my last few weeks in new york were filled with incredible highs and deep lows that worked together to create a whirlwind of experiences and a mad exit. i can’t do anything without a little drama, i guess. i’m so grateful for everyone who has carried me the last 12 years of new york, and nearly 34 years of my life. yall make new york special! miss u already ❣️
today — on the day i leave nyc — i’ll share with you a taste of my experience. my home, my life, the city that became mine. this is such a small amount of the beauty that was shared with me. i’ll miss you new york. how lucky am i to have built a home that’s this hard to leave? you’ve got big shoes to fill, LA. but i look forward to what you’ve got for me. and don’t worry yall, ill be back. for now: see you soon, love you bye! 💕
banjo is gone.
it is still so difficult to comprehend. he was so much more than a cat. he was my son. my big boy. he was the only good man. he was full of thoughts and personality and charisma. he was the whole universe to me.
he loved to sleep on the pillow next to my face. he loved to be in the sun. he loved to be in the sink, or bathtub, or some water. he loved to be outside. he loved to purr. he loved to be in the way, and trip me when he was hungry. he loved me, so much.
as a baby, he was once described by a vet as a “bratty cat.” he had severe separation anxiety and a hunger for revenge; there was a point where banjo peed on everything we owned. as a teenager he bit all of my friends. but he grew up into a loving charmer, a social butterfly, the peoples prince. he was my heart. he knew he was a good boy who deserved the world, so he asked for it. loudly. and i gave it to him.
i tried to be ready. but there was no way of knowing how much this was going to hurt til it started to happen, and the pain is intolerable. there is a cavity in my heart left from his departure.
he was everything to me. thank you, banjo. loving you changed my life! and one day we’ll hang out again. i miss you so much. rest easy.
Why not start your Monday off with something to look forward to? Freak & Donna & Friends is b-b-b-back in NYC— and we’re closing out the season together. 🤝 We want to make it extra special! Hilarious live comedy, our mystical two-part finale, and a room full of laughs with all your favorite people. Trust us, you’re gonna want to be there. 🤩
🗓️ Friday March 27 @ 7:30p
📍 Littlefield, (Gowanus) Brooklyn
Sliding scale tickets available. Full details at the link in bio. 💋
Photos by @kadejoyphotography & @amandabaileyphoto 📸
revisiting my childhood with the same look of wonder i’ve always had ✨
being in the most magical place on earth (universal studios jurassic park) reminded me that we can live in fear and still find love and joy. we can be scared and yet move forward. every bone in our body can say turn back, but we march ahead, forging a path of happiness and liberation.
i’ve been so lucky to have this experience and reconnect with my childhood, with memories that i thought had disappeared many years ago. this place is special! the height of capitalism and brand culture, for sure, but also a place for people to find their inner sparkle and shine shine shine. i feel so shiny!
and yes, i did buy jurassic park merch and i have NO REGRETS. 🦖🦕 now someone get me out of florida!!!!!
a cute little edit for a chilly tuesday morning as a reminder: wear the outfit. don’t wait for a special occasion or for a photographed event. just wear it! you will never regret feeling like you love your clothes and love yourself in them. it’s a small victory in a world that is constantly trying to take our joy. wear your special outfit with pride and excitement! and send me a pic!! 🌸🩷
year in review: the third act! i actually truly don’t know how anything would have been accomplished this year without the help of the people who surround me, both in spirit and in presence. i feel so, so lucky to have such a strong community of friends and family and even the occasional random strangers who uplift me without knowing it. i’ve learned that when you ask for help, someone will lend a hand. from watching our pets, to watching our episodes, to giving sage advice when i’m in tears, to opening the door for me and literally being my support when i rolled the shit out of my ankle. these moments add up and suddenly i am the richest person on the planet — i feel love everywhere.
this year i got to travel, be with family, be with friends, reconnect with coworkers, listen to amazing music, make powerful art, attend networking events that pushed me out of my comfort zone, bask in sunlight at every opportunity, hold banjo & foxy closely, and yes— my d&d group slayed some hags and it ruled. 🤘
every year is a gift to me. no matter what happens, i will never take for granted time spent with the people i love. extending hands out to hold, saying “okay love you bye!” every time we part from brunch or the bar or get off facetime or decide to disappear for a week, and meaning it every time. finding the people i openly and constantly want to tell i love has made my life so much more beautiful. nothing matters more to me than this.
so with all that said, im walking into the new year with the resolution of staying connected. reaching out. nurturing and watering the flowers of each of my relationships. even if 2026 comes at us hard, we’re stronger together. so let’s get together! okay love yall bye!! 🤍
year in review 2025, pt ii: video mmrz from every format 📹
reminiscing on a year of friendship, community, anxiety, dancing, and karaoke. i used the expression “net positive” more times this year than i can count, which i feel perfectly encapsulates 2025. there were ups, there were downs, there was neutral space in between while i sat on my couch dissociating (some call it “wfh”). but in the end, it was okay!
it does feel harder and harder to say things are net positive when truly things globally feel darker than ever. some say joy is an act of resistance; i choose to believe this. if im able to tell someone i love them, sing them a little song, find a hug where there was once uneasiness, or fill the room with genuine laughter — i will. a world where we can smile and cry from lightness is possible. 🌸
anyway one of the downs has been that i’m certain ive been shadowbanned this year lol so also celebrating posting without fulfilling a need for validation. just for keepsakes. if you do happen to see this, thanks for watching. holler at me, i wanna hang out! i want us to laugh together 💕
