WE’RE NOT WORTHY! WE’RE NOT WORTHY!!! Happy BIG Birthday to Blake “Black Mail” Meahl, President of Party and things cinnamon sugar related.
While I have had the privilege of spending the last 2,104 days with Blake pretty much unendingly (you would, too, if ya could!), this is his 40th ultra-casual roll in ze hay ‘round the sun. Never once am I not amazed by all the lives he’s led in these 40 years, in the crafty intelligence and wisdom he’s earned and cultivated throughout this funny life. So many incredible feats, low and high, a testament to endurance… Blake is a fascinating person to witness, someone who is deeply loved by many, and loves so many in return, and is seen as this happy-go-lucky person, adorable puppy paws bounding from one thing to the next…
For true, I have never seen a single person who thinks as hard as Blake, who considers minutea as much as he does, eyes and mind moving a thousand miles a minute in quiet observation, contemplation, considering the endless gossamer webs of interconnectivity connecting all life, all things. He’s a treasure for those wise enough to observe in turn, for the logicians, the learned. It’s the lessons he has learned from forging countless lives in these 40 years that allow this to be the case. I know very few people who have had as much of an impact upon the lives of others as he has, someone who, when he is recognized or stopped, is told about his remarkability, recounted with a glowing fondness from the conjured memory. Many firsts, or being inspired and pushed, to play music, to conduct business, to shine. It takes so much, to encourage others instead of set them on a competitive edge… It’s not something one hones, either. It is, deeply, a gift.
I am lucky to love and be loved by you, an immense force (hi! sleeping snoring next to me, thematically!) The finest gift of all is to grow alongside you, to watch your heart and mind develop, to admire you by your side, the most sublime view of all. Every year the darkness is forged into sharpness. Fractal folds of starry damask. You slice through time and space to bring beauty to this aeon.
I will still fuck you up in Big Buck Hunter tho
O friend and companion of night;
Foe of radiance, but friend and mate of Gloom;
Thou who rejoicest in the howl of dogs, and in crimson gore,
Wading 'mid corpses through tombs of lifeless dust,
Panting for blood; with fear convulsing men;
Thousand faced moon, Hekate, Red Mother, she who alone heeded Persephones cries;
Cthonic Titaness, Creatrix
Look favorably upon our sacrifice, the call of your disciples;
Who tread the swirling pathways through thorn, tears, and blood;
By your eye, I seek no light;
Only flame of torch and fire bright
———
escaped texas thanks to this cowboy. i love my friends. real hell’s heroes post coming next week. this photo and every photo of the weekend captured by the top boss @hexgrlfrnd
An old mentor of mine gifted me a tarot deck of magical creatures. After giving it the once-over, I said, “This doesn’t account for reverse placements…” to which he replied,
“You need to stop taking things so seriously.”
Who’da thunk the most serious situation would get me riding off into the sunset with the least serious hunk. Luck is as funny as fate, I see, and the punchline is love... And to be loved is to be changed. So much more than my hair has faced that change- the very framework with which I view the world is different- brighter, happier… The change is mutual, and can’t just be without both of us commenting on it ceaselessly with an awestruck, relieved, laughing, “DUDE, I knooow!”
p. cool to be in love idk what to tell ya more’n that. i highly suggest getting out of your sullen dumpster and approaching everything with an open and light heart, because life is better when it’s tender and lovey dovey mushy gushy naaasty. cuz then ye’ll have photos together way down the block that’ll make you go “HEY! we hit that pose before!!!” and then shove it in everyone’s faces because while we can all roll our eyes and feign a gag or two over the obligatory, gratuitous nature of social media holidays, we share our lives because we want to connect, to bond, to see and be seen by the people we love. and there’s nothing trite about that, is there?
(p.s. blake has no idea how to use a phone, so I’m taking the opportunity to remind everyone that this foo does NOT age.)
#LURVE #BUBBLES #iforgotthatiwasblondeforawhile #ibetyouhadnoideainthefirstplace #itwasstraightupredinthatsecondpic
3 years!!!!!!!! still cant dance but that was always sorta the point. craaaazy work we didn’t elope but yer beautiful mom and auntie lowkey threatened me with a knife. my little babydoll dress doesnt fit my cans anymore anyhow! fucking love you and gonna keep on loving you, cause i dunno if ya heard, but it’s the only thing i wanna do. fuck sleeping. fuck eating. lame as hell. only things that matter are REO Speedwagon and marriage. 5ever.
#PROSE
Happy Birthday to the Millennium Princess. Jill Paula Janus was Blake’s partner, collaborator, and best friend of 10 years… So most people know her from that lifetime, but before that, she was signed with the Spice Girls manager and ruled the roost of NYC, including at Windows On The World, the cabaret show on the top of the World Trade Center.She was a professional Opera performer, Danzig worshipper, and Queen of Sleaze’n’Screams before you were ever shoved in a locker fer wearing a Slayer tee. She blazed a trail that would make the Homeric Muses green with envy and lived lives that most people don’t even realize were possible.
I believe that to love someone, you must love those that loved them. My faith brought the threads of Blake and I’s lives together, just as it did with Jill and I. The borders of the tapestry are separated, but therein lies the reason. To advocate, guard, defend, love. I always knew, but I didn’t understand until I shook off my fears. The beast of suicide has been a personal haunter all my life; so, too, was the fear of never being good enough to feel deserving of anything. Made the path miiiighty scary.
“If you dream it, you can be it.” Greeted me at the most opportune time. Conquering a fear, no matter how deep, is oft the key to the gate you’re longing to open; for behind it is knowledge- of the world, of life, of others, of the self.
I have taken it upon myself to know her as much as someone can. To honor her, to make her dreams come true, and carry her message to all. My home is a museum to her; a temple, and I’m an eager priestess to the huntress, and the flaming arrow is aimed and loaded right at the sky. 🖤⚡️
Enjoy the collage. Read some excerpts. Feel a little inspired and make somethin’, would ya?! + if anyone wants to see her plaque in Portland, the city took it down, but we slapped a few in hidden spots they’d need some serious effort to deface.
May I please invite you to wish the marvelous, magnipotent, m’friggin-bitchin’ Blake Meahl a magnificent birthday?!!!
Last year, we held such an incredibly massive 40th rager that it brings me to tears to even think about… Not just because of how much time and how many sticks of school glue were spent on those lifesize cardboard cutouts (couldn’t have pulled that off without Tyler and Alex, the other two people in this world who I know in my heart love to make B laugh), but because of the outpouring of love and support that seems so effortlessly magnetized to Blake in every way… But when I cornered him with electrified jumper cables about WTF we were gonna do this year, he goes-
“I just wanna hang out with you!”
And while I kid constantly about how no-one should wanna hang out with their wife, because, let’s face it, heterosexual married malaise is a funny trope, the real deal is that Blake is my best friend, and the answer came as no surprise. Because we’re best friends, and the feeling is constantly agreed upon in varying degrees of amusement and relief, worthy of giggles, cheersing, and a good kvetch sesh.
Aside from being my best friend, Blake is also one of my bosses (hot!). A massive blind-spot for most of our friends- Blake is, to put it lightly, a Juggernaut in the field of Landscape. If you’ve been in our neck of the woods on the freeway, you’ve passed our Nursery, which is just one massive cog in a colossal machine, of which Blake has become the master more and more. The term “family business” connotes a Calico Critter set in matching outfits tending to a quaint tomato stand… While we all match occasionally, it’s leagues more than that. It’s nonstop hours, hundreds of clients across five sweeping divisions, and hundreds of families who rely on our business with decades and generations having been in our teams, on our crews. 46 years in total, with Blake being there for over 20, bearing a lifetime of sunburns, ungodly early hours, and Spanish skills that weird native speakers out, to truly earn what his beast of a role is now. His entire direct team are my favorite coworkers, and seeing people’s faces light up when he’s around because of (CONTINUED -)
“21 days of tour, a lifetime of memories” is what i’d say in this here caption if i were some kinda sappy fuck. i ain’t no sappy fuck! i’m a stone-cold capitalist who loves to sell YOU shit you don’t need for increments of $5! nothing brings me more joy than dressing like a party clown and standing behind a folding table, bathed in the glow of novelty LEDs and flanked by 100% pre-shrunk cotton. honestly- i really have no idea what HAARP 5g tower flouride kali yuga wavelength smacked me in the brain and caused me to develop a bizarre exuberance for doing merch, but i’m too lost in the sauce to try and stop it now. it doesn’t hurt the warm-n-fuzzy feeling that i get to play brand ambassador for my incredible, talented friends. 21 days was a juggernaut of a length to be away from my home, my dogs, my bed; and yet i found myself wanting to go on longer, especially with the @persekutor crew. i am insanely lucky for there to have been room for me on the pirate ship (complete with a bunk! yeehaw!), and to learn the ropes on easily the longest tour i’ve ever worked… and lucky, too, to be greeted by friends in almost every single city, lucky to be looked after and considered by the guys as an equal part of the team, lucky to have Blake beside me every day, and lucky to be around some of the funniest and kindest people this side of Timbuktu through the entire duration of our journey… even if we all got the flu really horribly and suffered major trailer malfunctions and definitely took 5 years off our lifespans with Kansas City barbecue.
thank you to @deathchantnoise + @bewitcherofficial for bringing Percy out on tour, and JAHBLESS 🖤
Valentine’s day? More like… Ballin’ Daily… Sorry, that sucked. You know what doesn’t suck at all? Being married and bein’ in love and havin’ a sick life beside the best friend with whom you are in love (which we have already established ruuuules) and doing fun stuff, like going to places where they turn the saturation of your photos to 100%, or throwing big parties, or taking creepy snaps when they aren’t looking, or dressing up as psychopaths, or having dogs and getting drunk and squishing their faces because all four of you love each other so much you can barely STAND it, let alone SIT it, let alone write a cogent instagram caption semi-publicly reminding everyone of your loooove.
I hope in my deepest of hopes that everyone gets to feel even a sliver of the elation and joy and all-consuming love which I have the privilege of experiencing and barely understanding when I look at Blake. I pray for that in all living things. Even though sometimes the strange machinations of love make you cry when the other person has to go to work, or cry when you’re at work together and their office door is closed and whatever really stupid thing you have a compulsion to tell them becomes a Greek tragedy because, above all, your joy is when you share your life with them, unequivocally, in all things, big or small.
“IF WITCHCRAFT ALL THE FOOLS CONDEMN, IT TURNS AROUND AND CRUSHES THEM”
… One year (and a few days) ago, I was immeasurably blessed and honored to share the stage momentarily with the legendary @jinxdawsonofcoven at their LA show with Lucifer. I was laid on the altar as sacrifice… No virgin to the process, as Jinx herself amusingly noticed, but a proud and seasoned conduit. Allegedly, someone claimed I was an audience “plant”, and perhaps I was… But not by human hands or measure.
I am not a particularly open book to the uninitiated, and thus don’t speak much on my belief systems to those I cannot communicate with in shorthand- But long have I admired Jinx and Coven, and her work for legitimate representation of the occult in a world full of charlatans and aesthetes. I have sung the above lines in the frenzy of rituals and felt, in a life where having a foot in the grave can feel very lonely, like there was someone who understood how to defend our faith. I was starstruck and grateful, and perhaps one day we will intertwine again. Until then, I keep my promise for this life, and the next, and the next, for all time.
At the end of the slides I leave you with Jinx’s own words, perfectly surmising my feelings about music and the legitimacy of the esoteric. The old ways will live and breathe again, there are still enough secrets to sustain us.
The paths are open but not free, free but not open.
Thank you for everything, Jinx.
photos courtesy of @destroyfilm and @metalheadgamer80 🖤
