I HAVE A LOT TO SAY AND I W̶O̶N̶'̶T̶ WILL
It’s been a year since my first solo show I HAVE A LOT TO SAY AND I WON’T. I’ve been sitting on all the documentation and things I’ve wanted to say about the show. It wasn’t the show I had originally intended on making, but I think it came out better than the original idea would have.
I HAVE A LOT TO SAY is about many things. It’s about identity, fear, anger, and control. It’s about holding on and letting go.
I still find it odd to talk about what was going on while creating this show, it's hard to sum it all up cleanly. There was a lot that had been going on in the months leading up to it that I was trying to process. I was questioning what and who I could actually trust as well as how safe I actually was in the communities and spaces I’m actively a part of. There was at least a month if not longer where I was particularly paranoid. I don't have a car and I felt like I was on high alert constantly as I made my way from job to job and back home. I literally had someone come into the MaMo one day and tell me he knew where I lived because he saw me walking home. I became insistant that anyone could find out where I lived and the safe space I had just worked so hard to have would be taken from me. I started to debate if I should dye my hair a natural color again, just so I couldn’t be identified so easily. I can't even describe what it felt like to think I would have to give up part of myself to feel safe.
So I wanted people to question their own safety in the space, I wanted them to experience even a fraction of the fear and dread I was feeling everyday. This is where the idea of hanging scissors from the ceiling came from.
I've been obsessed with scissors since I was a child. I love the way they look, the way they sound. I love that they are a tool used in both creation and destruction, that in using them the creation and destruction happens simultaneously, one action cannot be separated from the other. With the work being primarily made from my own hair, the scissors tied in really nicely. The tool used to cut the tethering of the old self to the new self.
More thoughts and photos to come ✂️🖤
SLABs final (I think?) photo dump from the Death of a Toymaker event. We're looking forward to seeing you all at the next bloody mess we make.
Thank you to @the_mourning_dolls , @hotsackofbones , @dj_barrens , @harsh__realms , @djoperatorseven , and the many behind the scenes for pulling these nights together. It takes everyone of you.
A bigger thanks to the community for coming out and making it sparkle like the dark diamond it is becoming. We do this for you, and could not do it without you!
While we can reach quite a few coffins, there are definitely dark corners into which we have not ventured. If you know of ghouls and fiends who would raise for a night of danse and delerium make sure to send a raven their way. The community grows because the community knows. Share everywhere you can for this and future events. It is appreciated 💜
#goth #omaha #darkdance #gothaesthetic #gothfashion #gothstyle
Another photo array from the Frankentoy event at the last SLAB event. Thank you all for creating and @hotsackofbones for running the lab 😈
We will see you all in March for the next dark affair.
#goth #gothaesthetic #omaha #darkdance #gothstyle
SLAB and @the_mourning_dolls slayed with the Death of a Toymaker event.
Performance and photo ops.
Frankentoys helmed by @hotsackofbones cranked out countless creepy critters. I hope the proud parents share their photos online.
@sacred_snapdragon showed up and showed out with a table chock full of splendid treasures.
@djoperatorseven and @harsh__realms helped me bring the evening's soundtrack.
@dj_barrens kept the delerium at maximum from the bar.
Thank you all for coming out and keeping the community strong. 2026 will be a fantastic year to be in the community!
My set list for SLAB 1/10/2026 will be on Spotify shortly (Link in Bio)
* request
8:30-9 PM
Red Lorry Yellow Lorry...Nothing Wrong
Fantasma Negra...Heat
Fee Lion...Circles
The Veils...Low Lays the Devil
Siouxsie...Something Wicked
Moto Boy...Everybody's Running from Something
Elita...Mentally Not Here
Curve...Horror Head
Peter Murphy...I'll Fall with Your Knife
9:30-10
Emmon...For Real
aYia...Ruins
Janet Azimuth...Witches
This Mortal Coil...Drugs
Joy Division...Novelty
Nox Novacula...Victim
Temple...Grief
10PM
The Mourning Dolls Performance
Robert Austin...Dolly's Nightmare
Scott Reinwand...Ring Around the Rosie
Dottie Evans...Tonight You Belong to Me
11-11:15 PM
Virgin Prunes...Pagan Lovesong
The Bolshoi...Happy Boy
Sisters of Mercy...Walk Away
Tones on Tail...O.K. This is the Pops
Lebanon Hanover...Gallowdance
12:15-1 AM
Clan of Xymox...Stranger
Love Sharks...Bipolar Nation
Helena Hauff...Spur
The Discussion...Fade Away
Specimen...Hex
Lords of the New Church...Open Your Eyes
Psychic TV...Godstar
Legendary Pink Dots...The More it Changes
Chelsea Wolfe...The Warden
Curse Mackey...Dead Fingers Talk
ABU NEIN...City of Dust
Vick Vapors...Espera
1:25-2 AM
Princess Ugly...Break Every Room
Mica...Vampyr
Rosetta Stone...Sacred to Me
Peter Murphy...Crystal Wrists
Gene Loves Jezebel...Heartache
Mission UK...Into the Blue
This Eternal Decay...Getting Deeper
Veinamous...Meet Your Demise
Killing Joke...Kings and Queens
Adam & the Ants...Dog Eat Dog
Neubauten...Haus der Lüge
Thank you as always to @1901verdictomaha . You all are fabulous.
#omaha #gothaesthetic #goth #tradgoth #gothstyle #darklife
SLAB was super fun this past Saturday. I hope you were able to make it 😈
@hotsackofbones crushed on the Frankentoy event. There are going to be photos for days to share. IF you made one, please post a photo to let your friends see what you created. If you are so inclined, tag me so I can share it too!
@the_mourning_dolls photo shoot, performance, and calendar launch provided visual entertainment plus photo ops for guests. Their Mystic Readers providied existential help for those seeking guidance from the void.
@sacred_snapdragon brought a very wide array of outstanding artistic creations, and generously donated a piece to the raffle.
From what I could tell, the special drink menu @dj_barrens crafted filled in the libations and delerium portion of the evening.
@djoperatorseven , @harsh__realms and myself kept the music dark and spooky rounding out the atmosphere, with the accompaniment of SLAB remixed @heavier_than_air_experimental visuals.
If you like goth, dark arts, performance art, a spooky community, or are just darkly inclined come on out! We're here to warm your cold dead soul and have the space to let you and your fiends hang out while meeting new ghouls. It's fostering some splendid new growth in the local scene.
SLAB is always Pay What You Can. Money should never keep us apart. We support community over everything. We've been collectively too fractured for too long. Let's close those gaps and keep celebrating what makes us vibrant 💜
#gothaesthetic #goth #omaha #gothstyle #tradgoth #darklife
My heart is still so full of love and laughter and limbs from this weekend 🔪🧸🖤
Thanks to everyone who came out and made beautiful abominations with me and thanks to @djlusterdust for letting me bring my silly arts n crafts to you all
I hope all your franken-babies are enjoying their new homes 💕
Thank you for coming out to wrap the 2025 with BLOK! It was excellent seeing you all danse and revel. And the Maul-A-Doll lab was bubbling over with some creative creations. Thank you so much @hotsackofbones for bringing the creations to life. I hope you all enjoyed yourself and your creatures are settling in to their new haunts.
BLOK returns @petshopgallery for our next Dark Party in January with another evening of goth and dark beats filling the night.
Thanks to @djoperatorseven for spinning the plates and Petshop for opening up their space for us!
BLOK 12/30/2025 on Spotify (Link in Bio)
* request
Ceremonial Leather…She Speaks
Octavian Winters…Velveteen
Deathcreeption…Vampire of Sacramento
Liminal Project…The Walker
Castle De Crux…NOW NOW NOW
DARKWAYS…Dark & Light
Midnight Configuration…No Real Mercy
Love and Rockets…All in My Mind
Vision Video…Normalized
The Wake…Procession
Lathe of Heaven…Heralds of the Circuit-Born
The Cramps…Human Fly*
Scary Bitches…Werewolfe*
Scatman Crothers / The Cure…Ev’rybody Wants to be a Cat / Lovecats
Joy Division…Disorder
Moth Slut…Omni Tempore
blood.twin…UnDread
45 Grave…Evil
Alien Sex Fiend…R.I.P.
Absence+Alchemy…Thumbscrew Confessions
The Smiths…Girl Afraid*
Siouxsie…Red LIght*
Small Town Titans…You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
The Flesh Eaters…See You in the Boneyard
Sex Gang Children…Guy Wonder
Switchblade Symphony…Bad Trash
Witchhands…Sebastian
The Ink Bats…No Other
She Wants Revenge…Tear You Apart*
Christian Death…Figurative Theatre
Cinema Strange…Aboriginal Anemia
Xmal Deutschland…Qual
Horror Vacui…Corvus Corax
TRAITRS…Thin Flesh
Ex Lover…Make Believe
Bauhaus…In Fear of Fear
Nick Cave & Bad Seeds…Brother, My Cup is Empty
Sisters of Mercy…Floorshow
Red Lorry Yellow Lorry…Nothing Wrong
KMFDM…Godlike
Nine Inch Nails…As Alive as You Need Me to Be*
Cocksure…The Nurses of Cocksure Island
Vempire…Last Christmas
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#goth #deathrock #gothomaha #danse #blok #slab #setlist
In the crush of everything, I didn't post a setlist from DEC. Thank you all for showing up and sharing the night 💜
If you thought this was fun, buckle up for JAN. The SLAB team and @the_mourning_dolls are pulling together a very interactive evening. I’ve attached a ‘teaser’ for a part of what we are doing led by @hotsackofbones .
Stay tuned for @gothicon2.0 updates 😈
Happy holidays and we’ll see you Saturday, January 10th.
SLAB 12/13/2025 on Spotify (Link in Bio)
* request
9-10 PM
The Coventry - Atropine
Crush of Souls - World of Fear
Midnight Configuration - No Real Mercy
William Bleak - Phantom Pain
The Ultimate Dreamers - Polarized
Twin Tribes - Monolith
Nightsweat - Puppet
Ductape - Fine
@exloverband - Too Late
House of Usher - Attention Thieves
Corpus Delicti - Haunting Picture
Death Cult - Gods Zoo
Play Dead - Burning Down
O. Children - Fault Line
Fields of the Nephilim - Preacher Man
Bauhaus - Stigmata Martyr
Dead Spells - Until Hell
Neurasthenic - Just for a Moment
11-MIDNIGHT
Skeletal Family - Promised Land
Mouth Ulcers - A Perfect End
Joy Division - Disorder
OnYon - Moony Cat
Rival Cults - Heraldry
Bauhaus - Third Uncle
The Cure - Close to Me*
The Smiths - This Charming Man*
Echo & Bunnymen - Lips Like Sugar*
Siouxsie - Slowdive*
Mareux - The Perfect Girl*
VOWWS - Esseff
Sisters of Mercy - Ribbons
Janet Azimuth - The Darkest Day
Vosh - Perfection
The KVB - Dead of Night
Elysian Fields - Set the Grass on Fire
1-2 AM
Alien Sex Fiend - Ignore the Machine
Ist Ist - I am the Fear
Love and Rockets - Inside the Outside
Nosferatu - The Gauntlet
The Birthday Party - Mutiny in Heaven
Pawns - The Gallows
Scarlet’s Remains - Anatomy Der Selbstzerstörung
Mission UK - Into the Blue
Danielle Dax - Fizzing Human Bomb
Fear Cult - She Loves Me Not
Peter Murphy - Final Solution
Ghosting - Ad Infinitum
Human Drama - It is Fear
Hexentraum - Mare Tenebrarum
This Cold Night - Lovers Don’t Wear Gold
The Masqs - BLACK SKIRT
Absence+Alchemy - Thumbscrew Confessions*
Tori Amos - Caught a Light Sneeze
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#goth #deathrock #dansemacabre #danseparty #darkomaha #omaha #tradgoth #gothgoth #spooky #omahagoth #danse #slab #blok #djlusterdust #setlist #darkarts
