Making a mistake and causing harm when you had good intentions is an awful feeling. When someone points out your mistake, your first reaction is probably going to be shame- and that can make you defensive.
If you’re neurodivergent you may find rejection or justice sensitivity kick in and you can find yourself trying to hold your ground, saying you don’t mean any harm and it’s unfair to criticise you - you feel like people are attacking you.
People sometimes do quickly jump to conclusions, take sides and don’t see the nuance in a situation - but defensiveness is rarely going to be helpful to anyone.
Accountability comes from taking a pause, rebalancing yourself so you can listen and learn, and respond from a place where you’ve really considered what you want to say - what you actually stand for and hold to be true.
If an immediate response feels necessary, thank the people who’re telling you that you’ve done something wrong that you’re going to take some time to consider and fully understand what they’re saying… that’s a reasonable thing to do.
More often than not, if you take this time to consider, you’ll be able to respond from your true values and intentions, own any harm, learn from the experience and build bridges that can start to make things better for all concerned.
Making mistakes is how we learn to do better - none of us is perfect. The people you’ve harmed may never forgive you, but this is how you forgive yourself and move on from shame.
#shame #consent #calledout #accountabilitycoach #consentculture
I realised recently that a lot of people see me online and like some of what I’m saying but have no idea what it is I do…
Or they hear the word “consent” and think it’s something else…
Here’s a few examples of the kinds of things I’ve helped with, for my 121 clients and members.
If you’re curious about how I might help you, please drop me a line - I have a couple of slots open for 121 clients and the membership is open - it’s just £26 a month and you get 121 and group support there.
I’m here to help you get out of your own way, make tricky decisions, be bold and brave without fearing being “cancelled” and stop over-committing and getting over-stretched.
#consentculture #consentcoach #idoconsent #consent #ethicalbusiness
Consent means soooo much more than you probably think it does…
I had a long chat with someone today about the nuances of consent and the were finding it all interesting, but what stopped them in their tracks was this:
Consent is something you can apply to your own self, your decisions and choices about what you can or can’t do, what you want, what you will and what you won’t…
I’m inviting you to ask yourself if your relationship with yourself is built on consent?
Or are you making assumptions or holding on to limiting beliefs?
What would happen if you gave yourself consent to do what matters most to you?
Obviously, you’re accountable and I’m not encouraging anyone to give themself consent to harm someone else… in my experience, people that are likely to do that don’t have a problem giving themself permission anyway… it’s those of us that have compassion and care for those around us that tend to have the hardest time making our own needs a priority. If that’s you, I’d love to know what consent you’re going to give yourself today!
#consent #permission #consentculture #idoconsent #selfcareisntselfish
Out now for you to listen too, Irregular Humans new episode...
What if the problem was never the ADHD brain — but the world it was asked to fit into? Sarah Gaunt is on Irregular Humans today and this conversation about unstoppable girls, digital community, and why compassion beats criticism every single time is one we all need to hear.
Who’s Been In Our Studios!
Last week, we had @officialsidakbar and @irregularjenn in Studio 5 for a week full of conversations, chaos and post it notes. 🌈
They have been getting stuck into rehearsals for ‘Khandan (family): The Shame Generation’ coming to Bradford Arts Centre from the 11th-13th of June.
We spoke to them about what they have been up to, how they have been finding the space, and a little bit about what to expect in the show 👀
And what’s that? You can get tickets for just £1!? Link in bio 🔗
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#bradfordartscentre #queerperformance #queerartist #bradford #visitbradford
New episode OUT NOW!
Sticky notes, zero jargon, and a fund literally called The Boring Fund — Christina Poulton is the nonprofit consultant small charities didn't know they desperately needed, and today on Irregular Humans she's cutting through the overwhelm one brilliantly simple idea at a time.
SHE HAS ARRIVED 🚀🌈
Seeing the Khandan (Family) – The Shame Generation poster printed at full size at Bradford Arts Centre feels a little surreal honestly 😭
This queer brown sci-fi universe that started as ideas, conversations and chaos is becoming REAL.
Huge love to everyone helping bring this show to life ✨
And HUGE THANK YOU to @chriscambell for bringing my vision alive with this amazing poster!
🗓 June 11th–13th 2026
📍 Bradford Arts Centre
🎟 Link in bio
#Khandan #QueerTheatre #BradfordArtsCentre #BrownAndQueer #NoFilter
After listening to a brilliant queer history of flowers yesterday with historian and writer @kitheyamwriter at @equitybd takeover at Cartwright Hall I have now completed my non-binary flower brooch which I shall wear with pride! #nonbinarypride #queerhistory #genderqueer #genderoutlaw
Season 2 of The Irregular Humans Podcast IS OUT NOW with new episodes out each week!
Discipline isn't the answer. Your environment is. Amelia Stewart, coach and simplicity specialist, is on Irregular Humans today reframing everything we think we know about productivity, action, and why "just do it" was never going to work for us anyway.
Most people talk about consent and boundaries as relational - permissions and agreements with other people.
But consent starts with you giving yourself permission to show up your way, with your energy in balance.
Consistency on social media doesn’t have to mean daily or weekly routine - it can mean being consistently your whole self... showing up authentically, not like someone else told you to show up “for the algorithm’.
Consent starts with you and it ripples out as we shape our lives and model behaviours - we can put up with a harmful status quo, or we can start shaping something kinder, fairer, safer and more human... imagine a world like that!
#consentculture #consistencyiskey #boundariesmatter #consent #socialmediatipsforbusiness
🚀 WE’RE HIRING: Technical Stage Manager (TSM) 🚀
Dhamaka Arts is looking for a Technical Stage Manager to join Khandan (Family) – The Shame Generation — a bold, heartfelt, sci-fi solo show touring across the North 👀✨
This is a key role supporting the full journey of the production — from rehearsals in Bradford to performances and touring. If you’re someone who thrives on organisation, loves running a room, and can hold the technical heartbeat of a show… keep reading 🎭
✨ £600 per week
✨ 3-week contract (across rehearsal + performance periods in 2026)
✨ Bradford-based rehearsals + performances
✨ Touring to Hebden Bridge, Leeds & Liverpool
You’ll be:
🎧 Running the stage + calling the show (QLab, sound, lighting, projection)
🧠 Building and maintaining the calling book + production bible
🤝 Collaborating with creatives, venues & technical teams
⚡ Keeping everything smooth, safe, and show-ready
We’re especially encouraging applications from Global Majority, LGBTQ+, disabled, neurodivergent and working-class creatives 💜
📍 UK-based & able to commute to Bradford
📅 Deadline: Updated May 3rd 5pm
Apply with your CV + short expression of interest (max 200 words):
📧 [email protected]
Tag your favourite TSM, your backstage legends, your “has a spreadsheet for everything” people ✨
#TheatreJobs #StageManagement #TSM TechTheatatre
Informed consent is really important - if you don’t understand what it is you’re agreeing to, you can’t agree to it meaningfully.
But how do you know if I know what you mean?
What if I don’t know what you don’t know?
Do you know what you don’t know?
Consent isn’t a simple one-off transaction - most of the time it’s a live practice, the process through which we relate to one another without hurting each other. So it’s important not to make assumptions or hold expectations - and instead to stay curious.
Curiosity is a really powerful tool for navigating consent so that everyone involved or impacted by our decisions is comfortable enough and safe enough to continue.
#consent #consentculture #consent101 #informedconsent #idoconsent
