TFW you travel across the country to see your father’s headstone for his first deathaversary, drive a cupla hours shoved into the bitch seat of the back row to get there on Mother’s Day and it’s CLOSED?! Our sister turned around and snapped this picture at the exact moment we realized it was closed. Sure, you’d sayy HEY JACKIE WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL THE GRAVEYARD but call me friggen COOCOO BANANAS I really thought that a buncha bones were gonna be too busy having a mommy remembrance kiki or SOMETHING we could crash but NAY. You’d think……hey mother’s day is probably a day that grave homes are ESPECIALLY open? Like OPEN HOUSE MAUSOLEUM open. Like I’m smelling fresh baked muhfuggin cookies or sum garbage it’s so open. But unfortunately, you’d be DEAD WRONG.
I’m hoping that somewhere in the ether that my dad’s cells are coagulating (sure?) just enough to technically find all of this very funny. I mean, if there was one thing that my father was it was hilariously annoying. And it was extremely hilariously annoying to not see that gd head stone. THERE’S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR, DAD! Also, the second picture was by the end of the car ride and @drfantasty and I had been pressed against each other for so long and he started to spiral and was yelling HER FLESSSHHHH I CAN’T FEEL MY SISTER’S FLESH ANYMOOOOOREEEEEE and threatened to throw himself out of the car. He didn’t.
In case you were wondering how our break was going!
New @whosthebitchLPN ! This week, @karaklenk and @jackthatworm are measuring up their teenage angst through their childhood musical interests, which spanned from Ani DiFranco to Papa Roach, before getting into YOUR submissions, including a TWISTER!, a MIL from Hell, a wedding dress mix-up, a plot to ditch a dipsomaniac's dependency, and some more marital poop woes. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch FULL EPISODES on YouTube, bink in lio!
If I were more covered in Tauruses I’d be drowning in even more BULL 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩 but thank the lawd this, my favorite bull boi, was the perfect amount of bovine to be DEvine!!!! What? IT’S GOTH DADDY’S BIRTHDAY AND IF I LOVED HIM ANY MORE I’m worried I would explode his mind body spirit with my mental love power? 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯But this care bear stare is comin from DOWN THERE ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️cuz ohhhhhh nelly Geoff and I torqued our relationship UP this year by becoming writing partners and I gotta say
I love writing a game with my husband about kissing Bigfoot because @crude.geoff is essentially a tamed Bigfoot and now I can share my JUICY MEAT BOI LOVE WITH THE WORLD!!! YOU’RE WELCOMEEEEE!!! (Don’t worry you’re still gun wanna kiss mothman and chupacabra too- WE LIKE ALL KINDS OUT HERE 🪲🐶🦎🧛) ughhhhhh i didn’t know we were gonna fall even more in love while writing monster kiss but even as I write that out I think WHY WOULDN’T I??? My dreams are coming true while working with my ultimate dream come true!!! I love that so many pictures we take together are blurry bc we can barely stop giggling and talking to each other and having fun together to even PROPERLY PAUSE FOR A PICTURE HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY PULSATING DRAGON STEED 🐲🐲🐲MAY THE WORLD EXPRIENCE YOUR STREEEENGTHHHHH (via WORLDBUILDING, that is 🌎)
A new episode of @whosthebitchLPN is OUT, and this week @karaklenk and @jackthatworm are preppin' for the SUMMER BITCHATHON HAPPENING JUNE 11TH AT 4PM PST/7PM EST before getting into YOUR submissions, including an oversteppin' OF model, a mid-flight bitchuation involving iPad kids, a wedding invite inquiry, a relationship put into peril by Heated Rivalry, and a grandma full of icks. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch FULL EPISODES on the @whosthebitchLPN YouTube channel!
Something new is coming to Dorian 👀✨
🖤 Monster Match by Jackie Zebrowski @jackthatworm
Ready to fall for a monster?
⚔️ Demon Hunters by Brandon Chen @inspired.author
Two sides of a war… but only one has your heart
🎲 Dungeon Hearts by Ava Leeigh @ava_leeigh
DND meets romance — what could go wrong? 👀
Which one are you playing first? Tell us in the comments 👇
#Dorian #InteractiveStories #MonsterMatch #DemonHunters #DungeonHearts ComingSoon
When my brother says he needs more advanced hats a sister has to deliver. LOOKIT THE SMIZE ON THIS BIRTHDAY BOY and while the everything about him is giving big Hulkster energy what he’s really giving is BEST BIG BROTHER ENERGYYYYYYY So send some BBE energy on over to @drfantasty cuz I genuinely love the h outta him and you should to (love the h outta him? Guess he’s Enry now!) THANK YOU ENRY I DON’T KNOW WHAT I’D DO WITHOUT YOU (probably be forced to eat a lot less pudding) LOVE YOU BROTHER I LOVE RIDIN THE LIFE COASTER TOGETHER LET’S LIVE A MILLION LIFETIMESSSSSS
MINOR CC SPOILER (not reallyish)
ACOTAR 6 speculations
Tell us we're wrong we can take it #acourtofhorseandparents
#acotar #acotar6 #crescentcity #acotarseries
A new episode of @whosthebitchlpn is OUT! This week, @jackthatworm and @karaklenk RETURN for a run-down on their recent con-trip, Scream lore, and child-rearing before getting into YOUR submissions, including a perplexing youth pastor predicament, a grad school baby-mama dilemma, a raucous coworker, and a troubling scenario involving roommates and menstruation. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or WATCH full eps on the @whosthebitchlpn YT channel, bink in lio!
Three new games are coming soon on Dorian 👀
🖤 Monster Match by @jackthatworm
Are you ready to romance a monster?
⚔️ Demon Hunters by @inspired.author
You’re caught between two sides of a war… which side will your heart choose?
🎲 Dungeon Hearts by @ava_leeigh
DND, but make it romance ✨
Which game are you most excited for? Tell us in the comments 👇
#Dorian #InteractiveStories #MonsterMatch #DemonHunters #DungeonHearts ComingSoon
WE WANNA HEAR YOUR BARKS!!! Where my chup babies at?! Thank you @upiir_ for starting off my chup dreams with a BANG YOU ARE SUCH A TALENT! Let me know in the comments below what you think he needs to show that he’s SEXY AS HELL, DOWN TO BE AROUND HUMANS but refuses to change to make THEM feel more comfortable. But is he a hawt dirty dawg or a lithe lizard lothario?! YOU CAN BE THE DECIDING FACTOR! Click the link in my bio and join my discord channel on @dorian.live and answer my chup poll!! We’ll also be dropping more teasers and polls in there because we are working hard to get a demo out to yawll soon AND WE WANT OUR MONSTER KISSING COMMUNITY’S INPUT! Hilary Duff was right, this IS what dreams are made of
RIP @msgiuliarozzi 😢
Before you watch the NEW EPISODE of HGx2 that drops today, be sure to catch up on last
week’s ep on the LPNtv YouTube channel,
🔗 in bio!
A new episode of @whosthebitchLPN is OUT! This week, @jackthatworm and @karaklenk are bringing you some UPDATES on past submissions, including a Dunkin delinquent, a cohabitation conundrum, a humdrum husband, a familial fight, and a roommate from HELL. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch FULL EPISODES on the @whosthebitchLPN YouTube channel, and be sure to subscribe there so you catch our SUMMER BITCHATHON happening June 11th! 🔗 in bioooo
