hello all,
i always hope that my work can stand for itself but for something iāve put so much blood, sweat and tears into, i canāt help but gab a little bit about it. the music iāve always held near and dear to my heart has always been love songs. for the past 2+ years iāve dedicated so much of my time to create a collection of my own. i wanted to shed the cold maximalism and lyrical vagueness of my last record with something more raw, fuzzy, comforting and warm.
love comes in many forms. love is romantic, love is friendship, love is motherhood and sisterhood and looking out for your neighbor. love is both finite and infinite at the same time. to love is to accept the inherent risk of hurt that makes the act of love that much more worth it. i have changed my artist name for the last and final time to reflect this duality.
though i did challenge myself to record and produce this album myself, it still would never have been possible without the help of my friends. I wanted to thank Izaiah Miller for his help programming drums on companion and affinity ii, as well as laying down the bass and keys on passionfruit. his contributions are the glue of this thing. I also wanted to thank @ray.b.baby for his help mastering everything. his touch on this is nothing short of movie magic. the album cover would not have both possible without the camerawork of @queenoftheolivias , the graphic design of @yng.bloom and of course the blue velvet curtains courtesy of the lovely @polly___urethane !
this album is a true window into my heart (yes, even the drake cover) and i really truly hope it resonates with you as much as it does with me.
love,
evelyn
okay itās actaully done š¤š¤š¤
i started writing conditional about two and a half years ago with the idea behind it being how i cud express my sense of femininity with music. i wanted to release stuff under a different name. i didnāt like that i cud b perceived as guitar rocker bro. i wanted something different. something more . i was inspired by beach house and the smiths and a lot of goth/post-punk and early dreampop. mostly arpeggios and clean guitar sounds. minimal distortion. just beauty.
i had a lot of stuff recorded and some lyrics but it wasnāt til i started transitioning that i rlly had something to write about. it wasnāt just going to be a pure expression of femininity; it was going to be a pure extension of myself. while the themes of transness r here, itās also about the other t word on everyoneās mind (trauma), the affects of abuse, betrayal and learning how to overcome it. these songs really serve as a time capsule listening back.
any other drummer couldāve made this a run of the mill post-punk EP. i was lucky enough to work with @izaiahmilla to truly make something expansive. i wanted to pull more from aphex twin and yves tumor. the SP 404 made it into a totally different soundworld and the parts he came up with are literally perfect. heās truly the most brilliant musician i know.
i was also even luckier to have @ray.b.baby to mix and master these songs. i rlly appreciate his patience and attention to detail, making sure every sound has been attended to (even the song with 90 layers). he really breathed new life into it. he cuntified the EP!!!
iāve never poured my heart into anything else like this. i want people to listen to this and find comfort. ik the songs can be deeply melancholic and dramatic but i rlly want the take away to be that the people and things that bring you down are only limited to a certain window of time that you have the ability to shift. it is literally conditional to one moment.
for now, itās on spotify, soundcloud and youtube. apple music soon. tapes soon. live shows as soon as i can find a drummer and bass player.
i love all of u and i also wanna give a special thanks to @mia1ini for the pictures of me š«šš«
