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“The Unconsoled Waiting”
無可慰藉的等待
有一個潛在觀看的企圖，從路到草，到天空，隔著某一些線條跟分界，每一張圖中間都有一個強烈的東西。
構圖是一個手法，但路上會吸引到你的，或你試圖去捕捉的，可能是你內心世界裡真正的刺點。對我來說也許當時是會持續的無可慰藉。可能每個時期我追求的都不一樣 但是可以用同樣的構圖去做出不同的詮釋。
A potential intent to observe flows through these images—from the road to the grass to the sky, separated by lines and boundaries. Within each frame, there is always a striking element at its core.
Composition is a technique, but what draws your attention on the road—or what you strive to capture—may well be the true “PUNCTUM” within your inner world. For me, it might have been the profound unconsoled ache of that moment, or perhaps one that will linger indefinitely. What I seek may change with time, yet the same composition can evoke entirely different interpretations.
Fujifilm GW690
Kodak Portra 400
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Last Films of Grandma Vuvu
每年總會有個一兩次的時間回老家，每次見到Vuvu(外婆)，都會拿起相機紀錄她，幾年來也拍了好幾卷底片。記錄著她的擁抱、廚房與愛。然而今年六月回老家時，應該是說回老家的醫院時，我有預感這是我能為Vuvu拍的最後一組照片了。
在這之後的半年裡也沒什麼動力拿起相機拍照、進暗房做照片，更別說沖洗這卷底片了。直到最近開始有了創作躁期，才提起勇氣去洗這卷標記’’Last Days of Grandma’’的底片。在懷著忐忑的心情拿到照片掃描檔後，彷彿抽離到與遠在邊疆的她同在，但這次照顧她的不再是後輩的我們，而是她溫柔的接住我對離散的思念。
在拍攝時我也只是想紀錄Vuvu的當下，而非想做出某種悲傷的表徵，也並非會擔心在洗出照片時會做出紀錄Vuvu病痛的片刻，因為我對Vuvu的重視而會對這組照片所做出某種程度上的承擔。
最終洗出來的照片所呈現出的是一種毫無紛擾，得以慰藉我內心的同時撫並平家族樞紐的憂慮。
Every year, I return to my hometown once or twice, and each time I see Vuvu (Grandma), I document her with my film camera. Over these years, I’ve captured the embrace, kitchen, and the essence of her love.
But this June, when I visited my hometown—or rather, the hospital in my hometown—I had a quiet premonition that this would be the last set of films I could take for her.
For the next six months, I found it difficult to summon the will to pick up my camera, step into the darkroom, or even process this roll of film. Recently, however, a sudden wave of creative motivation gave me the courage to develop the roll I had labeled “Last Days of Grandma.”
When I received the scanned images, it was as though I was gently carried away to a distant frontier where she now resides. Yet this time, it was no longer us, her descendants, caring for her. Instead, it was her—softly and tenderly—cradling my fragmented longing for what had been lost, holding me close even across the vastness of separation.
When I was photographing Vuvu, my intention was simply to document her as she was in that moment—not to create a symbol of sorrow. I wasn’t tented to capturing glimpses of her illness when developing the photos, nor did I approach the task with the weight of portraying her pain. Rather, my focus was rooted in the respect and love I hold for her, and the sense of responsibility I felt towards preserving these memories.
In the end, the developed images revealed something entirely untroubled—a quiet serenity that not only brought me console but also soothed the unspoken anxieties tied to the bonds of our family.
Fujifilm GW690
Kodak Portra 400
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“MOLD” Short Film Stills
Model : @patty_296
Fujifilm GW690
Ilford Delta 400 Pro
(ASA :200, Ilford DD-X 1+4, temp : 19c, 7min)
Developing film in the darkroom of 串鰻室
