Recently I read @fearnecotton ‘s book likeable (loved it) but it really made me sit and think.
Since 2020 - I’ve been lucky enough to be a full time secondary teacher - which is a real privilege. Reflecting over the past fortnight (during some much needed down time) and in the run up to wedding season, I felt like I’ve been denying a huge part of myself, so with the encouragement of some key people in my life - I’ve been slowly dipping my toe back into singing more. Not in the world of musical theatre - just in my lane, on my terms.
I’m 27 in this video. Hustling for my life - singing at any off west end venue that would have me.
Younger me would never have posted this video without removing it at a later date.
I’d have been way to busy …
Scrutinising every note
Hating my acting choices
Fearing people taking the mick
Fearing what people would say or think.
Being fearful that people would think I’m a big head or a show off - who does she think she is. @fearnecotton talks about this feeling ALOT! And you feel it as a women so monumentally for trying to promote yourself or celebrate your achievements.
Thinking I looked ugly with my naturally curly hair that I could never manage.
Fear that the wrong person would see it and I wouldn’t get called into an audition.
I feel like this fear made me shrink myself for a very very long time.
At 33 it feels very freeing not to feel that pressure anymore. This is literally one of my favourite songs in the world and I always felt like I was flying when I sang it. When I found it today - I feel proud of that 27 year old doing what she loved! So here’s to that! ❤️
