97 and victor yang for providing me with pictures of my book’s appearance in their hometown papers, my grandpa for showing me the SF chronicle on zoom, and to my family and all the friends/group chats keeping me afloat, including @sdelma and @jmwillz and the entire @trellisliterary & @marinerbooks teams)

🔊 sound on!! -- #TheNightParade galley reveal disguised as a @florenceandthemachine "Free" music video 👹👹 feat. 3 full years of writing, 2 years of @cori.lin.art 's illustrating, 8 years of research, 17 years of thinking, a lot of dancing, a lot of crying, hundreds of therapy hours, thousands of pills, and hundreds of thousands of words. galley/ARC (advanced reader copy) reveals are so joyful--seeing all our years of work in physical form for the first time-- but I also wanted to show the extreme highs and lows that it took to get here!! writing and releasing a book, esp a memoir, is stressful under the best of circumstances esp when you are bipolar/ADHD and writing about grief & haunting 💀💀 I still can't believe I did this and survived (both writing the book and making the reel, which took me 20x longer than any self-respecting gen z) again, THE NIGHT PARADE: A SPECULATIVE MEMOIR, illustrated by @cori.lin.art , releases on October 24 from @marinerbooks /@harpercollins in the US and on October 26 from @scribepub in the UK! you can (and should) pre-order the book now from your local indie bookstore or @bookshop_org -- & it's also available at Barnes and nobles, Amazon, & anywhere else!! ❤️❤️

Seven years after Breakfast was served, it's finally time for Second Breakfast. I can't believe it. it's hibernation season here in Chicago, and I've accidentally taken it extra seriously this year: hiding out from events, social media, group chats (😬), my novel (😬😬)  while focusing on one main thing: this pregnancy.  I'm 22 weeks now. it still feels tenuous after the three miscarriages in the last year-- four miscarriages total. Saw so many doctors, did so many tests, got no good answers.  We were all geared up to start IVF this past October. I didn't think it would work. I don't have hope anymore, I told my mother. I still have hope, she said. You'll have to hope for me, I said. But in August, I got pregnant again. I thought it would be temporary, like all the rest; I thought it would just delay our IVF. but this girl stuck around, propped up by many doctors and protocols and progesterone, by our fertility clinic, my two therapists, the prayers and love of family and friends, by my husband who did everything including make me a fancy fruit and cheese plate every night to resuscitate me after I puked. by the God I cried to over and over. by our daughter who sings to her every morning and every evening, her hand on my belly. This pregnancy has been so hard on my body and mind. It's been seven years since my pregnancy with A and I feel every single one of those years in my hips!!! thankful to have a great perinatal psychiatrist who let me stay on my meds, including my adderall--its making such a big difference compared to last time. (Happy to talk to anyone about recurrent miscarriage or mental illness or ADHD+pregnancy-- just email me because I rarely check insta and don't check DMs!)  17 or 18 more weeks. I feel scared all the time; it feels impossible that it could work out. She's kicking me vigorously now as I write this, as if to say: get a bigger imagination.

"Skateboarding from First to Last", a film by Aki* *aka after one month of classes, she told me "put this on Instagram!!" and had a very specific music/stickers vision and also wanted to be on my main page

It's now my year-- the Year of the Snake. I'll be 36 soon. In another timeline, I'd be giving birth next month. In still another timeline, I'd be giving birth in July. In this timeline, I had my second and third miscarriages and now am undergoing a lot of testing for recurrent pregnancy loss (RPL), and have over time given enough vials of blood to satisfy at least two vampires. I get pregnant very easily, but staying pregnant is hard. So far the testing hasn't given any answers, and we are being referred to a reproductive endocrinologist at a fertility center who can hopefully tell us more. I don't know what is going to happen next; I hate not knowing. Only 1% of people have 3 + miscarriages, and it sucks no matter what--but it sucks in another different way when you are bipolar and ADHD and every pregnancy means completely changing your medicine regimen, which is so life-upheaving, and then having to change it back after the loss. Through this time I've been so thankful for the kinds of support I didn't have in my earlier full-term pregnancy. The mentor I was assigned through Postpartum International, who has both bipolar and a history of loss. My perinatal psychiatrist and wellness team at Dahlia Center. And I'm thankful for Illinois' reproductive rights, which means in all of my miscarriages I was able to access the medication and surgery I needed easily without hoops or legal issues. And always for the deep support and prayers and food of my family and friends, and the ability to float in His peace when needed. It's been a rough last few months-- the news, every day, is a new devastation-- including the death of our beloved grandmother, on our Okinawan side, who is holding my daughter's hand in the first photo-- and the anniversary of our dad's death. Next week we are going to New Zealand, to scatter his ashes in a place he loved. I don't know how long grief season will last, for me or for us all. I do know that there has been a lot of joy in it too-- which did not cancel out the grief, or make it worth it, but I am so grateful for the laughter too. The Year of the Snake. I do not know if it will be upward but it will be onward.

it's **back to school season** -- break those pencils & notebooks out and join me! I'll be teaching a virtual six-week class on Fabulist and Speculative Nonfiction at @writing.colab (link in bio!)! By speculating, we can bend time and space to get at a truth closer to our own subjective experience. In this generative class, we’ll discuss the expansive possibilities and definitions of the genre, learn specific craft techniques, and play with the freedom it offers (particularly for those of us from marginalized communities) to challenge and renegotiate society’s definitions of reality!! In November, I'll be joining the spectacular @julia.r.fine , @misss_read , @profebaez and others at @storystudio_chicago 's in-person Writers Festival-- we'll be playing with shape & form to unlock our memoir & essay potential! feel free to ask any questions, & hope to see you there!

One of the best things about researching and writing The Night Parade was getting deeper into Uchinaanchu / Okinawan community, both here in Chicago and across the nation. I'm so excited to get to do this event tomorrow (3pm central time, 1pm Pacific) with the Okinawa Association of America @oaamensore -- to get to be in conversation with @shoyamagushiku , author of the recent book SHIMA, and @pidginguerrilla and many others. Thanks so much @shimaplaylist and @shimanchupodcast ! Register at tinyurl.com/findingokinawa24

Happy birthday, Dad!! You would have been 63 today.* Your family all gathered and we did a doujian/youtiao toast to you, and to five years since you've been gone. (You had the BABIEST tolerance for alcohol-- lying down after eating those chocolates with the cherry cordial inside-- so toasting with your fav foods instead was apt.) We went to Wonton Gourmet and got the beef chow fun with Chinese broccoli, extra crispy, just like you liked it, and ate all your favorite chiu quon bakery sweets, and watched all the old videos of you. We laughed and laughed and cried and cried. You died on December 28, and our bodies have been feeling it come for the past two months. The grief pulling at us even when we don't know the cause. "Are you happy crying?" your granddaughter asked me. "No, it's sad crying, because of grief," I told her. "No, it's happy crying," she said. "It's sad crying because I miss your Agon," I explained again. "No, it's happy crying," she insisted again. "Because you love Agon." and I do, we do, in the present tense, forever

Last month, our daughter, then four, asked me why I was so sad. And so I told her a version I hoped she could understand (but how could she understand—I do not understand--how our country and the world can keep watching genocide, and aiding it.) “How many people in Palestine died?” she asked me. I told her the then-latest number. (Now: over 5000 children have died in Gaza. Over 11,000 people have died altogether.) “How many people are left?” she asked me.  More recently, when we were talking about Thanksgiving, about what happened to the Indigenous people, we talked about how we can’t change what happened back then, but we can try to change what happens now. I am trying to figure out what that looks like for me, how to best slot in my skills and abilities. I feel confused so often. And yet. Our daughter loves to draw. That is her skill, her ability, so we are participating in today’s action with @Portraits4Palestine #FamiliesforCeasefire. (Feel free to participate too!) We are talking about what’s happening (which feels important esp as a mixed JA/TA and Jewish family. That Judaism and Zionism are not one and the same!!). She drew this picture, which features our family, my mom, and a dragon, with a Palestinian flag and a rainbow heart. We asked her what message she wanted to put. Her first idea was “bad people stop being bad,” but her second was “Stay Safe, Palestine”. We are going to send it to our representatives. (please: @congressmanraja , @senduckworth , @durbincampaign , @ilsenatedems : ceasefire now.)  It is so, so easy to feel like we cannot do anything, to just let this happen around us. To not have hope. To give up. To think it’s over. And yet. There are still, as I told my daughter, so many people left. Grieve for the dead//fight for the living.

Tomorrow my book THE NIGHT PARADE **finally** comes out, though it feels like it already has made its way into the world—we were lucky enough to get early copies for our book party last week. In the end, even though the book release date had to be delayed, I am so grateful that the book launch party happened first—that I got to celebrate with all ~300 of you in Chicago—the Japanese American, Taiwanese American, Okinawan American/shimanchu communities and beyond—first!! The people who love @cori.lin.art and I, who have loved our family here in Chicago for four generations. The people who love and grieve my father the way I do. That my family all flew in! (1) That we got to dress up as yо̄kai together!!! (5)  That we got to dance Ei Ja Nai Ka together, in our hopes of resistance and dreams of collective freedom!!! (Videos 3+9)  that we got to listen to sanshin music and do these activities (4), and eat the feast of yо̄kai macarons and butter mochi and spam musubi and okinawan andagi and Lin mix etc that all the aunties made (slide 2— when I say “we” I mean “everyone not in our family” because like a wedding, we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off and I forgot to look at any of the art or eat any of the snacks).  I feel like I blacked out during the event but afterwards, looking at everyone’s pictures and videos, I was like, wait, that was SO fun. whatever happens with the reception of the book, i’m so glad this was the beginning of the road.  again, thank you to Cori for being partner & party planner extraordinare, to @scratchsniffpurr & @vianny_ss for event planning/volunteer coordinating, @chipsforships for decor, our dozens of volunteers and to all our partner orgs: @illinoisartscouncil , @uicaarrcc , @uicglas , @nextgennikkei , @nikkeiuprising , @hoetsutaiko , @jasc_chicago , @tafagram , @wcfbook , Chicago Okinawan Kenjinkai, JACL Chicago, Look With Your Mouth, and all the aunties, family, and friends. Thanks for photos & videos to @ty_yamamoto1 , @jemmawei , Tomo Shibata, & @thetuttingtutor !!!

here are my fall book events, which I’ve held off on posting for a while (details at my website, or link in bio-- and the flyer has a typo, Pete's is Thurs 11/16!) ) I always knew my book season would be one of anxiety and joy, but I didn’t guess how it would be one of such grief and joy. These feelings are intertwined, because the personal and the communal are so intertwined. Today my daughter turns five, and I’m also thinking about the 2300+ Palestinian children killed in Gaza. I’m thinking about the eighteen people killed in Maine yesterday while they were just out bowling. I’m thinking about how all the professional emails I give and receive include “Hope you are doing as well as possible given everything”--our refrain since 2020! I’m thinking of my father, who will be the both the strongest absence and presence at our book party.  One of things I write about is how we can learn to carry our grief— to not have to move beyond it, but to move with it. I am still learning how to do this, still learning how to switch between these wild swings of emotion. As my family can attest, it is extremely hard for me to be flexible— I am praying to learn better to roll with the waves in everything. To hold gratitude and disappointment, grief and joy, all together. I do know that I am so, so excited to celebrate with our community at @cori.lin.art and my launch tomorrow in Chicago—for all of us to dance to taiko drums together, dressed as yо̄kai. I am so so so thankful for the four generations of friends and family who will be there, who are supporting and making all this happen, and who are propping me up during this time.